The Ultimate Escape
by x-Energy.Purple-x
Summary: Trapped. Helpless. Afraid. Unable to escape. As Alex Shelley's life crumbles down around him, who will be able to save him from what his life has become? *Explicit slash/violence* Rewritten!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, this is officially version 2.0 of The Ultimate Escape! After reading over the original fic, I felt that it could do with a little bit of an update and overall facelift, so I decided that it would be better to re-write it! Hopefully, you'll all enjoy this as much as you enjoyed the original!**

**As always, any and all reviews, whether good or bad, are deeply appreciated, so feel free to leave your opinions! Opinions make me a happy writer, and a happy writer is a productive writer!**

**Unfortunately, as much as I want to, I don't, nor will I ever own either Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, or anyone else who randomly decides to turn up in this fic!**

**Enjoy guys! :)**

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><p>The cold night breeze was the first thing to hit Alex in the face when he opened the main door to the hotel, and the sharpness of it made him wince subconsciously as he folded his arms tightly across his chest, trying desperately to keep himself warm. He was already beginning to shiver, and the spots of rain that were starting to fall certainly wasn't helping matters as he wandered over to stand underneath one of the canopies hanging over the entrance, taking a few deep calming breaths as he did so before he leant back against the hard brick wall behind him.<p>

He couldn't believe how much of a fool he was, how close he'd come to being rumbled by the others as he rested his head back against the concrete, trying hard to hold back the tears that were welling in the corners of his eyes. He should of known by now never to let his guard down for even the tiniest moment, and this was just further proof of why that was.

He hadn't been ready for the questions that had almost immediately begun upon his arrival in the hotel lobby. Alex arrived alone as per normal - _he_ refused to let Alex be seen with him - and as he'd walked in, he'd bumped straight into Jay, Storm and Roode. Normally, he'd have been happy enough to stand there and talk to them about whatever took their fancy, but he was way too nervous and jittery to be able to make conversation with them. Sharp-eyed as they were, they called him out on it, asking him what was going on, whether he was okay, whether his sudden change in behaviour was done to anything someone had done to him, even whether he'd pulled a prank and was looking over his shoulder out of fear for the recipient getting their own back on him.

He couldn't answer.

All Alex could hear in his head was _his_ voice, telling him to keep his worthless mouth shut, telling him that his words meant nothing and that no-one really cared about what he had to say. As he was listening to the soundtrack that made up most of his life, Jay had touched him on the shoulder, and Alex had flinched so damn violently that he thought he'd end up having a heart attack from the surge of terror that ran up his spine. Jay hadn't even had time to start apologising to him before he fled, claiming that he needed some air and that he'd catch up with them later before he practically ran out of the hotel to escape their questioning and confused stares.

Letting out a shallow shaky sigh, Alex rubbed his hand over his eyes in a futile attempt to hold back his tears, but that didn't stop them from beginning to slip down his face as he let out a half choked sob. In the past, he'd never have been caught dead letting out so much emotion; he'd rather have been killed straight between the legs and revoked of his manhood before he did such a thing, but times had changed since then. Circumstances had changed. Now, crying was one of the rare pleasures that he had left to let out all of his hurt and sadness, when he found himself alone and he had time to reflect about how far he had fallen.

It had never been like this to begin with. What had started out as one of the greatest periods of his entire life had descended into what was by far the worst, but he couldn't find anyway out of the torture that had now become his everyday waking world. He was too far in, too beaten, too broken to even think about making things change now, and even if he did try to break the cycle, he knew exactly what would happen to him. It was what was threatened to him a million times a day, everyday for the past 8 months, and even just the mere thought of the consequences was enough to make him tense and shudder in unadulterated fear.

Running his hand down his arm, his fingers shook as he slowly prised up the sleeve of his jacket, revealing his skin. Even through the unshed tears that blurred his vision, the vibrant black and purple bruises that rung his forearm, the cuts and burns that lay scattered across his arm, and the fresh and fading scars that seemed to touch every inch of his flesh were still clear as day to see. Pressing his fingertips softly to a deeply welted stripe on the inside of his wrist, he couldn't help but let out another hiccuped sob as the vividly haunting memories of the night before and barely a few hours ago played through his mind.

He couldn't even remember what he had done, but he had paid for it. By God, he had well and truly paid in blood for whatever it was he had done last night to anger _him_. Alex had begged and pleaded for forgiveness, promised _him_ that he'd be better in future, that he wouldn't upset him again, but it stll hadn't been enough to quench the violence that _he_ had unleashed upon him. If anything, Alex's cries had driven him on to deliver a particularly bloody and brutal beating, until Alex had lost all will to be able to speak at all.

Quickly rolling back down the sleeve of his jacket in disgust, a sudden wave of self-hatred and bitterness washed over Alex as he repeatedly punched his hand back into the wall angrily, not caring for the extreme amount of pain now flowing through his knuckles as the tears continued to stream down his face. He couldn't believe how far he'd fallen, how low he'd sunk or how pathetic he'd become. The Alex Shelley of old had all but been destroyed, and the Alex Shelley of now absolutely resented himself for letting it happen; but the more he let out his internal anger, the worse and worse he felt, his sorrow eventually completely overcoming him as he broke down into sobs of sheer anguish, cradling his now bloody hand to his chest as he let himself openly weep.

"Now that wasn't the smartest of ideas, was it?"

Alex jumped out of his skin in shock at the voice, his breath heavy and fast as he snapped his head round in the direction of the person who'd spoken. His widened eyes caught sight of Chris leaning up against the wall next to him, looking at him worried, and he coudn't stop himself from dropping his gaze to the floor in shame as he desperately willed his tears to stop. They didn't of course, and when he felt Chris' body move to stand in front of him, he couldn't help but curl in on himself in fear, unable to stop his natural instinct even in front of his best friend.

"Alex? What's wrong dude? Anyone would get the idea that you think I'm going to hurt you or something."

Chris remark was laced with a hint of sarcasm, but Alex knew him well enough to hear the overwhelming concern in his voice, and that in turn just made his stomach knot up. No one gave a damn about him. No one cared about how he was or what he was feeling. He was nothing more than an insignificant and worthless excuse for a human being. Nothing more, nothing less.

Chrs cocked an eyebrow at Alex's scared silence, and he reached his hand out to gently clasp around Alex's wrist, pulling his bleeding hand away from his chest and into the light of the street lamps. The second Chris had touched him, Alex had flinched violently in fear once more, biting his lip to stop himself from screaming out in pain as Chris's fingers rubbed against the welts and bruises around his arm that had been left there from the night before. Chris carefully pried Alex's fingers open, inspecting his hand as he very softly ran his thumb over the raw knuckles, trying to look at the damage down. Alex just stood there with his eyes glued to the ground as tears of pain and terror ran down his face, every muscle in his body tightly tensed as he shook.

"I don't think you've done anything major dude, but you'd better get that checked out with the doctor tomorrow just to make sure."

"Yes si- Chris," Alex mumbled under his breath automatically, his response ingrained into his brain. He barely lifted his gaze from the floor to look up at Chris, but as he did so, he caught sight of the person walking on the opposite side of the road towards the hotel, and Alex was suddenly desperate to get away from Chris and go to his room before _he_ noticed him standing there talking to another man.

It didn't work.

His eyes locked for a brief few seconds with _his_ as he crossed over the road and made his way to the door of the hotel, and the glare that _he_ fixed him with was enough to tell him that he was really going to be in for it if he didn't stop talking to Chris at that very moment. He went to snatch his hand back, but Chris kept a tight grip, making Alex wince in pain as more tears sprung into his eyes. He heard Chris sigh deeply, and he knew that whatever Chris was about to say to him was going to cost Alex dearly, as _he_ leisurely strolled along the path, staring icily at Alex the entire time as he closed in on the entrance.

"Look Alex, I know that there's something going on. You've been like this for months, and I'm really honestly worried about you," When Alex didn't reply, Chris let out another sigh before continuing. "If you don't want to say anything, that's fine, but just know that when you are ready to talk about it, I'll be ready to listen, okay? I'll see you tomorrow for our match, and promise me you'll get that hand of yours checked in the morning."

"I promise," Alex murmered brokenly, unable to shake off the fear now ripping down his spine as _he_ shook his head firmly, giving him one last glare before disappearing inside the hotel, emphatically telling him that if he didn't get his ass back to the room right now, there was going to be hell to pay.

"Good, now I'll catch you later," Chris replied softly, before carefully letting go of Alex's hand and walking back towards the brightly lit entrance of the hotel.

Watching with held breath as Chris left his view, Alex leant back against the wall for a few moments, the terror rolling off of him in thick waves as almost hysterical tears ran down his face. He'd known from the moment that he'd seen _him_ that it was going to be a long night, and the reality of having to go inside and face all of that anger and fury made Alex want to run off and never come back, but he knew that would never work.

He never had any choice.

Quickly wiping his non-injured hand across his face to get rid of the tears, he dragged himself as fast as his reluctance would let him towards the door that both _he_ and Chris had gone through, almost desperately praying that the lobby would be empty. He didn't think he'd be able to find an excuse for his condition that would be half way believable, and the prospect of facing more questions made him want to throw up. Peering through the glass, he thanked his paper thin luck that the lobby had now cleared out. Opening the door to the hotel lobby, he almost ran across the floor, not wanting to make _him_ wait any longer that he had already. Making _him_ wait was enough of an excuse for some major punishment, and as much of a coward as Alex now thought himself to be, he knew that the smartest option was to get it over and done with quick to stop it being drawn out any longer than it needed to be.

Alex almost sprinted up the first flight of stairs before walking as fast as he could down the corridor before stopping outside his room. Their room. Closing his eyes for a few seconds, he could feel his hands shake in a mixture of cold and fear as he tried to gather together every shred of courage that he still had left. Lifting his hand up, he took a deep breath before giving a couple of hard knocks to the door, listening as the thuds reverberated between the empty walls. His heart was almost buzzing in his chest as he heard heavy footsteps on the inside of the room, before the handle began to twist. Alex found himself rooted to the spot as the door swung upon with a loud crash, and he averted his gaze to the floor as _he_ came to stand in front of him, _his_ entire body radiating anger and fury.

Instantly, a fist curled itself around the collar of Alex's jacket, and Alex almost yelped in shock as he was violently yanked forward into the room and the door slammed shut behind him. He barely had time to think before he was thrown back first into the wall, tight hands gripped tight around his throat as _he_ pinned Alex hard against the wall, digging his fingertips hard into Alex's neck as Alex began to wheeze and beg, the tears starting to stream down his face once again. He desperately clawed at his throat, trying to gain some space to allow him to breath, but was almost instantly cut off as _he_ smacked Alex hard around the face, a whimper of pain being released into the air as a small streak of blood began to drip from Alex's bottom lip.

"What the fuck do you think you were playing at?" _He_ snarled viciously, _his_ eyes blazing with psychotic levels of anger as _he_ slapped Alex again. Alex couldn't help but cry and choke in sheer terror as _his_ hands tightened further around his throat, leaving the outline of his fingers on the already bruising skin.

"I'm sorry," Alex sobbed desperately, "I didn't mean to, he snuck up on me and-"

"LIAR!" _He_ screamed into Alex's face fiercely, watching with a sickening amount of perverse happiness as Alex continued to fight and struggle to breath. As _he_ abruptly let go of Alex's neck, Alex immediately crumpled to a heap on the floor, violently shaking as sobs ripped through his aching body.

"I'm sorry! It won't happen again, I swear it! I didn't mean for him to talk to me, I didn't mean for him to touch what isn't his, I swear!" Alex pleaded, hoping it would satisfy _him_ as he leant up against the wall, trying to stop the constant stream of tears from racing down his bruised cheek. He dared a look into his face,immediately wishing he hadn't as he dropped his red raw eyes back to the carpet beneath him as the terrifyingly vicious anger contorted his expressions.

Alex screamed out in pain as the sickening thud of a boot hit his chest, snatching at every last breath that Alex tried to steal. Pain rippled in waves throughout his frame as more and more savage kicks and punches were rained down mercilessly upon his broken body, thick bruises immediately being painted on his skin from the sheer brute force of the hits. Darkness began to engulf Alex, drawing him further and further from the real world, from the brutality that was being inflicted. His entire body tensed as he felt _him_ kneel down beside him, and he couldn't help but flinch as _he_ cupped his cheek roughly, eliciting a whimper of fear as _he_ went nose to nose with the visibly petrified man.

"Don't you dare ever fucking lie to me again you worthless slut! If I ever see you in the same room as him, I swear on this earth that you are going to pay dearly, do I make myself clear, or do you need a fucking demonstration of what happens when you disobey me?"

"Yes, yes! I understand, don't talk to him, don't let him touch me, don't go near him! I promise I won't, I swear on my life!"

_He_ let out a harsh chuckle. "Oh Alex, your life means absolutely nothing to anybody, and neither does your word." Throwing one last hard punch at Alex's face, _he_ stood up before giving Alex a final sharp boot to the chest for good measure. "Next time you even dare to _think_ about defying me, I'm going to slit your fucking throat." With _his_ explicit threat hanging in the air, _he_ turned on his heel before stalking over to the bed.

Alex just lay there on the hard floor, not hesitating to fight the darkness that overtook him, earning him his temporary release from reality. Shallow sobs stabbed at his pain-racked chest as the tears mixed with the blood on his slowly bruising face. Wincing in pain as he curled his knees into his stomach as carefully as he could, he finally passed out where he was, too weak and too scared to move from his place on the floor. Where he belonged. Where he would stay for the rest of his miserable, worthless life.

He couldn't do this anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So here's the next chapter for all of you that can be bothered to read this, hopefully you'll all enjoy it :)**

**As always, any reviews, whether good or bad, are highly appreciated :)**

**Unfortunately, as much as I wished I could, I don't, nor will I ever own Chris, Alex, or anyone else who appears in this fic :(**

**Enjoy guys!**

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><p>It was light when Alex finally began to stir the following morning, barely refreshed from his somewhat broken sleep; well, that's if you could even call it sleep. He'd spent most of the night awake, tense from the pain and in fear of another beating. It hadn't been until <em>he<em> had fallen asleep in the early hours that Alex began to relax slightly, but even that seemed to hurt. It shouldn't have really; he'd become use to sleeping on the floor.

It was only when _he_ was feeling generous that he allowed Alex anywhere near the bed, but that was usually only after sex when _he'd_ be too tired to kick him out of it. Even so, those were the worst nights. Just having to lie next to somebody who he didn't love anymore, with the only contact being a possessive arm wrapped damn tight around his usually bruised stomach were the nights when Alex would end up acquiring even greater self loathing and depression at his current circumstances.

It hadn't been like that to begin with, he thought soberly. He wasn't entirely sure when their banter and rough sex had crossed the line into abuse, but it apparently had. The old Alex use to fight back. The old Alex use to scream and shout until his throat went hoarse whenever _he_ even raised _his_ voice to him. Quite frankly, the old Alex use to be an absolute bastard, and despite how much trouble he got into because of it, Alex knew he'd willingly give his soul to be that same old dick he once was.

It had taken a while for the fight to be driven out of him, and Alex could barely even remember when it happened, but it most definitely had. The once pigheaded arrogance and pride that flowed through Alex had all but abandoned him, and now he would practically cower in fear if _he_ even so much as looked at him. Now, he would follow the orders and obey the rules, too scared of a beating or worse to muster the desire to even want to argue back and defend himself.

God, how he despised himself for it.

Wincing at the throb in his skull as he lifted his aching head from the floor, Alex cautiously scanned the hotel room, quickly discovering to his relief that he was completely alone. _He_ had already left. Quickly muttering a prayer of thanks, Alex let out the breath he'd unwittingly been holding, pressing his hand to his side as he attempted to sit himself up, the door being his only support.

His back flush against the wall, Alex gave a grunt as pain flared through his ribs, making him feel rather nauseous for a few moments. Breathing out a deep sigh, he lifted his injured hand up in front of his face, trying to assess the damage that had been done the night before. His knuckles were pretty damn swollen and cut up from the bricks, and he found to his growing annoyance that he couldn't really move his fingers about as much as he hoped. Realising that he'd have to actually move to clean himself up before he left, Alex let out another groan, thoroughly pissed at himself for letting it happen again.

He always swore to himself that he'd never let it happen again. After each and every beating at _his_ hands, Alex always use to promise himself that the next time would be different; that he'd stand up for himself, that he'd put _him_ in _his_ place and pay him back ten-fold for all of his abuse before walking straight out of the door and never looking back.

Unsurprisingly, it never happened.

Things were always the same, no matter how much Alex promised himself that they wouldn't be. This in turn just served to aggravate Alex even more than he already was, and it usually ended up with Alex taking out his frustration on everybody else before he retreated to wallow back in his pit of pathetic self-misery. Alex sighed deeply, knowing that today was going to end up being one of those days yet again.

Alex toyed with the idea of crawling over to the bed and getting a few hours of half decent sleep for the first time in a couple of weeks, skipping work and all of the questions that would end up being thrown at him, but he knew that this would end up achieving nothing in the long term, and he really didn't want to end up on management's bad side again. Letting out an angry huff at the realisation, he slowly pulled himself from the ground, legs tentative and stiff underneath him as he crossed the room towards the bathroom.

Out of natural instinct, Alex glanced over at the bed as he made his way to the bathroom, and he wasn't surprised when he saw a pile of clothes on the pillow. Sighing sadly, he walked over, bundling them up in his arms before he continued to go to the bathroom. This was just another thing that _he_ did. It was another way of exerting the control that he now had over Alex, and Alex couldn't help but shake his head in weary tiredness at the thought. Christ, he couldn't even dress now without _him_ dominating and forcing his every move, and that in turn just made Alex feel even worse.

It seemed to him some of the time that the little things like this actually annoyed him more than the punishments, but the truth of the matter was it was the humiliation that got to him. He resented that _he_ tried to restrict his freedom every way _he_ could, but Alex knew that if _he_ saw him and he wasn't wearing what _he'd_ put out for him, it'd just be another excuse for _him_ to inflict yet another beating upon him for no good reason.

Stepping inside the bathroom, he closed the door behind him, feeling slightly better as it clicked into place; it was yet another habit that he had. He loved being able to throw up a boundary between himself and _him_, and for those precious few moments, he could pretend he was back living his old life, without anyone else waiting for him on the other side of the door. He craved for the seconds when he was free to do what he wanted, when he didn't feel threatened and he could just truly relax and forget about all the pain and suffering he went through on a day to day basis.

Setting about his daily ablutions, he caught sight of himself in the small mirror, sighing at the sorry state of his reflection. There was the beginnings of a nice looking bruise forming on his left cheek, and there was a slight tear in his bottom lip that he knew was undoubtedly from the slaps and punches he'd endured the night before. Doing up his jeans, he straightened up, wincing slightly at the pain that rippled down his ribs. Gazing down the length of his torso, he winced at the nasty looking welts and grooves emblazoned across his chest and abdoment, and he started to worry about the number that _he'd_ done on him last night. Considering how bad it hurt at the moment, he had no damn idea how he was planning on wrestling without making whatever potential injury he had even worse than it already was.

Letting out a rather depressed sigh, he pulled his shirt on, noticing the way that it covered over the worst of the marks he had; he knew that _he_ didn't want to draw any attention to what _he_ was doing to Alex. That was why _he_ didn't want to ever be seen with Alex outside of the Impact Zone, in case it started to raise suspicions about something going on. _He_ didn't want to blow the cover that _he_ had, and being seen with Alex would definitely blow that perfect family image straight out of the water; that was another reason Alex knew he could never tell anybody about what was happening to him. They'd end up laughing themselves into a coma before they believed him.

Trying to ball his hand up into a fist, Alex let out a hiss of pain as his knuckles throbbed from the movement. Opening the door to the bathroom cabinet, Alex set about searching for the stash of bandages and plasters that he knew would be under there; he had made it a priority of his to carry around little things like that to patch himself up with, knowing that _he_ wouldn't let him go get medicial help, even if he was seriously injured. Hell, he could be dying, and _he'd_ still time him to take it like a man and stop acting like such a bitch over nothing.

Turning on the tap, Alex held his hand under the water, letting the numbing sensation that was now running through his hand soothe him. Times like this were the most bittersweet to him, the times when he couldn't feel any pain after so much had been inflicted upon him.

Once, he'd very briefly given thought to the idea of finding a solution that permanently ended all the pain, but he'd dismissed that notion the second it had come into his head. Sure, his current situation was a living nightmare, but it surely wasn't that bad, he thought rather optimistically; although, he was to be frankly honest with himself, during the worst of beatings and the abuse, he'd file it away to possibly follow up on for the future, but he hadn't read anything more into it. He wasn't some angst riddled suicidal teen, and he wasn't going to allow himself to think like that, no matter what happened.

As little pink streaks appeared in the sink, Alex turned the water off, drying his hand as carefully as he could to stop the pain from rushing back, before he awkwardly set about trying to bandage himself up with only one co-operative hand. Normally, this was when he'd start trying to think up viable excuses for the various body parts he had wrapped up, or for the cuts and bruises that he usually ended up having, but he was rather thankful that this time he had Chris to back him up on what was an innocently done injury. Well, as innocent as smashing your hand repeatedly into a brick wall could be, but nobody else needed to know that small detail.

As he finished sorting himself out, Alex heard his phone vibrate in the bedroom, and Alex instinctively tensed slightly. There was normally only two people who ever bothered to text him, and only one of those was a wanted reply. His hands starting to shake slightly, he walked out of the bathroom, crossing the room to where his phone was still laying on the floor where he'd been sleeping; he was honestly surprised that his phone hadn't been broken with the amount of times he'd been thrown into something. It was obviously a good phone, he thought rather amusedly, smirking in spite of his discomfort.

Picking up his phone, he clicked it on, intense relief flowing through him when he realised that it was Chris who had text him. This was another of the luxuries that he could still maintain. Being able to communicate freely - well, as freely as he could without _him_ noticing anyway - with the person he felt the most at ease with, the person who usually made him smile with some anecdote about a drunken night out or a prank he'd pulled, was one of the few things that was able to make him smile; though, to be perfectly honest, it usually also set off little butterflies in his stomach whenever he read his name on the screen, but it was sorely upsetting to acknowledge the fact that he could never admit that to anyone but himself as he opened up the message.

_Hey Lex, where are you dickface? Match starts in 1 hour, get your ass down here dude! Talked to dr, said he'll check your hand for you before match. No need to thank me, just hurry the fuck up! - Chris_

Alex began to give a slight smile at the sentiment, before the cut in his bottom lip reminded him of the real world and it disappeared. Pocketing his phone, he gave a deep sigh before walking over to the door. Briefly stopping to pick his jacket up off of the floor, he slipped it on as he opened the door. Closing his eyes to get rid of all of his negativity - well, as much of it as he could manage, which wasn't very much at all - he locked up the room before walking off down the corridor, making sure to keep his walking and expression as steady as possible to prevent drawing attention to himself or to the injuries he had.

Letting out a deep, shaky sigh, he strolled across the hotel lobby as smoothly as he could, hoping that the bruise forming on his cheek wasn't overly visible to anyone staring at him. Leaving the hotel, little spots of the rain began to hit him in the face just like they had the night before as storm clouds swirled overhead, and Aex couldn't help but let out a pathetically depressing sigh. For some horrible reason, he couldn;t shake off the fear that today was going to turn out to be a very bad day.

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><p>Chris was already down at the Impact Zone when Alex had arrived. He'd spent most of the morning pestering the shit out of everybody over whether or not they'd seen Alex, and when he'd established that Alex wasn't there, that's when he'd decided to give him text. He hadn't recieved a reply from him, but he was happy enough that the message would have gotten through; there was no way that Alex would leave him hanging on their match, especially after Alex had promised to come down and see the doctor.<p>

That was another thing Chris had done. The second he'd turned up, he'd gone straight to the medical room, asking if one of the trainers would be free to see Alex before their match. After much annoying and bugging, they'd finally relented, telling him that Alex would have to hurry up because they were exceptionally busy people and didn't want to be made to wait for an apparently stupid and self-inflicted injury. Chris had a massive urge to moan at them for jumping to conclusions, but upon the realisation that the doctors were obviously a lot smarter than they appeared, he'd left it at that before going to hunt down Alex.

Chris had been shooting the breeze with Storm and Roode when he'd spotted a very nervous and tense looking Alex eventually come through the door, and he couldn't help but notice the way that Alex kept rubbing his hand down his side; it was almost like he was trying to hide something, Chris thought rather oddly, but he dismissed the thought with some uneasiness. Surely if something was wrong, Alex would have told him; they were best friends after all.

Yet again though, as Chris thought back to the previous night and Alex's attack on an inanimate brick wall, he'd realised that Alex obviously was keeping something from him, otherwise he wouldn't have been such an obvious emotional wreck when he'd seen him trying not to cry last night. He knew Alex would never say that he was upset about something - Alex was one tough bastard when he wanted to be, and he'd rather have murdered Chris than admit to possessing feelings - but Chris could read Alex like a book, and it had worried him seeing Alex the way he was. To be honest, it had worried Chris a hell of a lot more than it should of, but Chris didn't want to read anything into his over the top concern just yet.

Realising that he was starting to sound like a pussy, Chris had shook his head with a slight smirk, waiting for a break in the conversation with Storm and Roode before excusing himself rather crudely. Listening to the particularly obscene language that Storm seemed to be hollering at him, Chris flipped him the bird before walking up to Alex. Alex caught sight of Chris approaching, his entire body suddenly going tense as he self consciously wondered about the bruised cheek and split lip that were on display to everyone, but the easy smile that Chris was giving him made Alex relax slightly as Chris came closer.

"Hey fuckface, where the hell have you been dude? I've been bored shitless waiting for you to get your lazy ass here!"

Chris stuck his arm out to wrap it around Alex's shoulders like usual, but as Alex instinctively flinched in fear from the action, Chris let his arm hang in mid air for a few seconds, a confused look on his face. Raising an eyebrow at Alex's panic stricked eyes, he instead lowered his arm back down to his side awkwardly in a sheepish sort of way, at a loss for what to do at that moment in time. He watched as Alex's gaze shot around the room, almost like he was expecting someone to usddenly jump out and catch him with Chris, before Chris decided to take a whole different tact with Alex to get him to calm down slightly.

His eyes locking with Alex's, Chris reached his hand out to gently grasp around Alex's bandaged hand and wrist, before he carefully lifted it in front of his line of view. He winced at the state of Alex's hand, noticing instantly the nasty looking bruises that seemed to spread down his swollen fingers.

"Shit dude, you really killed it last night, didn't you?" Chris asked softly, watching as Alex nodded his head stiffly. "Well, lucky for you then that I was able to swing a catch-up with the doctor before our match so he can let you know just how bad it is. That sound okay to you?"

Alex seemed to freeze for a moment, almost as if he wasn't sure whether or not to actually answer Chris' question; Chris' eyes filled up with concern once more as Alex stayed silent for a few minutes. Clearing his throat, Alex gave another quick nod of his head before giving Chris a faint smile.

"Yeah, that sounds cool to me dude. Just let me dump my shit in the locker room first, then we'll head over."

Alex tried to make his voice sound nonchalent and even, but Chris could hear the edge of nervousness underneath his words, and this in turn just served to make Chris' worry ramp up even further. Alex Shelley was certainly not a man who acted nervous, but this was like a whole different person standing in front of him. He didn't like not being able to joke about and laugh with Alex; hell, he didn't like not being able to touch Alex without him totally stiffening up on him for some reason. He didn't really like this new Alex. Not at all.

Chris rubbed his thumb delicately across Alex's knuckles in a gseture that wasn't lost on either man, and he watched with a smile as Alex visibly relaxed. Throwing his arm around Alex's shoulders, Chris was dismayed but not surprised in the slightest when Alex winced under his hold, his features flooding with tension again as they made their way to the locker room.

Whilst Alex was staring straight ahead, Chris couldn't stop himself from glancing at Alex out of the corner of his eye as they walked, his grip on Alex's arm temporarily tightening when he caught sight of what looked to be a faint red and purple mark along the edge of Alex's left cheek and jaw. He wracked his brains, trying to remember if he'd seen it there the night beforehand, but he couldn't visualise it being there when he'd looked into Alex's face. The knowledge that it was obviously the start of a fresh bruise was one that made Chris feel very uneasy; what the hell could Alex have done to end up getting a nasty looking mark like that to his face?

As they reached the locker room, Chris withdrew his arm from Alex's shoulders to allow him to open the door and chuck his bag in, the rucksack landing with a loud thud inside the empty room. Closing the door behind him, Alex turned so that he could face Chris, and Chris held his breath when Alex empty, sad eyes caught with his for a breif few seconds before his stare dropped to the floor once more.

Scanning his eyes over Alex's face, Chris' gaze locked upon the thin cracked line that ran over the curve of Alex's bottom lip, and he noticed the slight swelling that lay either side of it with a growing anger. Why he was angry, Chris wasn't actually entirely sure, but for some reason, he couldn't shake the image out of his head of Alex getting a good whack in the face for his lip to be split and puffy like it was. His eyes flitting between the cut and the bruise forming on Alex's cheek, Chris suddenly put two and two together, realising that Alex must have either been punched in the face, or he'd been a prat and walked into the corner of something pretty damn hard; he instantly dismissed the second idea, thinking that it was a bit pathetic.

It made Chris quietly furious that someone had obviously thrown a shot at Alex for him to end up looking like he did, but he couldn't overly think about it when he came to the abrupt realisation that Alex was staring at him with something akin to fear, his entire body tensed and shaking slightly, almost like he was anticipating a strike. He wanted to reach out his arm and throw it over Alex's shoulders again to try and make him calm down, but he didn't want to make Alex flinch again, and he knew that in the state Alex was currently in, that was highly likely to happen if he tried to touch him, so he instead settled with a chuckle that hid his growing concern.

"Dude, stopping doing that, or your face is going to be stuck looking like that forever, and there are better positions it could be fixed into, believe me. Now, are you just gonna spend all day staring at this beautiful mug of mine, or are you actually gonna shift your ass and go to the medics?"

Alex frowned at Chris briefly, and that in turn made Chris feel slightly better; that was the response he was kind of hoping for from Alex. Okay, well to be truthful, he would have been happier with Alex slinging some insult back at him and then some, but at that moment in time, Chris was rather content with a little sign that the normal Alex was hidden in there somewhere. Giving Alex a broad cocky smile, he waved his arm down the corridor in an over the top sort of fashion, watching with a smirk as Alex's shook his head in an equally dramatic way before they started walking in the general direction of the trainers room.

Despite Chris' normal actions, his mind was running at a thousand miles per hour as he continued to keep an eye on Alex surreptitiously, eyeing up the split lip and bruised jaw with a simmering anger. He wasn't stupid; he'd suffered those kinds of injuries beforehand in a match - hell, they were probably the most common injuries that could be inflicted on a wrestler during any kind of match - and he knew that a mark like that only usually came with a nice stiff shot straight to the face.

Why Alex had apparently been hit in the face, he wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to know really, but the cogs were already turning over in his head. Was this one of the reasons that Alex had started to flinch and panic about every touch that somebody gave him? Had he done something to anger someone on the roster and was freaked out over the possibility of even worse payback? Had he deliberatly gone down to the bar and picked a fight with somebody for no good reason?

Chris quickly dismissed the latter; Alex didn't go around picking physical fights with people, and he certainly didn't smell of booze for that to be a viable reason. Anyway, when Alex got drunk, he could usually barely even stand on two feet, let alone throw a punch at somebody, and when he'd seen him the night before, he certainly hadn't looked like somebody who'd gone out and gotten drunk.

That just left the first option. Alex may have definitely pissed a fair few people off in his time, but he never usually reacted in that kind of way if he was expecting retribution to be had. Usually, he gloated about it no end before usually getting a great big sock in the jaw to shut him up; he hadn't been doing any gloating recently, so that didn't really make much sense either.

Chris shook his head to snap himself out of his questioning, not even realising that they were standing outside of the trainers room and that Alex was staring at him once more with what looked like reluctance and nerves written all over his face. Giving a bright cheery smile to hide his growing confusion and concern, Chris gave a hard knock at the door, watching as Alex kept his gaze to the floor, like he wasn't allowed to look up or something. As the door swung open and the trainer ushered Alex in, Chris let him pass before shaking his head slightly.

Something had obviously happened the night before after he'd left Alex, and he wanted to find out what. Whether he'd be prepared for what Alex said to him however, that was another story.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So, here's the next chapter for your viewing pleasure! Unfortunately, there's going to be a little bit of a break before the next chapter, seeing as I haven't even started to write it yet! Oh well, hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter too much to pay attention to the little gap :)**

**As always, any reviews, whether bad or good, are highly appreciated! :)**

**As much as it pains me to admit it, I will never own Alex, Chris, or anyone else who randomly decides to pop up in this fic :(**

**Enjoy guys! :D**

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><p>The trip to the trainers room was going just as bad as both Chris and Alex had feared. After much painful prodding and pulling around, it had been decided upon that Alex had put a hairline fracture across his knuckles, something that had made Alex wince when he'd heard it. This certainly wasn't going to please <em>him<em>, and he started to silently beg that _he_ didn't try to take advantage of his broken hand to inflict a major beating on Alex, knowing that he was in even less of a position than usual to be able to defend himself. Not that he ever really tried to defend himself, he thought rather depressingly.

The trainer had scolded Alex something chronic for the injury, immediately jumping to conclusions about why he had sustained it, and Chris had to bite his tongue quite majorly to prevent himself from leaping down the trainers throat over stuff that he didn't know about. Although, to be perfectly honest with himself, Chris didn't really know either why Alex had punched the wall, but he suspected that it had to be something to do with the terrible state he was in when he found him, not to do with losing his temper like the trainer had unhelpfully suggested.

After a few minutes of stern words, the trainer began to try and hunt out a more viable and protective bandage that Alex could use, and Chris finally took the opportunity to actually look at Alex for the first time since they had entered the room. Alex's bruised and swollen hand was cradled into his chest as tears of pain welled slightly in his eyes, but the only thing that Chris could see was just how miserable Alex seemed. There were dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn't had a proper nights sleep in months, and the nasty looking bruise on the side of his jaw certainly wasn't helping the image. The tension in his shoulders had come back as well, Chris had noticed, but he couldn't work out why that was.

Alex knew without a shadow of a doubt why that was, and his growing fear about what _he_ would do to him for actually going to seek medical help, for attaining the injury in the first place, for even talking to Chris and letting him touch him tenderly was starting to make him feel sick with worry. _He_ found out about everything, it was what _his_ position on the roster afforded _him_, and Alex knew for a fact there was no way he'd be able to keep the truth from _him_. _He_ had ways and means of getting what _he_ wanted out of Alex, and the memories of _him_ doing exactly that were enough to make Alex tense and shudder in remembered terror.

Chris had a clear view of Alex's sudden change in demeanour, and he couldn't stop himself from reaching out his hand to gently clasp Alex's shoulder. However, his fingertips had barely just brushed Alex's t-shirt when Alex flinched so damn violently, Chris was convinced that he was going to end up giving himself a heart attack. Chris drew his hand back like it had just touched a burning hot iron, his gaze firmly fixed on Alex's now shaking form. Alex's wide and panic stricked eyes briefly made contact with his, and the same haunted look that Chris saw in his eyes the night beforehand was back again, only this time, much stronger than it had been when he last saw it.

Bandage in hand, the trainer walked back over to them, laughing at their situation.

"Jeez Chris, talk about scaring him! If he's jumping around like that, you've gotta be a hell of a lot more careful. Why, this one time..."

Both Chris and Alex completely tuned out the words of the trainer as he started to wrap up Alex's hand tightly, and as Alex gave a slightly hissed whimper of pain, Chris instinctively reached out his hand to softly grab around Alex' wrist, before giving it a gentle squeeze. Alex had initially jumped out of skin at the contact, but as Chris' thumb delicately rubbed across the top of his hand, he saw Alex relax slightly, the previous tension leaving his body.

Alex's eyes locked with Chris' once more, and the look in them made Chris' breath catch in his throat. The depth of unguarded emotion in Alex's eyes was plain as day to see, but it was the almost desperate pleading in Alex's stare, along side what Chris could almost interpret as fear, that seemed to grab his attention the most. After a few seconds, Alex broke their connection, lowering his gaze to the floor as Chris tried to remember how to breathe again.

The cogs had started to turn over in Chris' head by this point, and little actions were slotted together in his minds eye. The flinching, the bruises, the guarded nature, the secrecy, the tension, it all began to fit into one image in Chris' brain, and the results that were thrown up didn't surprise Chris in the slightest. Alex had obviously gotten himself in deep shit with one of the other guys; he'd obviously done something to piss them off, and now he was being made to pay for it majorly.

Well, that was what Chris was starting to think anyway; it seemed a bit more logical than the other scenarios that he'd been able conjure up. The only other one that had even the tiniest shred of possibility behind it was Alex getting beaten up for some other reason. Maybe he was in a relationship with somebody? Chris didn't really care much for whatever way Alex swung as long as he was happy, so the idea of Alex being in a relationship with another man - despite, for some reason, making his stomach knot up and a wave of sadness run through him - wasn't as far fetched as it seemed. But if that was the case, why the hell hadn't Alex told him he was seeing somebody? Alex knew as well as Chris himself did that he could tell Chris anything and Chris wouldn't mind, so why would it be any different now?

"...and that's how I ended up with a broken front tooth," the trainer finished rambling on, and both Chris and Alex suddenly switched back to paying attention. "Right then Alex, any other 'accidental' injuries you've got to show to me?" He air quoted the accidental part, and Chris couldn't help but feel the urge to want to smack him round the face for his unwanted sarcasm.

Alex froze, his ribs throbbing like fuck underneath his t-shirt as his fingers nervously played with the hemming of his top. The desire to lift up his t-shirt and show the trainer the vicious marks that had been left by him the night before was an incredibly strong one, but Alex couldn't follow through on it; he didn't have any excuse for why the bruises and welts would be there that would be halfway believable, and he certainly wasn't ready to admit in front of the trainer or Chris what had been going on for the last 8 months. Alex swallowed the lump in his throat, shaking his head stiffly as _his_ voice started to play through his head again, telling exactly what _he_ would do to him if he dared to open his pathetic, worthless mouth.

"Nah, I'm fine, it was just my hand," Alex lied, desperately trying to keep his voice as even and as calm as possible as he spoke. He certainly didn't want to draw anymore attention to himself than he already had; as it was, just sitting in a room under the scrutiny of two other people was enough to make him want to flee. He saw both Chris and the trainer raise an eyebrow at him, suggesting they didn't really believe him, but fortunately, nobody decided to question it any further.

"So then," Chris started, trying to break the tension that now flooded the room. "Does this mean that he won't be able to wrestle today then?"

The trainer shook his head. "Well, I wouldn't personally advice him wrestling until the swelling and pain have both gone down a bit, but if it's of major importance that he has to perform today, then as long as he's careful I don't see any reason why he couldn't. He'd just need to limit all movement with that hand, and make sure that he doesn't take any direct shots to it."

Chris nodded his head, before turning to look at Alex. Alex almost seemed like he was staring into space, still tense and softly shaking from the touch that Chris had given him earlier, and when it appeared that Alex hadn't heard anything that was said, Chris gave out a sigh, making an executive decision.

"I don't think he'll be wrestling today, I don't think he's really in the game to stop himself from getting injured worse. I'll let Storm and Roode know in a little while so that we can come up with something."

Chris stared down at Alex, highly surprised at the lack of argument from him. Usually, anytime that Chris tried to make a decision for him, Alex would scream, shout and sulk until the cows came home and Chris changed his stance on whatever it was they were discussing; the silence that continued from Alex was enough to make Chris' ever increasing worry grow even more, and he definitely decided that he was going to need to have a chat with Alex sooner rather than later to find out what the fuck was going on with him.`

"Well, in that case guys, I think I can let you go. Just keep an eye on that hand, don't overstretch yourself, and if you do anything ultra stupid, be sure to come back and I'll sort it out for you again. That sound okay to you two?"

Chris nodded his head, thanking the trainer before crossing the room and opening the door; Alex followed close behind him, his eyes firmly fixed to the floor and his hands still shaking in fear. As the door swung shut behind the two of them, Chris let out a sigh, before turning around to stand in front of Alex. He immediately noticed the way that Alex shrunk right in on himself, and Chris instantly came to the decision that he was going to have to make Alex talk, and make him talk right now.

"So then," Chris started off nervously, trying to think of a good way to start his interrogation without making it blindingly obvious what he was trying to do. "You never actually told me why you decided it was a good idea to beat up a brick wall."

Alex stood there in silence, backing up slightly against the wall to put a little bit of distance between himself and Chris. He didn't want to; if he knew he could, he'd have clung to Chris' body and refused to let go no matter what, but the idea of _him_ potentially spotting them together and making life an absolute living hell for him after _his_ threat the night before was too much to bear. As much as Alex didn't want to, he had to put space between them, when all he wanted to do was claw that gap shut and tell him everything.

When Alex hadn't given a reply to him, even after a few minutes of letting him think about an answer, Chris took a step closer to Alex, instantly noticing the way that Alex seemed to push himself even further against the wall to avoid his touch. Alex's eyes were wide with fear, and he had begun to tremble as Chris boxed him into the wall; upon spotting this, Chris reached his hand out, wrapping it softly around Alex's bandaged hand and wrist. Alex had instantly flinched, and his breathing had suddenly sped up something chronic, definitely like he was afraid of something, and Chris couldn't help but worry.

"Alex?"

"I, um..." Alex murmered, his voicy shaky and quiet as he fought the urge to spill everything to Chris. He didn't want to think of the consequences that would happen if he did tell Chris what had been going. Last time _he_ had believed Alex to tell somebody, Alex had ended up in hospital for 3 days after the most vicious beating imaginable; God only knew what _he_ would do to him if _he_ found out that he'd told someone for real. "I can't remember really, I just got a little bit angry at myself for something."

Chris raised an eyebrow at Alex, noticing the way that Alex refused to look at him as what looked to be more tears began to well up in Alex's eyes. He rubbed his thumb gently across the top of Alex's wrist, almost wishing that he could lace their fingers together to give Alex some reassurance over what was currently troubling him so much; he knew he couldn't though, not only because of the injury to his hand, but because he didn't think Alex would respond well to that level of intimacy from him. Despite everything that Chris wanted to do to Alex to make him feel comforted and adored, he couldn't bear the idea of making him feel even more threatened and worried.

"Now, why would you get so angry at yourself that you'd decide to punch the shit out of a solid brick wall? Usually, you don't really give a fuck; why's this time so different, huh?"

Alex froze under Chris' gaze; he didn't know what the fuck he could say as a viable excuse. After all, how could he possibly admit that it was because he was thinking about how far he'd fallen, how pathetic he'd become and how broken he now was compared to 8 months ago without Chris asking him to explain why that was? He was caught, trapped between a rock and a hard place,and the only way out of it was for him to continue his game of ignorance in front of his best friend who obviously didn't believe a word that he was saying.

"I don't know," Alex stuttered out frantically, seriously hoping that Chris would drop the subject soon as more tears of desperation continued to fill his eyes. "I'm not sure why I did it, it just kinda happened really, I don't know why."

Chris let out a slightly frustrated sigh, trying to keep his growing irritation under wraps as he gave Alex's hand a soft squeeze. "Alex, you know that you don't have to lie to me. I understand that you're obviously having to deal with some major shit that's going on for some reason, but I don't want you to think that you can't tell me."

Chris took another step closer to Alex, his breath hitting Alex's face. He curled his fingers under Alex's chin, lifting his head up so that Alex had no choice but to look at him. As he did so, Chris caught sight of what definitely appeared to be darkening purple bruises around the side of his throat, like he'd been held in place hard by someone's hand, and Chris couldn't help the horrified concern that now flooded his face.

"Jesus Christ Alex, what the hell happened to you? I could overlook the mark on your jaw and the split lip you're carrying, but those are some really nasty looking bruises!"

Grasping Alex's chin carefully with his fingers, Chris delicately rubbed his thumb over the marks on Alex's neck, twisting Alex's head slightly so that he could get more light on them. As he did so, the painful outline of what looked to be fingertips dotted just behind Alex's ear became visible for the first time, and as Chris gazed over them, his worry seemed to increase ten-fold. Pulling back to gaze at Alex, he was beyond shocked as the tears in his eyes overwelled and began to run down his face, and the urge to want to wrap Alex up in a hug and tell him it would all be okay became an almost overwhelming one.

Alex, on the otherhand, had never wanted to flee before so badly. He'd seen the concern in Chris' eyes, and the way that his fingers would gently brush over his bruised skin, and although the softness of Chris' touch made a slight warmth of calmness rush through him, he needed to get away from him before he absolutely cracked.

"Nothing happened to me Chris! I'm fine!" Alex whispered back desperately, his words getting caught in his throat as he tried with all of his strength to stop the tears running down his cheeks.

"Bullshit Alex, utter bullshit," Chris responded back instantly, his growing concern mirrored in the tone of his voice as his words came out just as frantic as Alex's did. "What's happening to you? Why can't you just tell me what's going on, because you're obviously not fine Alex. You're not okay, and I'm trying to help you, so why can't you just let me in and tell me what the fuck happened?"

"I can't, okay?" Alex sobbed back at him before he could restrain himself, pushing him away with his good hand to create some distance between them as the tears rolled down his face. "I just... I just can't! I'm sorry Chris, but I'm not letting someone else get hurt."

Chris watched frozen to the spot as the obviously distraught man fled, disappearing down the corridor they'd just walked down before turning the corner out of his line of sight. Letting out the breath that he hadn't realised he'd been holding, Chris leaned back against the wall that Alex himself had been trapped against mere moments beforehand, running a hand through his hair.

His instinct to go and find Alex and see how he was was warring with letting the upset man calm down and relax. At that moment in time, Chris knew exactly which one of the two he wanted to do, but just remembering the fear in Alex's eyes as Chris touched him or went near him was enough for him to fight his desire. He utterly despised the idea of hurting Alex, and if keeping a little bit of distance for the next couple of hours until Alex had recovered from his breakdown was what it took to make Alex feel better, then Chris was willing to go against the concern now twisting his stomach into knots and oblige him, even if it did crush him completely.

Either way, the cogs in Chris' head were now running at full speed, and the intensity of Alex's reactions and words to what Chris was trying to do seemed to point all of Chris' ideas into one direction. Alex needed his help, no matter how much Alex denied that to be true, and he needed that help now before he got hurt any worse than he already had been though. How he planned on doing that, Chris hadn't entirely worked out yet, but he needed to do something. Alex needed him, and he wasn't going to let him go.

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><p>The hot water rained down on Alex's body as he let out a shaky sigh. Showers were usually one of the ways he found of actually helping him to calm down after a particularly stressful or upsetting moment, and as much as it pained him to admit it, the confrontation with Chris had been both. He knew Chris was only trying to help him, but Alex couldn't have his help. He couldn't have anybody's help. He knew exctly what asking for help would mean for him, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to physically or mentally survive another vicious beating at <em>his<em> hands.

He'd set the water boiling hot before he'd stepped under the shower, the bruises and welts on his body immediately screaming out in protest as burning drops ran down every ridge and dip on his skin before disappearing down the drain. He realised that it was probably rather perverse of him to get some sort of pleasure out of the pain that was now blistering through his body, but he couldn't help it; it was a change of pace for him to be able to decide when he got to be able to control the level of hurt that he was made to feel, and that little bit of freedom was something he utterly craved in his current situation.

His hand and his ribs were throbbing in agony as Alex bent and twisted like he normally would, not really caring for the trainers advice as he grabbed a washcloth and his bottle of shower gel. As much as the pain killed him, he had to pretend that everything was normal. If _he_ got wind of any kind of weakness, then Alex knew that _he_ would have no shame in taking advantage of it, in inflicting major damage under the knowledge that Alex couldn't fight back. Not that he ever did of course, but it was just something else that would give _him_ the control he wanted over Alex, and Alex would be damned if he was going to give it to _him_ willingly.

Alex tensed instinctively when he heard the door slam shut and he heard the click of the lock falling into place. _He_ was here.

Desperately trying to keep himself calm, Alex attempted to continue his wash, but as the sound of heavy footsteps came closer to the shower, his hands began to shake with fear so much that he ended up dropping the cloth he was using. The tension in his shoulders came back, and as he looked down at the darkening bruises that seemed to cover every inch of his ribs and his horribly swollen hand, Alex had no idea how he was going to be able to cover the damage to prevent _him_ from finding out.

Alex flinched violently when arms wrapped themselves possessively around his waist and the heat of another body drenched his damp skin. _He_ began to bite down the length of his neck, not caring whatsoever for Alex's hisses of pain as _his_ teeth sunk deeply into the already marked flesh. Alex felt him grind his hips forward into Alex's ass, and the insistent hardness that was pressing against his lower back was enough to make Alex feel intensely sick.

"Where the hell have you been Alex? I've been trying to find you all morning, and you weren't waiting for me where I told you to."

_His_ voice had dropped to a malevolent, sinister whisper as _his_ fingertips dug in hard around Alex's abdomen, and Alex froze in fear when he realised that there was no where he could tell _him_ he'd been without incurring some sort of punishment. He certainly couldn't breathe a word of going to see the trainers, or of being with Chris all morning; disobeying _his_ orders like that would signal a brutal beating for him, and Alex didn't think he could physically last through yet another one after the viciousness that had been inflicted upon him the night before.

When Alex hadn't answered his question after a couple of minutes, his patience began to wear thin, and he pushed Alex up against the wall roughly, smiling when he heard Alex gasp in pain as his ribs were pressed hard against the tiles, his injured hand trapped between his body and the wall.

"Answer my fucking question Alex, where the fuck have you been this morning?"

Tears of pain and panic began to well in Alex's eyes once more as he desperately attempted to think of an excuse. "I've been in here all morning, I've not been anywhere else."

Alex hadn't even gotten the last of his words out before _he_ fisted _his_ hand into his hair, yanking his head back onto _his_ shoulder before _he_ snarled into his ear venomously.

"You're a lying slut Alex. You went to see the trainer, didn't you?"

When Alex tried to shake his head in disagreement, he slammed his face forward into the tiles hard, Alex instantly feeling nauseous from the blow as the tears he'd been trying to held back began to stream down his face.

"LIAR! And do you know how I know you're fucking lying to me? Because there's a bandage sitting out there on the bench, and the tape is still sticky. Now, you will tell me the goddamn truth this time, or so help be god I'm going to fucking break every bone in your fucking worthless body. What's the wrap for, huh?"

Alex whimpered in terror when _he_ pulled his head back once more, waiting for the perfect excuse to smash his face back into the wall, and Alex could barely answer _his_ question as he sobbed in pain.

"It's for my hand, I've broken my hand," he cried out desperately, praying that _he_ would believe him.

"Is it really? Now how did you manage to break your hand Alex? Someone get too rough with you when you were whoring yourself out like the slut you are?"

"Wrestli-"

Alex hadn't even finished his sentence before _he_ spun him round, pushing him back first into the wall. Reaching out _his_ hand, _he_ delivered a stinging slap to Alex's already bruised cheek, _his_ eyes blistering with fury as _he_ shoved Alex down to his knees, watching with a sickening level of glee as Alex shook and trembled at _his_ feet. Tears continued to stream down Alex's face as he let out a hiccuped sob of agony, his eyes lowered to the floor as the boiling hot water rained down over him.

"What the fuck did I just say about lying, you stupid cunt?" _He_ seethed at Alex, kicking him straight in the ribs as hard as _he_ could manage in such a small space.

Alex screamed in pain, doubling over as he cradled his ribs tightly. It felt like someone had just stabbed him in the chest, and he instinctively cowered in fear when _his_ hand wound itself tight into his hair, yanking his head up forcefully to make Alex look at _him_. The pain and fear written all over his face was absolutely delicious, and _he_ gave him a solid knee to the chest, watching the way Alex's body buckled back into the wall as he tried to take the impact of the shot as best he could considering his injuries.

"There's only one thing that pathetic whores like you are any good for." _He_ smirked sinisterly, taking another step forward towards Alex. As _he_ did so, _his_ erection stood proudly in front of Alex's bruised face, and Alex felt a wave of humiliation and despair run through him at the sight. Moving _his_ hand down to cup Alex's jaw, _he_ squeezed hard, trying to get Alex to open his mouth; Alex refused to, and this just seemed to make _him_ even angrier than _he_ already was.

Kicking Alex in the stomach again, _he_ waited until Alex leaned forward, putting both hands on the ground to support himself, before _he_ put _his_ foot over Alex's broken hand. _He_ put all of the pressure on the ball of _his_ foot as _he_ stood as hard as _he_ could on Alex's hand, the pressure only increasing the longer it took Alex to open his mouth to scream in pain.

Alex felt like he was going to pass out as he bit the inside of his lip, desperately to stop himself from calling out in pain, knowing exactly what would happen the moment he did so. It was a valiant effort, but then as _he_ lifted his foot up to stamp on his hand with every bit of strength _he_ could muster, Alex could no longer restrain himself as his face twisted in agony, the tears streaming almost hysterically down his face as he let his mouth finally fall open. The second Alex's mouth opened, _he_ smirked in victory before forcing _his_ cock between Alex's lips.

"If you even dare to think about biting, I'm going to make you wish you'd never been fucking born, understand?"

Alex nodded his head as best as he could considering the hand wrapped in his hair and the cock now inside his mouth, and he couldn't help but feel sick from the shame as _he_ started to fuck his mouth, _his_ hips mouthing at a fast and deep rhythm as _he_ forced _his_ cock viciously as far into Alex's mouth as it would go. As he rammed his cock as hard as possible into Alex's abused mouth and throat, Alex couldn't help but gag as the tip hit the back of his throat, making him feel like he was going to suffocate.

As _he_ groaned and moaned crudely above him, the ripple of humiliation and shame running through Alex only became stronger as both of _his_ hands cupped the back of Alex's neck, pulling him forward forcefully into each hard thrust. Alex screwed his eyes shut, desperately trying to disconnect himself from the real world as _he_ fucked his mouth and throat violently, but it didn't work as Alex began to choke and splutter around the erection ramming into his face.

It seemed as if it would ever end, but after a few minutes, the hand gripping the back of his neck tightened to an almost painful level. He felt the cock between his lips throb for a split second before _he_ let out a low moan as _he_ released, continuing to force _his_ erection as far down Alex's throat as it would go as _he_ fucked indulgently through _his_ climax.

Giving himself a few minutes to calm down, _he_ pulled _his_ softening cock out of Alex's mouth, watching the almost hysterical tears of pain and shame run down Alex's face. Yanking Alex's head up as hard as he could, _he_ glared down at him, a menacing smirk painted across _his_ lips. Alex shuddered, before tensing up in disgust as he swallowed down every drop of _his_ cum, the bitterness making him feel rather sick. _He_ seemed particularly happy at this, ruffling Alex's hair in the most condescending manner possible before stepping back and turning the water off that had been streaming down over the two of them the entire time.

"You've got 5 minutes," _he_ remarked sinisterly. "If you aren't outside of this room, I will come back in here, and trust me, you won't like what I will be forced to do to you."

Alex shook at the explicit threat in _his_ words before he shifted slightly to lean back against the rapidly cooling tiles. His injured hand pulsed in sheer agony as he cradled it to his chest, and he let out a hiss of pain as he tried to bend his fingers finding it impossible to do so. Wiping his other hand across his lips in a desperate attempt to get rid of _his_ taste, Alex wasn't surprised when his hand came back bloody, his lip being re-split open from the intensity of his movements.

Giving a sigh, Alex let out a hiccuped sob as his vision blurred under the tears that were still falling. Why would Chris want to save him now?


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So, I'm really sorry for the slight delay in getting this up! I'm having to work off of a college laptop for the time being whilst mine is being repaired again! Hopefully though, you'll all enjoy this :)**

**Once again, any and all reviews are definitely appreciated. Not feeling very much love here :(**

**Depressingly, I will never own either of the Machine Guns or anyone else who randomly decides to pop thr heads up :(**

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><p>Chris tapped his foot impatiently, letting out a sigh as he glanced back down at his watch again. He was getting sick of the sight of white, and he was starting to become convinced that if he had to listen to any more cheery nurses or obscure music channels, he was going to end up screaming his head off.<p>

It certainly hadn't been his plan of action today to end up being stuck in the hospital for hours on end; it wasn't one he was planning on repeating again anytime soon either. He had tried to stop Alex from wrestling that morning in their match, his concern over Alex's broken hand mounting when he saw the fresh bruises and swelling from underneath a very haphazardly wrapped bandage, but Alex wouldn't hear any of it.

The match had started off reasonably normal; things were going to the way they were supposed to, and there hadn't been any major screw ups to speak of. The Guns were fighting Beer Money in what was pretty much one of their picture perfect matches. It was a physical fight; it always was when they went toe to toe, and all of them were starting to run on pure adrenaline as exhaustion took over. However, as the time went on, Chris found his eyes increasingly being drawn to Alex.

He'd noticed the way that Alex was starting to cradle his ribs during the course of the match, almost as if he was trying to cover for an injury that he might of sustained; Alex was never one to stop a match for a little bit of pain. He was one stubborn bastard, and he wouldn't stop until either the crowd had left happy, or until he'd literally dropped in the middle of the ring. Unfortunately, one of those had happened, and that was why he was now sitting up the hospital, getting more and more agitated and bored as the time went on.

Chris' concern for Alex's welfare during the match had only been getting stronger and stronger, especially when he finally got a close enough look at Alex's face to notice the intensity of the pain that was scrawled all over his expression. When his eyes had met Chris', Chris could have sworn that his heart stopped beating in his chest from the desperation that flashed through Alex's eyes. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but in the ring at that moment in time, and that was something that he'd never seen in Alex in his entire life.

However, before Chris had time to ask Alex how he was, Alex turned around into a fierce Gutbuster by Storm, and that had been it. The look of sheer agony that was on Alex's face as Storm's knee drove into his ribs full force was enough to make Chris wince, and Chris' fear of a serious injury had only increased when he had the sharp whimper of pain that Alex let out. On his knees in the middle of the ring, his head pressed to the canvas and his arms wrapped tight around his midsection, Alex looked the true definition of hurt and misery, and the referee had had no choice but to call the rest of the match off.

The second the bell had rung, Chris had ducked straight into the ring, dropping to his knees by Alex's side and placing his hand softly on his back. Alex had instantly flinched from the contact, which only seemed to make the pain running through him even worse as he let out a half choked dry sob, and Chris couldn't help but feel worried about the extent of the damage inflicted.

That worry had been made a hell of a lot worse when Chris had gone to snake his hand underneath Alex's t-shirt - why the hell Alex was wearing a t-shirt to wrestle in, he didn't know - and it had ridden up his back. There, wrapped around his sides and across the base of his spine, were some of the most vicious bruises that Chris had ever seen, and he was horrified when he quickly realised that there was no way they could have been caused by the hit that Alex had taken. They had to be at least a couple of days old, and the knowledge that Alex hadn't wrestled in that time was enough to make the slowly boiling anger and concern in Chris' stomach heat up even more.

Eventually, the trainer had come down to the ring to check Alex over, and when he'd finally been able to roll Alex onto his back so that he could get a proper look at him, the extent of the deep purple marks and welts that covered Alex's ribs and abdomen had become clear. Chris hadn't even been able to hold back the gasp that he'd let out upon seeing them, and as he stared up into Alex's tear-shot eyes, he'd seen the pleading and the sheer panic in his gaze. It was almost like Alex was begging him not to pay any attention to them, not to question how they got there or who was the cause of them.

Chris hadn't been able to say anything to Alex whilst they were in the ring; there was no way Chris could possibly humliate Alex by asking him those sorts of personal questions in the middle of a packed Impact Zone. Instead, Chris had settled for reaching out and gently grasping Alex's uninjured hand. Alex had initially jumped from the contact, but as the trainer had begun to prod and poke at his seriously hurt ribs, Chris had given a faint, wistful smile at the way Alex seemed to want to cling onto him, his fingers instinctively lacing through Chris' as he squeezed his hand extremely tight in an attempt to alleviate his pain somewhat. Chris had sworn pretty damn loudly from the tightness of the grip, but that was totally worth the rush of warmth and protectiveness that he felt surge through him from the intimacy of the touch.

Eventually, after a few tense and painful minutes, the trainer had decided that it would be better for Alex to go get checked out at the nearest hospital, just to eliminate the possibility of a further, more major injury. Alex had initally protested vehemently, practically begging not to go, saying that he couldn't deal with it happening again, with what would happen to him if _he _found out. What 'it' or _'he'_ was, Chris had been trying to decipher ever since, and the conclusion that he'd come to after hours of careful thinking and the pulling together of all of the evidence had been enough for him to want to punch a wall himself out of blistering anger and frustration.

It had practically tortured Chris going back over every tiny detail of their confrontation that ended with Alex running away from him with tears streaming down his face, but Chris found that he had no choice but to constantly revisit it in his attempts to try and work out exactly what was going on. It had stuck in his head though, the words that Alex had uttered before he had fled about not wanting anyone else to get hurt, and it was that which had formed the basis for much of his renewed thoughts about the whole situation.

It had become obvious to Chris over the past couple of days that Alex was obviously getting hurt, and badly. He'd never seen Alex anywhere close to the wretched state that he was in, and it pained him desperately not to know what was causing his best friend such a hard time. He'd decided over the course of his unpicking and evidence gathering that Alex obviously needed his help, even if he was too proud or too stupid to admit to it, and Chris didn't care what he'd have to do to prove to Alex that he was worth every bit of helping that Chris thought he was.

Chris' thoughts were broken by the sight of Alex limping down the corridor towards him, doctor in tow, and Chris had never seen Alex looking as miserable and depressed as he did in that single moment. The bruising on his face and neck had properly come out now, and just looking at them made Chris' blood boil, even if he had no real proof as to where they'd come from.

The horribly dark crcles under Alex's eyes had gotten worse too, and Chris found himself sorely tempted to invite Alex back to his room just so that Alex could get the sleep he'd apparently been missing out on. Of course, if he ever did that, he'd knew that he'd end up just sitting on the bed next to him, gazing at Alex longingly whilst he slept and torturing himself with his introspection about the state of his feelings for him, but that would be a price worth paying just to see Alex calm and relaxed again.

Alex very carefully lowered himself down into the seat next to Chris, letting out a sharp hiss of pain as he did so, and Chris immediately turned to look over him. Alex's shirt was bundled up in his hands, the bruises and welts that he'd tried so desperately to cover fully exposed, and Chris couldn't help but wince at the state of them. Whatever - or whoever, he thought rather angrily - had been the cause of them had clearly been violent. Alex refused to make eye contact with Chris, too ashamed and sickened about the prospect of answering the questions he knew must of been buzzing around Chris' head to even want to take the risk.

Chris slowly reached out his arm, attempting not to startle Alex as he put his hand down on his thigh, gently running it down his leg to rest on his knee. Alex tensed, and his breathing had picked up speed quite dramatically, something which only served to increase Chris' worry even more than it already was, but after a few moments of soft stroking, Alex began to visibly calm - well, as much as he could anyway, which wasn't very much at all.

The silence between them was utterly deafening, but Chris refused to break it with the million and one questions that he was desperate to ask; this was neither the time or the place to be asking such personal things, considering the nature of the conversation that would end up taking place, and he didn't want Alex to get worked up again, especially when he was as injured as he was. They'd have to wait for another time, when Chris was sure that he could get Alex to stay with him for the duration and not flee again; sooner rather than later was his ideal plan, but he knew it would entirely depend on Alex and when he was ready to talk, and Chris was content to leave it that way. He cared way too much to reduce him to the wreck he had done before; he was still crushed that he even had it in him to apparently hurt Alex that way.

Alex, however, was almost wishing that Chris would break the silence. He knew that Chris had questions, and he knew for a fact that Chris knew he was holding something back from him. After he'd calmed down from _his _assault the day before, Alex had time to think, and he'd realised exactly what Chris was attempting with his confrontation. Whilst a small part of him felt touched that somebody actually seemed to care for him and his welfare, a larger part of him was too scared of his intentions to be able to fully trust him; despite how much Alex knew Chris would never hurt him, he'd always thought that _he _wouldn't hurt him either, and look at where that had gotten him.

Chris watched Alex out of the corner of his eye, disconcerted but not at all surprised by his uncharacteristic silence. It was almost driving him insane, but if anyone was to break the quiet between them, it had to be Alex, he'd decided. There was no way that Chris would be able to make small talk with the sheer volume of questions that he'd inevitably blurt out, and he certainly didn't want to force Alex into the position he had done the last time they had tried to talk.

Unfortunately, it appeared that Alex was happy enough to keep things the way they were.

The doctor that had accompanied Alex beforehand poked his head around the corner, calling Alex's name. Alex tensed up in worry, almost unable to push himself out his seat for the fear that was beginning to roil in his gut; Chris heard him let out a deep, shaky sigh to calm himself before he finally stood up, cradling his ribs tightly as he let out a hiss of pain. Chris immediately stood up, placing his hand softly on the base of Alex's back to guide him to the room; Alex's pain must have been pretty damn bad, Chris thought sadly, as he didn't even flinch away from Chris' touch like he had done everytime previously.

As they walked through the door, the doctor gestured to the bed, and Alex carefully slid himself onto it, his back flat against the wall as a harsh wave of pain ran through him. Chris propped himself up next to Alex, his eyes naturally drawn to the deep black and purple bruises that covered almost every inch of his ribs. The more he stared at them, the worse his fear and concern became, but he couldn't keep his eyes away from the vicious looking marks; Chris' ribs almost began to throb out of sympathy, and when Alex coughed, he winced at the sharp intake of breath Alex took as his eyes drifted shut from the agony.

The doctor cleared his throat, before walking over to his desk and retrieving an x-ray film that he proceeded to hold up against the light box. Turning away from the image, he raised an eyebrow questioningly at Alex.

"So, how did you say that you'd injured yourself again?"

Chris saw Alex freeze out of the corner of his eye, his shoulders tight with tension as he kept his eyes to the floor, unable to answer. After a few moments of silence, Chris reached out a hand to rest it gently on Alex's shoulder, giving a reassuring squeeze when Alex flinched.

"He was wrestling and he took a nasty shot to the ribs. Why d'you ask?"

The doctor looked over Alex's extremely nervous form before pointing a finger to several different points on the x-ray. It was clearly obvious to Chris that there had been some serious damage done; the lines of the bones didn't join together the way they probably should have, and there were some faded grey patches that stood out to him as well. He certainly wasn't no medic, but anyone could tell that Alex had hurt himself, and pretty badly at that.

"Well," the doctor started, "he has what is very clearly some cracked ribs on his left hand side. However, these don't look like they were caused by the impact of the hit in the ring. The breaks are too deep; they have to be at least a few days old, possibly even older. And if you look here," he pointed at an entirely different part of the film, and when Chris squinted he could just about make out some faint lines. "I'm almost certain that these are old breaks that haven't healed up properly. Either you didn't do what you were told to do when it came to rehabilitating them, or you never sought medical help when you did them."

Alex was starting to shake now, his heart exploding through his chest from the inquiring stares that both Chris and the doctor were throwing his way. He went to try and answer, but his words got caught in his throat, and he had to take a deep breath to regain what little composure he had left.

"I...I hurt them before in a match, but the pain wasn't too bad, so I ignored it."

Alex's voice was quiet and uneven, but the lie slipped smoothly off of his tongue as he dared a look up into Chris' eyes. He knew when he'd gotten them, and they most certainly weren't from a match. Alex had done something to anger _him _majorly, and _he'd_ continously hit him so damn hard in the ribs with a piece of wood _he'd_ broken off the bed before throwing a chair at him that Alex had passed out from the intensity of the pain. When he'd finally awoken, _he _had kicked him square in the face, telling him that if he even dared to tell a soul, _he'd_ make him pay with blood. Even remembering the violent threat made Alex seize up in terror, and it wasn't until he heard Chris softly call his name that he snapped out of it, shaking in fear as tears welled in his eyes.

"Alex, dude? You okay, you look like you're going to be sick or something."

Alex shut his eyes, desperately willing down the tears he could feel there. As Chris' fingers softly stroked the length of his collarbone, Alex tried to force a small smile on his face; Chris didn't have the heart to tell him he was failing miserably, and he added Alex's reaction to the list of things he was going to question him about when he finally got Alex alone to talk to him.

"Yeah I'm fine dude, just thinking how much of an idiot I am sometimes."

The doctor shook his head with a grin, before sitting down at his desk to finish filling in a prescription he'd previously started to write before they'd entered the room.

"Well, I can't help but agree with that to be perfectly honest with you. You were very lucky today; with the state of your ribs as they were when you started the match, you could've done some pretty severe damage if the move had been hit slightly harder. Unfortunately, there's not much we can do for broken ribs, so I'm going to give you a prescription for some painkillers, and I want you to limit any exercise for at least the next 2 weeks until the bruising has gone down. Is that okay with you?"

Alex shook his head stiffly, before sliding himself off of the bed extremely carefully. He pulled his t-shirt back on, hissing when he had to stretch his arms up in the air to thread them both in, before he made his way to the door. Chris followed close behind him, his hand still clasping Alex's shoulder as he thanked the doctor. Once the door had closed, Chris saw the way that Alex briefly froze, leaning back against the wall slightly as he wiped a hand down his face. Alex bit his lip, and Chris could feel the fear and the panic that was coming off of him in thick waves; he was almost dying to ask Alex what was going on, but he still couldn't. However, as he thought about it, he realised there was a place that he could talk to Alex where Alex couldn't flee on him, and that it would only take 5 minutes to get there.

They slowly started back down the corridor towards the entrance, Chris' arm still draped over Alex's shoulder as Alex limped pathetically, the pain in his ribs reaching levels of near agony from all of the prodding and moving he'd been forced to do. Crossing the hosptial lobby, Chris saw the way that Alex tensed up, his eyes darting everywhere around the room like he was scared or nervous about something; that had become a major habit of his recently. If there was anywhere where it looked like someone they knew could possibly spot them together, Alex usually ended up reaching the point of near panic until they'd moved out of sight of everyone, and even then, it took a hell of a lot longer than that before he could start to relax even in the slightest.

As the doors slid open, little spots of rain began to hit them both in the face as they made their way towards Chris' car. Alex sighed rather depressingly; it always seemed to rain at the moment. Finally, the weather was starting to get somewhere close to reflecting how he felt on the inside. Just add in a few flashes of lightning and some thunder, and it'd be about half way there, he thought sadly. It took a while to finally reach the car; Alex's ribs were making it hard for him to take even a few steps at a time without having to pause to try and let the wave of pain rush over him, but Chris was content to let him take as much time as he needed. He couldn't stand the thought of Alex's injury getting worse because of anything he attempted to do, so he just kept his arm around his shoulders, his hand occasionally drifting down to rub the top of his back softly.

Reaching the car, Chris opened the door for Alex, letting him slide into the car as carefully as possible before going round to his own side and getting in. The second the doors had been slammed shut, a suffocating silence descended. Alex's eyes slipped shut, his hands shaking slightly as he ran one of them over his face, wiping away the rain that had hit him; he didn't notice that Chris was staring straight at him, concern written all over him as he put the key in the ignition. Suddenly, the quiet was broken by the roar of the engine spluttering into life, and Chris would have laughed at the way Alex jumped in surprise if he wasn't so worried about the state of his ribs.

Pulling out of the hospital car park, Chris could barely focus on the road, his attention always being drawn to Alex to make sure he was okay. Rather annoyingly, the radio in the car wasn't working, and that did nothing to alleviate the tension inside the vehicle; usually, Chris would have whacked on some random channel, and they'd both be rocking out to whatever tunes were on. That was something that Alex still did when they were together, regardless of what else was happening; music had that uplifting effect on them both, and it was extremely unhelpful that Chris couldn't utilise it to calm Alex down before he continued his questioning from the day before.

Stopping at a traffic light, Chris cleared his throat nervously, his fingers tapping an unidentified rhythm against the steering wheel as he continued to stare at the road ahead of them.

"So, you never told me about your ribs hurting after our match. Have you seriously reached the point of permanent highness that you're impervious to pain?"

Chris let out a slight chuckle, hoping that his joke would get Alex to respond; unfortunately, Alex didn't seem to care for Chris' attempts at humor. His eyes fell to the floor as he cradled his arms around his ribs protectively, desperately trying to think of an excuse. After a few moments of silence, Chris decided to take a daring step in trying to get Alex to talk.

"Why do I get the impression that those weren't done in the ring? In fact, I'm wondering if they got done by the same person who decided to bruise your face and neck up all nice."

Turning to look over at Alex, Chris knew he'd hit along the right sort of lines when Alex froze, his eyes widened with panic as the tension flooded back through him. Chris went to reach his hand out to rest it on Alex's knee, but he noticed the way that Alex pushed himself further back into his seat, curling in on himself slightly as tremors ran through his body, and he decided not to, choosing instead to rest his hand on the gearstick. Alex's reaction to his answer was just confirming the fragile suspicions, and the anger that was flowing through him started to roil in his gut, his grip on the gear knob tightening to near impossible levels.

"Who did it, Alex?"

Chris' voice was quiet and controlled, but Alex could hear the underline worry and rage in it, and he couldn't help but shift in his seat, trying to put some more distance between himself and Chris; he really didn't want to. If he'd had his own way, he'd be doing the exact opposite, but all he could hear was his voice in _his _head, and it reminded him of everything that would happen to him if he dared breathe a word to anyone about what had been going on. His stomach twisting up into knots, he lowered his gaze as he replied, panic and desperation clear in his words.

"Nobody."

Chris immediately let out a deep breath, his concern warring with his growing anger at Alex's deliberate lie. Shaking his head slightly, he let out a harsh laugh that made Alex tense up in fear, before he turned to look at Alex.

"Right. Let's try that again, shall we? Why the hell won't you give me a straight answer and just tell me who did it, huh Alex?"

Alex gave a shudder of terror, Chris suddenly being replaced by mental images of _him _sitting there in Chris' place, interrogating his every little action and response, and he started to visibly shake, his voice uneven and thick with fear as he eventually stuttered out a reply.

"No...Nobo-"

"Bullshit Alex!"

Chris' patience had completely evaporated as he slammed his hand down hard on the dashboard, making Alex flinch violently at the sound, his breath becoming shallow and fast as his shaking got worse. Not even bothering to look over at Alex, Chris finally put his foot on the accelerator, turning down a road before throwing the car into park next to a wall. Pulling the keys out of the ignition roughly, Chris turned to glare at Alex, his anger completely blinding him to how badly Alex was reacting to his sudden outburst of rage.

"I don't know what the fuck you think you're trying to achieve by fucking lie to me, but I'm telling you now it's not going to fucking work dude!" Chris threw his arms up in the air, his hands instinctively balling up into fists as he ranted. "Now, why the fuck don't you enlighten me to whoever this fucking bastard is, because I know that something is fucking happening Alex, and it's fucking pissing me off that you're lying to my fucking face about! What the fuck is-"

It was only the sound of Alex's whimpers that brought Chris out of his raving, and confusion rushed straight over him at the sight that greeted him. Alex's knees were bent up to his chest, his arms wrapped over his head as he cowered with fear. He was shaking viciously, and Chris could hear him faintly begging under his breath, his panicked pleading broken by half choked sobs of terror.

Chris cocked his head at Alex, slowly coming back to himself as he lowered his arms back down into his lip, a sudden influx of concern hitting him square in the face. Looking down at his hands, he cursed loudly, annoyed at himself. His right hand was balled tight into a fist, and as he uncurled his fingers, he saw the little crescent shaped indents on his palm. His gaze shooting between his hands and Alex, he let out a sigh, suddenly realising what was wrong.

He'd gotten angry. He'd accused Alex of lying to him, and then raised a fist to him, basically threatening to hit him for what he was saying. He had absolutely no idea how bad that must of appeared to Alex, and he now understood why Alex had reacted the way he had done. It was instinct; it was self defense and a pitiful attempt to try and protect himself from what he thought was coming. As Chris realised this, guilt began to burn deep in his stomach as he finally came to the conclusion about what was happening with Alex.

Reaching out his hand, he went to rest it on Alex's back, but as his fingertips brushed Alex's t-shirt, Alex flinched violently, letting out a strangled sob as his continued to beg and plead for forgiveness, desperately whispering that he would do better in future, that he wouldn't disobey _him _anymore; Chris knew instantly who that _him _was, and the reality that he was right in one of his main fears did nothing but make a wave of somber concern wash over him.

If he was perfectly honest, it depressed and angered the fuck out of him too; to a tiny extent, it almost felt like a form of rejection to him, which he didn't undertsand in the slightest. However, there was a sharp stab of pain that went straight through his chest, that usually only happened when he knew that the person he liked wasn't interested in him; he chastised himself angrily. This wasn't the time for him to feel petty jealousy or irritation at emphatically being told that his hopes were temporarily dashed. This was the time to soothe and comfort his best friend, and that would always take priority over his slightly damaged feelings.

Trying again, Chris rested his hand softly on the top of Alex's back between his shoulder blades, feeling the way that Alex tensed in fear as he continued to shake violently. His breathing had sped right up, and Chris was almost convinced that if Alex didn't calm down soon, he was going to end up hyperventilating and panicking to the point of passing out.

"Alex?"

Chris' voice was tentative and quiet, trying not to startle Alex in any way as he slowly began to rub his upper back reassuringly. Alex didn't relax back into his touch like he had done over the past couple of days when they'd been alone together, and that in turn just increased Chris' guilt and anger at himself for doing such a stupid, thoughtless action. Letting out a sigh, Chris tried a different tact, desperate for Alex to show him any sign of recognising him.

"Alex, it's me. You're in my old, clapped out car on the side of the road somewhere in Orlando because you fucked your ribs up during our match; I can't remember where we are exactly though, so don't ask. Whoever _he _is, _he's_ not here, okay? It's just you and me, alright? Just you and me."

Chris kept repeating it like it was a chant, desperately hoping that Alex would calm down slightly and realise that he wasn't lying to him. When Alex uncurled just enough to turn his head to face Chris, Chris went to let out a sigh of relief, but he couldn't the second that Alex's eyes met his own.

Alex's eyes were red and bloodshot, his face blotchy and damp as tears continued to roll down his cheeks, slowly starting to stop when he realised that it wasn't _him _in the car. Blinking a couple of times, _his _image dissolved from in front of him, and he could finally see Chris properly for the first time since he'd started talking to him nearly 10 minutes before. His gaze darted around the car, unable to relax just yet whilst he was so over-emotional and freaked out, but when he saw that Chris wasn't lying to him, he lifted his head off of his knees, carefully unfolding himself as he let his feet touch the car floor. He let out a sharp hiss of pain as his ribs throbbed from the movement, and Chris immediately picked up on it, continuing to rub his back softly as he slowly allowed himself to sink back into reality.

"Dude, you've gotta learn to be a bit more careful, or we're gonna end up straight back in that hospital before the end of the day, and I for one am bored fucking shitless of that stupid place."

Chris let out a hollow chuckle, trying to ease Alex's fear slightly; when it didn't work, he dropped his eyes down to the floor, his hand stopping its gentle movements on Alex's back.

"I'm really sorry man. I guess... I just wasn't thinking. I know that there's something going on, and it just kinda annoyed me that you won't tell me who's doing any of this to you, but that's no excuse for the way I acted. All I want you to finally realise is that I care about you dude, and I hate the fact that someone's obviously beating ten tons of shit out of you when I can't dive in there and give them that same beating right back for hurting you."

Chris let out a sigh, noticing the way that Alex was slowly starting to relax as he talked, and he took a major risk of letting his hand softly run from his back around to the side of his face, before turning his head so that he was looking straight at Chris. Alex tried to drop his gaze to the floor, letting out an slight hiccup, but Chris wouldn't let him, his fingertips curled underneath his chin softly. In a rare moment of intimacy, Chris wiped his thumb delicately over Alex's left cheek, being extremely careful of the bruise that was still developing on his jaw as he leaned in, wrapping his other arm around Alex awkwardly in a half hug over the gearstick.

Alex initially tensed up, but after a few minutes, he relaxed ever so slightly, his arms creeping around Chris as much as Alex felt comfortable allowing; Chris felt rather content at this, knowing that Alex was still quite desperately vulnerable from his breakdown to risk going any further than this, and after giving him a soft squeeze, he drew his arms back. Sitting back in his chair, he allowed himself to gaze right over Alex's body before he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Look Alex, I know you're probably not the fondest of me right now, but a few of us are heading to the hotel bar tonight for some drinks. It'll literally just be me, Storm, Roode and Jay. We'd sure like it if you could make it; it's been forever since you last came for drinks, and although I now have a pretty good reason for exactly why that is, we've missed having you around. It doesn't have to be for long, just a couple of quick drinks and a little bit of down time, that's all I'm asking for, okay?"

Chris held his breath when Alex froze up on him, hoping that he wasn't pushing his luck after everything he'd done to Alex over the past half an hour or so, so when Alex turned to look at him, worrying his lip between his bottom teeth, he wasn't holding out much hope for a positive answer.

"I don't know. I want to, but if _he_... I can't risk it. If _he _finds out, _he'll_... especially with you."

Chris let out a sad sigh at Alex's whispered ramblings; he was so damn proud of Alex for telling him as much as he had, even if he didn't mean it to come out, but he didn't want to risk Alex getting hurt anymore than he already had been. His broken hand and cracked ribs were one thing; he couldn't bear the idea of causing Alex anymore pain, even if it wasn't his fault.

"Look, if you don't want to, I understand completely, but all I'm saying is that if you get the opportunity to break away even for 20 minutes or so, you know exactly where to find me. And rest assured, I swear I won't let anything to happen to you whilst you're with me, okay?"

Chris couldn't help but grin when Alex nodded his head stiffly, giving Chris a faint, half smile before he relaxed back into his seat again, his eyes slipping shut as he cradled his ribs protectively. He still didn't feel okay; hell, he was still petrified out of skin by Chris and his unexpected actions, but if he had that invitation for safety and security amongst friends there, then he didn't care what he'd have to do to try and achieve it.

"Cool dude. Now," Chris began, putting the key back into the ignition and starting the car back up. "I guess we'd better get back to the Impact Zone. The trainer will flip the shit out if I don't return you for his inspection within the next hour or so, and we don't want to deal with that, believe me!"

Pulling back out into the lane, Chris drove down a little before rejoining the main road, one eye permanently fixed to Alex as he thought. He felt desperately angry and guilty with himself for what he had done; he couldn't even work out why he'd gotten so damn annoyed with Alex in the first place, but at least he'd been able to get some information out of him, albeit unwillingly.

Chris had no idea who this _'he'_ was that Alex kept mentioning, but he realised going back over previous conversations that they'd had that it wasn't the first time Alex had referred to _him_. Whoever _he _was, Chris was practically craving to find out; if they were the reason that Alex had descended into the horribly wretched and injured state that he was in, then _he _had absolute hell to pay.

Despite his want for inflicting hurt on whoever the fuck it was who'd obviously beeen beating up Alex, Chris couldn't let himself be too distracted by them; all of his attention and concern was totally caught up in Alex and what he'd implicitly revealed during his breakdown. The knowledge that Alex was in a relationship wasn't smarting as much as it did when he'd initially found out, but it still hurt.

He thought that it was rather childish and pathetic of himself to be jealous of somebody who apparently took great pleasure in beating the shit out of their boyfriend, but he couldn't help it. Just the thought that Chris would take so much better care of him, make him feel worshipped and adored exactly as he should be was enough to make a fierce rush of protectiveness and possessiveness run through him. Alex didn't deserve whoever _he _was, and Chris intended on letting him know that. Of course, he couldn't come straight out with it; after all, it wasn't like Alex had actually told him about what was happening, but he still hoped that Alex would one day, just so that he'd get the chance to tell him everything he thought about him.

Alex could feel one of Chris' eyes on him, and he sighed shallowly as he shifted about uneasily in his seat. He could almost feel the panic and fear building in his gut; he'd never intended to open his mouth and even utter a word about _him_, or what _he'd_ been doing to him, but the second Chris had lost his temper, Alex had found himself unable to do anything but cower in terror as memories of hundreds of beatings came flooding back to him.

Sure, a small part of him knew that none of it was Chris' fault; how was Chris to know what Alex's reaction would be? But still, a rather large chunk of Alex found it hard to trust Chris at that moment in time; he was scared of what Chris' intentions were, what he could end up doing to him in the future when he lost his temper, and the knowledge that he could've been mere seconds away from getting hit by his best friend were enough to make him feel sick with desperate worry and dread.

He was petrified of the only good and worthwhile thing he had left in his life descending into the utter hell that the rest of his existance had become; he couldn't bear to think of what he'd do if Chris turned against him in the same way that _he _had done less than a month into their relationship. Alex needed Chris. He needed that stability and friendship that he unwaveringly provided for him.

Chris' invitation suddenly flashed through his head. The idea of doing something to anger _him _and garner yet another beating was enough to honestly scare the shit out of Alex, especially considering the condition he was in; he wasn't sure if he'd be able to even survive more of _his _abuse, and he certainly didn't want to try and find out if he could.

However, as much as Alex didn't want to go, he was still desperate to take that chance to escape and forget about how miserable his life had become, even if it was only for half an hour or so. Chris had been right; it had been months since he'd let him go out, and even then, he'd come with him to make sure that he didn't get upto anything. He didn't want to be hovered over; he wanted that chance to have a little bit of freedom for once, to not worry about what _he _would do to him.

Chris' words from before blazed in front of his eyes, _"I swear I won't let anything to happen to you whilst you're with me." _As a rush of warmth and calmness ran though him at the remembered sincerity and depth of Chris' sentiment and protectiveness, Alex made his choice.

He didn't care what the fuck he had to do. He was going to go out and meet with Chris and the others. Alex just hoped that he wouldn't end up paying dearly for trying to embrace Chris' offer, but he knew that if he did, it would be worth it for just a small shred of time when things could be normal for the first time in 8 months.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So, in between my exams, I decided it would be a good idea to get the next chapter of this up. Hopefully, those of you who are reading this will enjoy it :)**

**Any and all reviews are definitely appreciated. I'm not feeling much love here, and it's kind of demotivating, but hopefully someone will be nice enough to give some feedback :)**

**As always, I will never own either of the Machine Guns, nor anyone else who randomly decides to pop their heads up into this fic :(**

**Enjoy guys! :)**

* * *

><p>"Hey Sabes, it's your round dude! Stop being a cheap motherfucker and go buy us some beers man!"<p>

Chris shook his head at Storm, rolling his eyes in an overally dramatic fashion as he let out a heavy sigh, determined to get some fun out of Storm's persistant begging for booze.

"I don't see why I have to get the next round. If you're that desperate to get pissed, go buy it yourself. I may be wearing some sweet ass gold around my waist, but I'm not made of money, I can't afford to keep buying all of you guys shit."

"Fuck you Sabin, I've paid for your ass tonight, you fucking owe me." Storm replied, his words half slurred as Roode and Lethal laughed at Storm's increasingly inebriated state. After a few moments of drunken glaring, Storm threw his arms up in the air in an equally over the top fashion. "Fuck it, if you want shit around here, you've got to fucking do it yourself."

Pushing himself out of his chair, Storm staggered awkwardly across the room, and Chris couldn't help but laugh when he half tripped over a bar stool, almost faceplanting against the bar as he tried to wave the bartender over. Shaking his head amusedly, he turned back to the rest of the table, not really paying much attention to the sorts of things that Roode and Lethal were coming out with.

It was nearly 9, and Chris could feel his hopes being dashed with every minute that ticked by. They'd all met up a couple of hours beforehand; well, Chris had arrived first, hoping that Alex would arrive early and that they'd get the chance to talk before the others pitched up, but that obviously hadn't gone to plan.

Now, Chris was starting to worry about Alex; he didn't want to think about whether Alex had to ask _him_ if he could come, and he certainly couldn't think about the prospect of something happening to Alex because of Chris' invitation. In fact, Chris was almost starting to regret inviting Alex along if it meant that Alex was having to risk getting his face punched in because of it.

He'd been paranoid ever since the car journey, desperately trying to think of everybody that he knew that Alex could possibly be referring to whenever he mentioned _him_, and he was starting to wonder now whether it was someone who could even be standing in front of him half the time. He didn't have anyway of knowing who _he_ was unless Alex told him or Chris saw something in progress, and he highly doubted the chances of either of those possibilities happening anytime soon.

As it was, since he'd entered the bar he was constantly looking around whenever the door opened; if it wasn't Alex walking in - which it hadn't been so far, much to Chris' dismay - then Chris had been analysing every detail about them and trying to deduce in his head the possibility of them being Alex's secretive and clearly abusive boyfriend. So far, he'd had absolutely no luck on either fronts, and it was starting to dishearten him as he picked up his beer bottle, draining the last of the suds as Storm eventually stumbled back over, 5 beers in hand.

It was annoying to him, because he'd always thought that no matter what happened to them, him and Alex would have each others backs and that they'd protect each other from anything bad that could potentially happen; whilst Chris was trying to make amends over the past couple of days for his lack of support, he still hadn't been there when Alex was obviously going through all of this. It could have been days, weeks, hell months even, and Chris hadn't been there to support Alex and ensure that he got through things; that was something that Chris could feel eating him up inside, and he hated himself for it.

Chris was brought out of his thoughts when Storm waved a bottle in front of his face childishly, pulling it back when Chris went to make a grab for it. He laughed drunkenly, one hand flat on the table to steady himself as he continued to act like an absolute asshole to everyone else sitting in on their get together; Lethal looked like he was seconds away from punching Storm square in the face, and Roode just sat there, unable to contain his major amusement at Storm's actions. Roode was use to it though, Chris thought logically, neither Lethal or him were, and if he was honest, Storm was beginning to get on his nerves something chronic.

Uncapping his beer, Chris took a sip, rather bored with Storm's attempts at humor. There was only one person he was truly desperate to see, and they hadn't turned up yet. Correction, Chris thought quite depressingly as concern flooded through him; they weren't going to turn up at all at this rate, and the idea that Alex could possibly be getting hurt all because of Chris' invitation of beer and some downtime for the first time in months was something that Chris couldn't bear in the slightest.

Roode's arm was wrapped around Storm's shoulders as they both stood up, Storm leaning right into Roode for stability as he continued to let out rough barks of laughter, and Chris couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy stab him right in the chest.

Nowadays, he couldn't even go within a few inches of Alex without Alex flinching and tensing up on him in sheer, unadulterated fear, and Chris resented the fact that he couldn't touch Alex or show him that same level of affection. To be perfectly honest with himself, Chris had always hoped he would be able to push his previously platonic affection to the next level of intimacy and deep friendship, but that didn't look like it was going to happen anytime soon, and that knowledge made Chris' gut twist and his heart clench rather painfully in his chest as he cocked an eyebrow at both men standing before him.

"I think it's about time that me and the ol' cowboy here disappeared before we get hit with another set of fees like last time," Roode joked, eliciting a smile from the others as they briefly reminisced about the time previously when Storm had gotten too pissed to even stand and accidently broke a door and a pool table. "We'll catch you next week dudes."

"Goodbye!" Storm suddenly exclaimed drunkenly, that stupidly cheery grin on his face, and Chris couldn't help but let out a chuckle as he shook his head.

"Yeah yeah, just get back up to your room in one piece. If any chicks go missing in the next half hour, we'll know where to look for them, isn't that right Jay?"

Jay nodded his head in immediate agreement as they both saw of Storm and Roode with grins on their faces. Looking up at the clock, Lethal downed the rest of his bottle of beer in one before wiping the back of his hand over his mouth.

"It's probably a good idea that I go as well, ya know? I've gotta be up at 2 for my flight home, and I don't think they'll let a drunk guy fly for some reason. I need my beauty sleep anyway; it takes work to look as good as me."

Jay winked at Chris jokingly as Chris burst into peals of laughter, the beer having that effect of slowly unwinding him from the less than pleasant reminders of the day. Huffing out a sigh, Chris briefly dropped his gaze to the table, and Jay couldn't help but pause for a few moments as he looked over Chris. There had been slightly off about him all night, and Jay just wanted to check that he wasn't about to leave him to wallow in a pit of self misery before he left.

"Hey Chris?" Chris stared up at Lethal as he took another swig of his beer. "Are you okay dude? You've seemed a bit quiet tonight, and you've done way too much staring off into space. I just want to check that nothing's bothering you or anything."

Oh, Chris had so many damn things on his mind that were bothering him, and all of them were related in some form or another to Alex, but Chris wasn't about to admit something like that to Jay. Giving him a smile, Chris shook his head, his voice light and cheery as he responded to the younger man.

"What, me? Nah, I'm totally cool dude, I was just trying not to get sucked into the eternal chasm that was Storm all night. I'm fine man, don't worry."

"Cool. Now, I'll see you on Monday man," Lethal replied happily, content with Chris' appearance of composure to even think about questioning it for a second, before he waved Chris off.

Waiting until Lethal had turned his back before letting his smile drop, Chris watched as Lethal made his way to the bar door, swaying slightly on his feet; he wasn't anywhere near as drunk as Storm was, but he still looked like he was having a bit of trouble walking in a straight line. Chris highly doubted that he'd be in the same position by the end of the night; despite being in the bar longer than anyone else, he'd drunk far less than the others. He'd wanted to keep his wits about him in case Alex turned up, but now he could see that that was a wasted exercise.

Or so he thought.

Less than a few minutes after Lethal had departed, the bar door was opened tentatively, and Chris couldn't help but let a half smile drift across his face as Alex nervously entered, his shoulders flooded with tension as his eyes scanned about the room, looking for Chris and the others that he'd thought would be with him. Upon noticing Chris, Alex dropped his gaze to the floor, and Chris could see Alex suck in a deep breath of courage as he slowly crossed the room towards the table, one arm cradled tight around his ribs.

As Alex came closer to the table, Chris could just about make out what looked like the start of a purpling bruise underneath his right eye that he was almost certain hadn't been there earlier, and all that did was make him feel even worse. He'd apparently gotten Alex hurt again, and even though he knew that logically it wasn't his fault, it didn't help the guilt beginning to swirl in his gut.

Alex stood next to Chris, his eyes lowered to the floor as he carefully ran his hands over his ribs, trying to stop the severe throbbing pain that was running through them. He didn't want to admit to Chris that he'd had to go through one fuck of a rough and violent sex session before he walked out of the door, but the agonising stabs of pain that were running straight through him were making it incredibly hard to disguise the level of violence he'd just had to go through to get here. Sure, it wasn't as bad as some of the assaults he'd been through, but considering the condition he was already in, it felt just as bad as the most violent beating _he_ could've mustered.

Running his fingers through his hair roughly, Chris ducked his head to meet Alex's gaze, waving his hand to try and grab his attention. He noticed the way that Alex was absolutely refusing to make eye contact with him, and he became convinced that Alex was still upset at him, that he hadn't forgiven him for acting the way he had towards him when he was in an obviously vulnerable state. Chris let out a sigh, trying to restrain himself from punching the table out of sheer aggravation.

"Dude, you can sit down you know, it's not like I'm going to bite you or anything."

Chris' jokey tone was enough to hide the amount of anger and misery he felt towards himself as he smiled fondly at Alex, but Alex couldn't return his affectionate gesture. He didn't even want to try to create some pitifully fake façade; he was self loathing over everything that had happened since he'd left Chris outside of his hotel room earlier, and try as he might, he didn't have the energy to pretend that he wasn't as upset as he was. Pulling out a chair, Alex slid into it as carefully as he could, letting out a small hiss of pain when his ribs ached from the action.

Chris watched quietly as Alex tried and failed to release the tension from his body, and as he put his hands up in the table, Chris couldn't help but worry when he saw just how badly Alex's hands were shaking. Alex lifted his head up to look rather blankly at the wall past Chris' shoulder, and Chris could see now that his suspicions were correct.

There, marring the skin just below Alex's right eye, was the beginnings of a deep purple bruise, and Chris had no doubt that Alex was going to end up with one hell of a black eye in the morning. Just that knowledge alone was enough to make the anger that had been bubbling in Chris since their encounter in the car earlier boil, but he couldn't do anything. The last thing he wanted to do was what he'd inadvertantly done to Alex before, to reduce him to a petrified, hysterical wreck again. He didn't know what he'd do to himself if he ever hurt Alex that bad again in the same day.

"Do you want a beer or something? I'm buying." Chris offered warmly, and he gave a wistful half smile when Alex stiffly nodded his head, his eyes directing themselves back down to the table as he let out a shallow, fearful sigh.

"Yeah," Alex mumbled, completely unable to hide the tremor in his voice as he chanced glancing up at Chris, a horribly forced smile on his lips. "Beer sounds good actually."

Chris briefly cocked an eyebrow at Alex, concerned with his tone and the obviously fake grin he was giving him, but he decided not to question it as he waved over a barmaid, placing an order for two beers before chucking a handful of coins her way to cover the cost.

As she walked away, he diverted his attention back to Alex again, his eyes scanning every inch of his body for any more visible marks that were fresh. Around Alex's left wrist, he could make out what almost looked to be a hand-print shaped blotch of red, but before he had time to closely examine it, Alex quickly moved his arm away, his hand coming to rest nervously on his jeans. Alex looked like he was seconds away from having a full scale freakout, and Chris didn't want that to happen again, so desperately tried to think of something to say to break the stifling silence.

"So," he started unsurely, his brain grasping for any topic that could seem half way decent before he thought of something. "The guys were asking about where you were earlier. They were looking forward to you joining us for some drinks."

Chris gave a slight laugh, but immediately stopped when he saw Alex freeze up, the tension from beforehand coming back with a vengence as he dropped his eyes to the table again. Alex frantically tried to think of an excuse, not wanting to admit to Chris what had happened earlier whilst the pain was still so raw, but he couldn't think, his panic building up mental blocks in his mind. After a few minutes of suffocating silence, he shrugged his shoulders gently, trying not to set off the excruciating pain in his ribs again.

"Something came up. I was... We were... _He _wasn't..."

Alex throat closed up on him in panic as he attempted to stutter his way weakly through the answers going through his head, but he couldn't get out more than a couple of words before fear set in and he felt like he was choking on his words, tears welling up in his eyes as he desperately avoided Chris' gaze.

Chris let out a sigh, his features softening in worry as he listened to Alex' rambled excuses, and before he could stop himself, he reached out his hand to rest on top of the one Alex still had laying on the table. Alex flinched violently at the contact, but as he went to pull his hand back, Chris clasped it softly, preventing him from moving it as he delicately rubbed his thumb across the top of Alex's heavily bruised and bandaged knuckles. After a few moments of soothing stroking, Alex fell silent, the stiffness in his body slowly being released from the tenderness of Chris' touch.

"I meant what I said earlier 'Lex," Chris whispered quietly, moving his hand slightly so that their fingers were half laced together; if Alex was uncomfortable with the contact, then he certainly didn't betray it. If anything, he shifted his broken hand as carefully as possible, intertwining their fingers just that little bit further as Chris continued to talk. "I don't want you to feel like you have to lie to me. You can trust me with anything, and you know that. I know that earlier in the car scared the shit out of you, and I can't apologise enough for doing that to you, but I don't want you to be afraid of me."

Alex gazed up at Chris, his eyes watery and filled with lingering distrust after the incident earlier, and Chris couldn't help but feel his chest tighten painfully at the pained look in Alex's stare.

"Please?"

Chris' plea was so damn quiet that Alex almost missed it amongst the noise of the bar, but it was enough to make his gut twist and his throat go dry. Taking a few deep breaths, Alex looked distantly at one of the empty bottles on the table, but before he could open his mouth and acquiesce to Chris' beg for information, the barmaid strode back over, placing two full beers on the table in front of them both. She briefly glanced between them, smiling secretly at their interlinked hands before turning on her heel and disappearing somewhere else.

"Asleep."

Alex's answer just even quieter than Chris' question, and if it wasn't for the fact that he was staring straight at Alex, Chris didn't think he'd have even seem Alex's lips move. Cocking his head gently, Chris waited when he saw Alex take in a deep breath, instinctively knowing that Alex was going to try and carry on.

"_He _fell asleep. _He_..." Alex paused, biting back the sob that was pushing hard in his gut as he let his gaze fall to the table, trying to hide from Chris just how upset and hurt he was. "_He_... then _he _fell asleep. Then I came here."

Chris softly squeezed Alex's fingers in a silent thanks, the pride surging through him at how willing Alex apparently was to let him help him; it didn't last long though, before the blistering anger flew back as he deciphered what Alex was implicitly trying to tell him, and he immediately frowned with deep worry as he scanned back over Alex's body in a panic.

"Where Alex?" He asked gently, his voice filled with overwhelming concern as he squeezed Alex's hand again, trying to reassure him. "I've seen your face, and I'm pretty sure you've bruised your wrist up, is there anywhere else?"

Alex bit down hard on his bottom lip, his eyes dropping to the table out of shame as he froze up even more than before, and Chris could've sworn as Alex's hand carefully rubbed up and down his ribs in a silent answer that he was going to murder the next person he dared to talk to him.

The anger that was pulsing through him was becoming almost white hot, but Chris exerted every last drop of his control trying to maintain his composure as he started to caress the top of Alex's laced fingers.

Alex didn't relax like he had done beforehand, and that instantly made Chris' concern peak as he watched Alex's hand disappear underneath the table to reluctantly gesture to his thigh and hip, and Chris knew immediately exactly what Alex was trying to implicitly tell him, what he couldn't put into words without obviously breaking down on him again.

"Shit," Chris cursed under his breath, his eyes slipping shut as he tried to reign in the fury now definitely threatening to explode. He felt Alex flinch slightly at his words, and he instantly opened his eyes again, gazing directly at Alex as he watched Alex curl up on himself, the hand joined with Chris' now shaking rather violently as he desperately tried to avoid eye contact with Chris.

He wasn't worthy enough to be able to look out on somebody he cared so deeply for. He felt dirty. Used. Worthless. He couldn't bring himself to even utter a word about the sex, let alone just how violent and vicious it was; that would make it way too real, and Alex wasn't ready to accept it yet.

He needed something to block it out at least for a few hours until the pain that was throbbing through him made it impossible to ignore; he had the two best distractions he could hope to get at that moment in time, alcohol and Chris.

But he didn't deserve Chris.

Moments like these, when it was just the two of them, hand in hand and Chris full of protection and adoration for him, were moments that Alex cherished desperately, because he knew they were fleeting. They'd never happen again. It was those seconds of warmth and care that got Alex through absolutely everything _he _could throw at him, but the knowledge that they'd be nothing more than that was enough to make Alex's heart clench and the tears well up further in his eyes.

Alex took his hand off his jeans, grabbing one of the full bottles of beer in front of him and uncapping it. Lifting it to his lips, he drunk down frantically, at least half of the bottle emptying before he paused to take a breath.

Deliberately ignoring the deeply concerned look that Chris was giving him, he finished the rest of it; his hand was shaking so badly that he was in actual danger of the beer slipping out of his clenched fist and shattering on the table, and as he drained the last dregs from the bottle, he quickly placed it down next to the other empty glasses that the others had obviously left behind.

He wanted to grab Chris' drink and down that as well, but he knew that the likelihood of Chris letting him do that was exceptionally low, so he put his hand down on the table instead, the darkening hand print around his wrist suddenly becoming properly visible for the first time.

Chris's eyes were instantly drawn to the vibrant purple mark, wincing slightly at just how nasty it looked. Reaching out his other hand, Chris made sure not to startle Alex in any way as he gently ran the backs of his fingers across the developing bruise, noticing the way that Alex seemed to almost give a shiver at his touch. Grabbing his wrist as softly as possible, he turned it over so that he could investigate the inside, and Chris couldn't help but let out an agitated sigh when he saw the deep crescent shaped indents around his pulse point.

"Jesus Alex," Chris breathed out, not entirely surprised when Alex tried to pull his wrist back, letting out a sharp hiss of pain when he twisted it awkwardly in Chris' grip. Chris reluctantly let go, and Alex immediately dropped his hand back down to his thigh, his shoulders wracked with tension once more.

"I tried, but _he_... _he _didn't..."

Chris heard Alex let out a half choked gasp as the tears welled up even more in the corners of his eyes, and he instantly lifted his hand to cup Alex's chin, forcing his eyes from the table as he squeezed down reassuringly on their interlaced fingers.

"Alex, it's okay, I know what happened. I know what you're trying to tell me," Chris whispered morosely, his thumb straying to delicately stroke over the bottom half of Alex's cheek. "I can't pretend that I can make it any better, because I know I can't, no matter what I do..."

Alex tuned out Chris' words completely, completely focusing in on the warmth of Chris' fingers against his skin. He was desperate to feel more. He wanted to feel the kind of love and adoration that Chris was giving him, he wanted it to replace the pain and misery that was currently pulsing through him, but he knew the chances of that happening was zero.

Chris didn't love him.

How could he love him? He was a broken and beaten down man, pathetic enough to wallow in his self pity and let _him _control every little aspect of his life. He was used and marked, physically with the bruises and broken bones and mentally from the abuse that haunted him on a day to day basis; how could he ever be good enough for Chris? He was barely good enough for the likes of _him_, let alone someone better.

Alex's eyes were drawn to Chris' lips, watching them move and curl as he continued to talk to him, and his gut twisted when he realised that all he would have to do would be to move his head just slightly forward to press their mouths together. God, he would have happily given up his soul for just that one moment of bliss; he could feel his knees go weak even now at the mere thought of kissing Chris, of having even a second of love and intimacy that didn't come with a beating attached.

But he couldn't.

Chris loved him, he knew that; but he didn't really _love _him. As much as it killed Alex, he knew that doing something about the swirl of emotions that attacked him everytime he even heard Chris' name, let alone saw him and touched him, would cost him. Dearly. It would cost him Chris. It cost him his friendship and the adoration that went with it, and Alex couldn't bear even the idea of it; Alex didn't think he'd even have been able to survive this long without thoughts of Chris keeping him going. He didn't know what he'd do if Chris wasn't there in his life, or if God forbid Chris hated him for doing something he so desperately wanted to do.

Letting out a depressed sigh, Alex tried to focus back on what Chris was saying, but found it completely impossible as his stomach continued to knot up and his heart clench painfully tight in his chest. He almost felt like he was going to be sick as he let the torrent of emotions wash over him like it had done so many times before. Blinking a couple of times, he jumped slightly when Chris waved his hand in front of his face, a worried frown plastered straight across his face when he realised that Alex had been so deeply absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn't listened to a single word that he had said.

Squeezing Alex's hand, Chris felt a small rush of relief when Alex blinked, finally starting to focus his attention on Chris once more. His eyes were hazy and heavily tear-shot, and there was something about the distant glaze in Alex's stare that made him feel just a bit uneasy, but he shook it off as he slid his beer over towards Alex. Alex cocked his head slightly, not really sure if he should reach out and take what Chris was offering. Chris nudged the inside of Alex's leg with his foot.

"I know that you want it, and I've probably had enough to drink tonight, so have it. If it'll help you to take your mind off of things, then who am I to begrudge a little liquid comfort?"

Chris gave a half smile to Alex, his heart physically aching in his chest at the broken ghost of a smile that Alex returned before he took the bottle. Sitting back in his chair, Chris couldn't help but absentmindedly stroke his thumb across the top of Alex's knuckles whilst he drank, loving the feel of Alex's fingers between his own.

It was a sensation he didn't think he'd ever be able to get enough of; it just felt so natural and right. The connection between them, despite being faded and worn with the memories of everything that had happened over the past couple of days, was still just as alive as it always had been, and that was something that made Chris glow with pride and contented happiness. Alex had always been able to induce that kind of pleasure and feeling in him.

Alex put the bottle back down on the table, wiping off his mouth with the back of his hand roughly, and Chris couldn't help but be drawn to the action as Alex's lips shined temptingly in the light, his bottom lip still plump and full as the split in it gradually healed up. It would've have been so easy for Chris to have ducked his head forward and kissed him like he had dreamed of doing so many times in the past, to make him feel loved and adored like he deserved, but he had to hold back.

Alex was vulnerable. He was upset and miserable. Worse still, he was a taken man. Chris may have had an utter detestment for whoever _he _was, and he may have desperately wished that he had an identity for _him _so that he could beat ten tons worth of absolute shit out of _him_, but that still didn't change things. As much as it made him stomach knot up and sadness ripple through him, Alex wasn't with him, and he never would be.

Chris loved Alex; he had always known that he'd loved Alex, even back when he mistook the attraction as purely platonic. He would willingly give his soul for that one opportunity to show Alex what it was like to be adored beyond measure, to worship every inch of him as he should of been, and even just to hold him in his arms as he fell asleep pressed tight against him, but he knew that his fantasies would remain just that. Mere fantasies that did nothing to quell just how much he felt for Alex.

Chris was suddenly brought back to his senses when he felt Alex's hand clasp over their intertwined fingers, and Chris had to physically swallow as his mouth ran dry. However, as he looked into Alex's eyes and saw the regret and fear lacing his stare, Chris instantly knew exactly what Alex was about to say to him.

Letting out a sigh, Chris had to fight back the beg that was beginning to thread itself through his throat, his plea to Alex to stay with him tonight just so that _he _couldn't hurt him again, knowing that Alex would never say yes to him. He was too broken in and scared to even debate thinking about Chris' offer even if he wanted to, but that wouldn't stop Chris from asking him when the time was right. As much as it pained him to admit it, now wasn't that time.

"Look Chris," Alex mumbled nervously, his hands starting to shake slightly in Chris'. "I just want to say thank you for tonight; you have no idea how much I appreciated it. It was nice, y'know?"

Alex gave Chris a half smile, and Chris couldn't help but return the gesture in full. However, as soon as the relaxed expression was there, it was gone again as the weight of reality began to push down hard on Alex's shoulders.

"I... I need to go," his voice had broken into what Chris was almost certain was a terrified whisper, but before Chris could protest, Alex continued. "I don't know if _he_... if _he's_ still asleep, and I can't take that chance. Not again."

Alex's eyes welled up further as he spoke, and Chris squeezed down softly on his fingers, feeling Alex instantly return the small yet no less telling gesture as he stood up. Letting out a sigh, Alex reluctantly pulled his hand off of Chris', their fingers still tightly laced together; Chris couldn't bear to let go just yet as he stared up at Alex sadly.

"Are you sure that you're gonna be okay Alex? I can come with you, if you like?"

Alex gave a shallow shaky breath, not wanting to admit to Chris that he'd do anything not to be left alone with _him. _The tears in his eyes threatening to fall, Alex dropped his head, not ready to stop the intimate touch between them but having no choice. Chris gave him a ghost of a smile, stroking his thumb softly across the top of Alex's knuckles one more time before very reluctantly letting go, instantly feeling cold as the warmth of Alex's skin left his own.

Alex's hand lingered on the table for a brief few seconds, almost as if he was silently begging Chris to grab hold of him again and never let go, but he too withdrew his hand. The comfort and reassurance that was so prominent before immediately fled, and Alex could help but shiver slightly as the hurt and fear came rushing back, almost overwhelming him as he wiped his hand shakily across his eyes to stop the tears from falling.

"I'll be fine Chris," he whispered. "Thank you though."

He knew that he'd be anything but fine, but he couldn't drag Chris any further into this than he already was. If he did, then Chris would end up getting hurt in the end, physically and mentally, and Alex would have rather commited suicide then let that happen at all. He cared way too much for Chris to let him suffer what he had. He _loved _him too much to let it happen.

Before Chris could even open his mouth and reply, Alex had turned on his heel, his arms wrapped protectively around his ribs as he walked back over towards the bar door. Chris slumped his shoulders, letting out a sigh as the door was slowly opened; Alex gave him one last glance before leaving, the tension flooding through him once more as the door swung shut behind him.

"Anytime." Chris whispered, cupping his cheek in his hand as he flagged down the barmaid for another beer. "Anytime."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So, I had a little bit of time between exams to get a move on with this fic, and I thought that I might as well take the chance to finish writing the rest of this chapter! Thanks to everyone who's reading this, and I hope that you continue to enjoy this :)**

**As always, if you want to leave a review, then feel free! This lack of reviews is making me feel kinda sad, so if you have any opinions, remember that they'll be highly appreciated! :)**

**Unfortunately, I will never own Alex, Chris, or anybody else who decides to randomly make an appearance in this fic :(**

**Enjoy guys! :)**

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><p>Morning came way too early for Alex the next day. As the first bright sprays of sunlight streamed in through the window, he screwed his eyes shut, burying his face deep into the pillow as he pulled the covers up over him further. It was a rare opportunity for him to be able to get a comfortable nights sleep nowadays that didn't involved him lying on some floor somewhere, and he wasn't going to let this chance slip straight through his fingers.<p>

Even as he'd slept, his body still retained so much tension that it was unreal. Coming back from the bar the night before to find _him _still asleep in the middle of the bed had been an incredibly welcome surprise for Alex, even if he couldn't entirely trust the idea that he'd gotten away with his secret meeting with Chris. Swallowing down the nerves that he could feel tightening his throat, he'd decided to take a huge risk.

Stripping down as carefully as possible to his boxers to avoid setting off the pain that was still throbbing heavily through his ribs, he'd quietly padded over towards the bed, his hand shaking violently in fear as he lifted the corner of the bedcovers up just enough to allow him to slide into it.

As he'd slowly crawled under the covers, he could feel _his _arm and hand suddenly reach out, wrapping possessively around his waist before _he _let out a sigh, his grip tightening to near crushing levels as _he _shifted restlessly in _his _sleep.

Alex had immediately frozen at his touch, unable to shake off the misery and shame he still felt from their earlier sex session as he pulled the covers up over him. Turning in _his_ grasp, Alex faced the window, the silent tears he'd been trying so damn hard to hold back whilst he was with Chris beginning to fall down his face as _he _curled up hard around his back, preventing him from moving even an inch.

Alex hated nights like that. Just the feel of _him_ lying next to him, when he desperately wanted somebody else to fill that void was enough to make his heart clench up in his chest as he let out a teary gasp, not even bothering to wipe away the streaks now running down his cheek as he stared vacantly out of the hotel window. It was raining outside, Alex noticed humorlessly; it always seemed to be raining at the moment. Maybe the weather was feeling all of his pain and decided it would be a fun idea to make it worse.

In his dreams, it was always Chris wrapped up around him, his arm around his waist with none of the strength and malice that was there in _his _touch. If he closed his eyes, he could almost feel Chris laying behind him, brushing lazy kisses down his neck as he succumbed to sleep, his fingers caressing, stroking down Alex's abdomen as he whispered sweet nothings into Alex's ear.

He'd always imagined Chris to have that softer side; Chris already showed he possessed a deeper, more adoring side to him, and it was only Alex who ever got to see it, Alex had thought, a slight rush of calmness running through his aching body. Alex got to see a lot of different sides to Chris that no-one else, not even his closest friends, had ever beared witness to, and it always made him feel special that he was the only one who ever got to see them.

Images of Chris had filled his mind, and Alex had let out a rather contented sigh as he let his eyes slip shut properly, trying his hardest to let the tension leave his body as he attempted to fall asleep. It didn't work of course; everytime _he _moved and grunted, _his _fingers digging hard into Alex's stomach, Alex was always reminded that his dreams were nothing more than that, and that they'd never happen. That the worst realisation of all.

The same rush of emotion that had threatened to overcome him during his meeting with Chris in the bar had washed back over him, and Alex couldn't help but let out a half-choked sob as the tears continued to run down his face. He would've given anything to have stayed with Chris, for Chris to come with him like he'd offered, but Alex had been stupid and turned him down.

If he could've rewound the clock just a couple of hours before, he would've readily agreed; hell, he would've gotten down on his hands and knees and begged Chris not to leave him with _him _again, but he hadn't. His fear and terror had gotten in the way, denying him that chance of escape for even a moment longer. Now, all Alex had left was a night that would no doubt be filled with self-loathing, bitter depression and insomnia.

It had taken hours before Alex had been able to fall asleep, and even then it hadn't been a pleasant one to begin with. _He _always seemed to haunt his dreams, the abuse and the violence coming worse than it did in real life, and Alex couldn't do anything but lay there, tossing and turning in fear whilst he was trapped inside the nightmares that now seemed to happen on a day to day basis, giving him no respite from the hell that his life had become.

It always went the same way. _He'd _maliciously abuse him, beat him black and blue before pausing to taunt him, to tell him that he'd be better off dead; whether that was his subconscious telling him that, Alex had never been quite sure, but it certainly wouldn't have surprised him. Those kinds of thoughts had become a lot more frequent over the past few months, not that it bothered Alex in the slightest; it as a change of pace, he supposed. _He'd _start up the beating, worse than before, tying Alex to the bed as _he'd _beat him with belts, bottles, anything that would cause him pain and suffering whilst _he _just laughed. Finally, it would always end in _him _forcing himself upon Alex, fucking him violently and viciously against his will whilst Alex could do nothing more than sob and beg in agony for it all to end. It never did.

That was usually when Alex would wake up in a cold sweat, absolutely terrified beyond belief. Those dreams always felt so damn real to him, and that made it so much more unbearable to him; it was starting to become impossible for him to decipher where his dreams ended and reality began after some nights. However, just occasionally, the dream would change just a little bit, and those nights were just a little bit more bearable for Alex.

It would always go the same way, but after _he'd _finished fucking him, he'd feel soft gentle hands against his bruised and broken skin, hushed whispers of 'it'll all be okay.' He'd look up from swollen eyes to see Chris leaning over him, full of regret and sadness, but also hints of love and adoration. Chris would take care of him, carry him back to his room before cleaning him up of all of the blood and grime that would be covering his body.

He'd curl up in Chris' bed, and Chis would kiss him softly as he drifted off to sleep, promising never to leave him, to hurt him in the ways that _he_ had. Those dreams were always the most bittersweet; those were the ones that Alex almost wished would happen in real life, Chris swooping in to save him from the misery that was his life, Chris loving him the way that he loved Chris.

But that would never happen. Chris didn't love him.

Pain started to flare through Alex's ribs when he felt something push hard against them, and he let out a hiss of pain when the heel of someone's foot caught him particularly hard, making him curl in on himself slightly in defense. The foot came back again, catching him even harder than before, then Alex felt himself falling.

Instinctively, he put his hands out to stop himself hitting the floor hard, but as he landed, the sheer unadulterated agony that pulsed through his broken hand let him know instantly what the fuck he had just done. Letting out a sharp whimper of pain, Alex rolled onto his side, cradling his hand tight to his chest as tears of pain welled up in his eyes.

He felt like he was going to be violently sick as his hand throbbed and screamed with the abuse. His eyes screwed shut as he tried to hold back the nausea and torturous hurt that was threatening to make him pass out, Alex tensed up in fear and panic when he felt someone lean over the top of him.

_He _was awake.

A hand gripped tight around his broken hand, and Alex couldn't help but let out a tortured scream of agony when it was pulled hard and rough, literally lifting Alex's shoulders of the floor as the bone crunched and popped from the strain put on it. Even just hearing the noises made Alex feel even worse than he did before, and as bile rushed up his throat, Alex had to hold his breath to prevent himself from being horribly sick.

"Get the fuck up," _He _whispered menacingly, pulling roughly on Alex's hand once more when he didn't move quick enough for _his _likes. "NOW! Or do you need reminding what happens when you don't fucking obey me?" _He _snarled viciously.

Alex found himself frozen to the spot, unable to move as the fear knotted his gut up to the point where he felt like he couldn't breathe. He wanted to move; correction, he thought frantically, he _needed_ to move, but he couldn't find the energy or the courage to. Rapidly losing _his_ patience, _he_ gripped down hard on Alex's hand before giving it a sharp twist, bending it in a direction that Alex instinctively knew was a way that bones weren't supposed to go as Alex let out another agonised whimper of pain, his eyes heavily tear-shot and his vision blurred from a mixture of pain, sleep and tears.

Throwing Alex's hand back down to the floor, _he _hovered _his _foot above Alex's hand and wrist, pulling _his _leg back as if getting ready to stamp on it again. Alex never moved so quick in his life; ignoring the stabbing pain that shot through his ribs from the speed of his movements, Alex pulled himself up by the edge of the bed as best as he could.

Stumbling to his feet, Alex's eyes were blood-shot and wide from panic as he stood in front of _him_, shaking violently as he tensed up from the fear. The blistering fury that he could read clear as day in _his _eyes made Alex want to flee, but he couldn't. He knew exactly what would happen to him if he dared to move a muscle without permission. There was no way that Alex could risk it; he was already in a seriously messed-up state between his hand and his ribs, he couldn't afford to make it any worse.

Shaking _his _head in disgust, _he _gripped down on Alex's shoulder hard, _his _nails leaving indents that matched the set around his bruised wrist from the night before as _he _pushed Alex hard backwards. Alex fell back onto the bed, his eyes screwing shut when he felt _him _follow him down.

A knee pushed between his own, an elbow digging painfully into his ribs, and Alex's eyes popped back open in desperate terror when he felt _his _hand curl tight around his throat, tears welling up further in his eyes at the look of sheer malevolence painted across _his _face. Alex tried to claw at his neck, frantically attempting to gain a little space to breath, but as he went to move, a fist crashed down so hard onto Alex's broken hand that Alex could've sworn he heard a crack. Alex went to open his mouth, to call out in agony from the pain that was now throbbing through his hand, but as he did so, he was cut off with a stiff slap around the face.

"Don't you dare fucking move you pathetic slut!" _He _hissed out venomously as _his _grip around Alex's neck tightened even more, and Alex began to wheeze from the lack of air as the tears he'd been trying to hold back started to pool and swim in his eyes, a stray streak rolling down his cheek to be absorbed by the pillow.

"Right Alex, I'm going to ask you a question, and so help me God if you don't tell me the fucking truth I'm going to break your fucking neck, do you understand me?"

Alex nodded his head instantly, his face flushing red from the vicious grip around his throat as more tears escaped and ran down his face haphazardly. _He_ smirked maliciously for a few seconds, before the anger infiltrated _his_ eyes once more in a glare that had Alex shaking with pure fear as he continued to choke and gasp pathetically.

"Good. Now, where the fuck did you go last night?"

Alex immediately froze, knowing that he was trapped. If he lied to _him_, then he'd get one fuck of a beating for daring to hide the truth from _him_, and that was before _he _even found out where he really went. However, if he told _him _what happened, then there was the possibility that he'd be in for an even worse and more vicious assault for directly disobeying him. Neither option was one that Alex wanted to take, but the risk was way too great, and he had no choice.

"The bar," Alex mouthed out scared as he let out a half-choked sob of pain and fear. "I went to the bar."

_His _face darkened dangerously, and it was a look that honestly scared the absolute shit out of Alex as _his _grip continued to tighten around Alex's throat. He looked like he was practically ready to explode on Alex, something Alex knew was a highly likely possibility; Alex tried his hardest to curl up on himself in anticipated self-defence, but the way he was pinned uncompromisingly to the bed meant that he could barely move at all, just the way that Alex knew _he_ liked it.

"Really, did you now? And who the fuck did you go with, huh?"

_His _voice had dropped to an icy whisper, and Alex couldn't help but shiver at the tone in _his _words. _He _was at _his _most vicious and nasty when _he _appeared to be calm, and Alex knew that his fears of a beating were definitely going to be proven true. The want to lie to _him_, to protect Chris from _his _anger by taking full responsibility was so strong that it was unbelievable, and before Alex even had the chance to think over the consequences, he'd started to babble almost incoherently.

"No-one. I went with no-one, I swear! It was just me, I pro-"

"LIAR!" _He _screamed viciously, punching Alex square in the face with as much force as _he _could muster. "Tell me the truth!"

Alex's cheek and nose flooded with pain from the severity of the shot, and Alex could feel a sticky sensation beginning to run across the lower part of his face. Licking his lip slightly, a sharp, coppery liquid filled his mouth, and Alex almost immediately began to feel sick when he realised that it was blood coming from his nose and mouth that he could taste. Even after 8 months of utter hell and torture at _his_ hands, that was something Alex had never been able to get use to.

When Alex hadn't answered after a couple of moments, _he _lost _his _patience, punching him hard in the face once more as _he _drove _his _elbow down into Alex's ribs sharply, making Alex cry out in pain. The grip around his throat was tightening further, and Alex debated the possibility of getting choked out before he had to answer so that he wouldn't get himself into any more trouble, but he knew the chances of that happening, despite being very high at that moment in time, wouldn't stop _him _from making him talk once he woke up.

His gut twisting up in self-hatred and sadness, Alex couldn't hold back when _he _raised _his _fist once more, getting ready to reward Alex with another hard crack to the face. He was like a deer caught in the headlights, and his panicked fear at getting another hit to the face took over all of his fragile thoughts of lying to try and protect himself.

"Chris, I went with Chris!" Alex half sobbed, desperate to stop _him_ from hitting him again. His eyes had slipped shut in anticipation of another strike, and as he let them open slightly, he froze, his heart stopping in sheer terror at the anger that contorted his features and the disgust that blazed across his eyes.

_He_ bent down to close the gap between the two of them, forcing himself nose to nose with Alex as _he_ let the grip around Alex's throat loosen just slightly, lulling him into a false sense of security that Alex could spot a mile off. If anything, Alex tensed up further, unable to stop himself from flinching in pure unadulterated fear when _he_ came closer, _his_ breath warm and sharp against his face.

"So, let me get this straight," _his_ voice had dropped down to a breathy half whisper, but Alex could hear the underline anger and rage that was peeking through _his_ words, and that scared Alex more than anything. "You went out last night with Chris? Chris, of all people. _After_ I told you that if you were even in the same room as him, I would slit your fucking throat from left to right?"

The grip around Alex's throat tightened again suddenly in a move that had Alex coughing and gasping for air. Alex knew that there was no point in even giving an answer now, because he knew that nothing would reduce the level of violence that was most definitely about to be unleashed upon him. Resigning himself to his fate, Alex let his eyes slip shut as he tensed up, preparing himself for the strike that he expecting to come.

And by fuck, did it come.

A fist smashed down hard into his face, the knuckles splattering with blood from Alex's profusely bleeding nose and lip as he was repeated punched in the face with every last ounce of strength that _he_ could scrape together. Alex couldn't even cry out in pain as the fingers around his throat clamped together so damn tight that the edges of Alex's vision were turning black and fuzzy, and he was so blinded by the fear and the agony that was rolling over him that he never even saw him getting off of the bed, or walking towards the drawer of the bedside cabinet.

Alex refused to open his eyes as tears rolled hard and fast down his face, but when he heard the scratch of metal against word, he almost panicked. He knew exactly what was coming next; it was something that hadn't happened for a good couple of months, but _he_ reserved it only for times when Alex had been particularly disobedient and deserved the worst of beatings _he_ could give him without basically killing him. Those were the times that would scare Alex the most; just remembering the sheer level of pain, torture and humiliation that would run through him from the punishment would make Alex happily wish that he was dead, just to stop him from having to go through it again.

"On your stomach now, you fucking cunt."

Alex heard the blazing, unrestrained anger and sinister tone in _his_ voice, and that alone made him freeze up in sheer fear and terror. He was almost wishing that he could flee, run out of the door and never come back, but he couldn't. He'd made that mistake once. He didn't even reach the door before _he_ caught him, and the beating _he_ administered was so damn violent and brutal that Alex had ended up in hospital being mistook for a car crash victim. He didn't think he'd be able to live through an assault like that again.

When Alex hadn't moved after a couple of moments, _his_ temper snapped, and _he_ marched over to the bed. As soon as _he_ got close enough, _he_ grabbed both ends of the belt, wrapping them around Alex's throat as _he_ drove _his_ knee straight down into Alex's ribs with as much force as _he_ could muster. Alex screamed, arching up off the bed slightly from the sheer viciousness of the blow, and that allowed _him_ to pull even harder on the belt, watching with a sick level of enjoyment when Alex's face started to turn a deep crimson as he struggled against the increasing tightness of the belt.

Alex's body was starting to go limp from the growing pressure around his neck, and his vision was fading around the edges; it freaked him out something chronic, but at that moment in time, he was almost hoping that the belt would choke the life out of him, just so that he wouldn't have to feel the pain anymore. He let out an evil laugh as he suddenly let go off the ends of the belt, and Alex wretched violently, depserately trying to get some air back into his lungs as he writhed and convulsed on the bed weakly.

Gripping down hard on Alex's shoulder, _he_ started to force him over roughly, pushing Alex onto his stomach. Despite the condition that he was in, Alex still maintained just enough where-with-all to tuck his broken hand slightly underneath his abdomen, letting out a raspy hiss of pain when _he_ dug _his_ knee into the small of Alex's back to pin him hard in place on the bed.

It may of hurt having all of the pressure crushing his already throbbing and heavily swollen hand, but he didn't put it past _him_ to deliberately target it during the beating, and that was something Alex wanted to avoid at all costs. His ribs were fully exposed to _him_ though, and that was something that panicked the shit out of Alex; he knew that this was going to hurt, and extremely badly, and he couldn't contemplate how he was going to be able to get away from this without making the injury to them so much worse than before.

_He_ leaned his body back slightly; _his_ knee was still resting firmly on the base of Alex's back as Alex started to struggle futily against the hold, his body still incredibly weak and lifeless from the lack of air he'd endured. The leather belt in _his_ hand was slowly wrapped around _his_ hand and wrist to leave a good portion of it hanging; the buckle end of it was fully exposed, dangling off of the end. _He_ always made sure that if _he_ could get a little bit of extra pain in, _he_ would, Alex thought depressingly, and the feel of the metal digging shredding mercilessly into the sensitive flesh of his back was one that had the fear rolling off Alex in thick waves. He hated the feel of the cold metal bruising and cutting up his back and ribs, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. There never was.

After a couple of moments, Alex could see the shadow of _his_ arm being lifted out of the corner of his eye, and he bit down hard on the pillow beneath his head as the thin leather belt and buckle struck viciously across the broad of his back. It only took a fraction of a second before the intense pain flooded straight through his back, and Alex twisted to the side out of sheer agony as the metal edges of the belt ripped through his skin, his scream of pain being muffled by the soft material beneath him.

Less than a second later, he felt the leather hit his back again, slightly lower this time, and the metal buckle wrapped around his side to strike hard against his ribs in an action that had Alex arching his back in pure instinct from the pain that was now searing through every inch of his body, making him shake and gag as the bile rose in his throat. Again, the belt came, whipping violently hard against his back, and Alex couldn't help but sob into the pillow beneath him as blow after blow was landed upon the already bruised and bleeding flesh. Alex lost count after 10; if anything, they started to come faster and harder, making Alex writhe in sheer agony from the force of the shots.

After a few minutes of the torture, the strikes stopped. Alex's entire body was tense and shaking with uncontrollable agony as he cried out and sobbed in indescribable pain, and Alex could just about make out the feel of warm, sticky streaks running across his back and down his ribs before staining the bedsheets below him. He heard the clang as the metal buckle hit the floor, and he felt a small sense of relief wash through him upon knowing that there was going to be no more hits, but it didn't last long before he strode over to the bed and kneeled down by Alex's head, _his_ hand gripping his hair and forcing his bruised neck back just enough so that _he_ could look into Alex's bloodshot eyes.

"I'd say that next time, I'd break every fucking bone in your body, but there isn't going to be a next time, is there Alex? There's not going to be anymore meetings with Chris, is there? In fact, you're not even going to think about him, are you?"

Alex immediately shook his head, his neck pulsing with pain from even the smallest movements; one or two of the shots had been particularly high and stuck Alex across the back of the neck, making him feel like he was going to be violently sick. Apparently pleased with the answer that Alex had given _him_, _he_ slammed Alex's head forward into the pillow, getting a great amount of perverse joy out of hearing Alex's muffled sobs as _he_ started to strip out of _his_ boxers to put some clean clothes on.

Alex could barely make out anything around him; all of his attention was completely consumed by the agonising pain that he could feel stabbing through every inch of him as his back throbbed viciously from the strikes. He couldn't even roll off of his stomach, all of his fight and motivation having abandoned him the second he'd been pushed onto the floor. His vision was dimming, going black and ragged around the edges as he continued to struggle to get air back into his heavily bruised and swollen throat; Alex hadn't seen _him_ this angry in months, and he'd forgotten just how sadistically violent _he_ could be. This was one of the worst beatings he'd been forced to endure, and just that knowledge was enough to make Alex want to sob and cry until he literally passed out.

Alex heard the faint sound of a zipper being pulled up amongst the whooshing noise that was pounding through his skull, and he couldn't help but tense up in sheer unadulterated fear when he saw _him_ approach the bed again out of the corner of his eye. He was terrified about the possibility of round 2; he didn't think he'd physically be able to last much longer before he succumbed to the darkness that was tugging at him as he sobbed and gasped raggedly for breath, and even the mere thought of having to go through it all again was enough to make Alex want to happily commit suicide just to escape it.

_He_ reached out to grab Alex's broken hand from under his body again, pulling on it painfully hard as _he_ dragged Alex's almost dead weight across the bed, little pools and streaks of blood being left on the bedcovers. Alex's hand had gone totally numb from the sheer level of pain, and the tips of his fingers had started to go cold from the vicious swollen that made his hand balloon up to near 3 times its size, but that didn't stop Alex from giving a quiet whimper of pain when _his_ nails dug in deep around his wrist, scratching the already deeply bruised skin.

When Alex's head was finally hanging over the edge of the bed, _he_ let go of his hand, watching dispassionately as it slammed into the wooden bedframe. Alex's chin was resting heavily against the mattress, his entire body throbbing too much for him to even muster the energy to hold his head up; not that he wanted to. Alex felt like he was going to be violently sick if he had to use up any of the strength that had been physically beaten out of him. The blood continued to run profusely from Alex's nose and lip, dripping off of his face to mark the floor below him as the sickly coppery taste invaded Alex's mouth, making him gag and splutter at the tanginess.

_He_ took a step back, and Alex had a horribly feeling in the pit of his stomach that he knew exactly what was going to happen next; he was almost wishing that_ he'd_ just get it over and done with, not draw it out any longer than it had to be. Of course, the chances of that happening were minimal, and Alex knew it as he let his eyes weakly drift shut in tense anticipation.

"In future, if I find out you've been anywhere near that bastard again, I swear to fucking God that you won't fucking walk away. You thought I could be nasty? Well, that's nothing compared to what I'm going to do to you the next time you fucking disobey me, you worthless slut._ Learn. Your. Place_."

As _he_ hissed out the last words, _he_ drew _his_ foot back, before unleashing every last drop of strength _he_ had into _his_ one shot. Alex couldn't react, he couldn't even bring his hands up to defend himself, as _he_ kicked _his_ foot viciously hard into the side of Alex's cheek and jaw. Alex never even saw it coming, and as a sickening crack reverberated around the room, Alex slumped further forward, the blood streaming down his face as he fell unconscious from the brutality of the hit.

Standing back, _he_ flexed _his_ toes slightly to eliminate the discomfort _he_ could feel after the kick, watching with a perverse grin as Alex slid off of the bed, landing in a crumpled heap at _his_ feet. Just like where he always belonged, _he_ laughed maliciously, before turning to grab _his_ jacket off the side. Alex hadn't moved a muscle since landing on the floor, and if it wasn't for the shallow raspy breathing _he_ could just about make out, _he_ could've sworn that Alex was as good as dead after _his_ beating.

Not that _he_ would've given a shit. Alex didn't mean a single thing to _him_ anyway. He was just something for _him_ to amuse _himself_ with, and fuck, did he provide _him_ with some fun sometimes. What had started out as a way for _him_ to relieve some anger and stress when _he'd_ first picked up Alex had descended into wanting complete and utter dominance over every aspect of him. _He_ wouldn't neccessarily label _himself_ a masochist, but there was nothing more satisfying and insatiable to _him_ than to listen to Alex scream, sob and beg for _his_ forgiveness.

Shaking _his_ head as _he_ let out a dark huff of laughter, _he_ finished slipping _his_ jacket on before grabbing the key card to the door and letting _himself_ out. Giving one last look to Alex's broken and beaten body, _he_ shut the room up, locking Alex inside. There was going to be absolutely no escape for him today, especially after what he'd done the night before.

And who knew, _he_ mused sinisterly, maybe he'd be awake in time for when he got back later. He couldn't restrain the evil delight that ran through him at the possibility of round 2. In fact, he was almost begging for it to happen.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So, now that all of my college exams have finished for another year, I decided that I might as well crack on with this whilst I had some time to spare! I hope you all enjoy it! :)**

**I would like to say a huge thank you to the people who have reviewed so far! Remember, any and all reviews are incredibly gratefully recieved! :)**

**Unfortunately, I will never own either member of the Guns, nor will I own anyone else who randomly pops their head up :(**

**Enjoy guys! :)**

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><p>Leaning back against the wall, Chris let out a sigh, his eyes drawn to the mobile phone in his hand. It had been over 4 hours since he had sent Alex a message to come and meet him, and despite his calm facade, Chris was starting to get more and more worried with every minute that passed.<p>

For some reason, he couldn't shake off the idea that there was something was wrong; even if Alex was busy doing other things, he would always make a conscious effort to reply to whatever Chris had sent him, just to let him know that he was still alive and half way bothered with whatever Chris was trying to tell him. Even over the past few weeks, with everything that had been happening to him, Alex always replied; Chris kept looking down at his phone, almost begging it to go off and soothe his slowly growing fears.

After another 3 or 4 minutes of silence, Chris pushed himself off of the wall, slowly starting to wander down the corridor towards where he was pretty sure Alex's room was. Chris had originally taken offence to the fact that Alex had started to decline rooming with him, thinking that Alex was drifting away from him, or that he'd noticed Chris' feelings towards him and was getting freaked out by his apparently obvious lust for him.

At the time, Chris had started to take note of what room Alex was staying in, just so that he could keep an eye on him, but he'd always neglected to notice _who_ he was rooming with. The idea that Chris could have stopped all of Alex's misery weeks, or even months ago, if he'd been bothering to pay even the slightest bit of attention was something that made the guilt and self-anger begin to flare up and burn inside of him.

The corridors were largely empty, something which Chris was rather relieved about; he supposed it would have looked slightly odd if someone had seen him constantly walking back and forth in agitation, or even heard him talking to himself as he went over the vast multitude of possibilities that seemed to play through his head.

It was starting to get later into the afternoon now; there wouldn't have been many people left at the hotel anyway. They'd have all either been at the Impact Zone finishing off their matches and promos for the week, or they'd be flying home. Chris instantly knew that neither of those options affected Alex. They hadn't been scheduled for a match today because of the trainers concern about the state of Alex's ribs after the day before, and Chris would have heard from Alex before now if he'd decided to fly home early.

That meant he still had to be at the hotel. Usually, Chris wouldn't be overly worried about the lack of contact from Alex; he'd walk along to Alex's room to find him asleep, or beating the shit out of some zombies on his PSP, but this time was different. Now that he knew the sort of trouble that Alex was finding himself in, Chris found it impossible to shake off the uneasiness and growing fear that was crawling up his spine, especially considering the fact that Alex had met him the night before.

That, he knew, must of caused some absolute hell for Alex if _he_ had found out about their secret meeting, and it was for this reason that his brain kept conjuring up images of Alex laid out injured somewhere with _him_ beating him black and blue. Everytime the thoughts washed over Chris, his almost frantic want for the phone to go off and signal Alex's safety grew stronger and stronger, until it reached the point where Chris felt the overwhelming desire to go and find him, just to prove his fears wrong.

That had led to now, where Chris was gradually making his way through the maze of corridors and stairs towards Alex's room, continuously hoping that his phone would vibrate in his hand and ease all of his tension. Of course, he knew the longer that it didn't, the more worried he'd become until he was literally breaking doors down to find him, but Chris was under the rather frantic belief that he'd have found Alex by then and slapped his upside the head for making him panic like that before hugging the life out of him.

That had become an obsession of Chris' lately; just being able to touch Alex, even in the most subtle and friendliest of ways, was fast becoming something that Chris was having to do nearly everyday just to placate his growing emotions and desire for him. However, it usually had the opposite effect on him; all he'd been able to dream about the night beforehand was Alex, and if he concentrated hard, he could still feel the calming warmth of Alex's fingers laced through his own, the texture of his skin beneath Chris' own. He couldn't get the image of Alex's soft, full lips, shining in the light coming from the bar, and all night he'd been haunted by the desire to want to kiss those lips, to make Alex feel all of the adoration and protection he felt flowing through his veins, to make him feel loved the way that Chris loved him.

But that would never happen. Alex didn't love him.

Letting out a rather depressed sigh, Chris quickly glanced down at the phone in his hands, desperately wishing for it to go off. After he'd seen the condition Alex was in the night before, painfully realised everything that Alex was trying to tell him about what happened to him before he'd met Chris, Chris had spent the rest of the time in the bar, drinking away his growing sorrow with beer after beer until the clock had struck 1 in the morning and Chris had decided it would be a good idea to head off to attempt to get some sleep.

As he'd stumbled back to his room, he'd had to restrain himself from going after Alex, from hunting him down and taking him back to his room for a night of secure protection and sleep, but he'd had to hold back. After all, it was Alex's wishes to go alone and spend the night with _him_ again, and as much as it killed Chris inside, he didn't have the heart to say no to his demand for peace.

Coming back to reality, Chris was rather surprised to find that he was practically standing outside of Alex's room, staring at the door. He had been so caught up in his thoughts and introspection that he hadn't even realised that his restless pacing had picked up speed until he'd basically jogged the rest of the way to Alex's room. Hoping that he'd been too caught up in his thinking to hear his phone go off as well, Chris quickly reached for it, pulling it out of his pocket before frantically sliding it on. He cursed when he saw that there was still no messages, no form of contact whatsoever fom Alex, and the desperate fear that had been building in his gut was beginning to grow even stronger than before.

Turning his head to look up and down the corridor, Chris made sure that the coast was clear before he took a step forward towards the door. He wanted to knock on the door and see whether Alex would answer him that way, but then he realised the possibility of _him_ still being in the room and he decided to hold back for just a couple of seconds. Although the desire to come face to face with _him_, to finally get an identity for the man who'd been making Alex's life a living hell and beat the utter shit out of _him_ was an overwhelming one, Chris couldn't stand the possibility that Alex could end up getting hurt because of his own fears.

Wracking his brains for a few moments, relief flowed through Chris when he thought up a way of finding out whether _he_ was in that wouldn't get Alex into anymore trouble. Having another quick look around, Chris leaned forward, pressing his ear and cheek to the wooden door as he held his breath, trying to listen into the room and see whether he could hear anything that would signal Alex being in there.

Nothing. Chris couldn't hear the TV blaring away, which meant that Alex wasn't playing his games and generally ignoring Chris because he was too preoccupied with what he was doing. There was no faint rush of water either that would have implied Alex being in the shower like he normally was at this kind of time of the day, and Chris couldn't hear anything that sounded like footsteps or muffled voices. Despite the eery silence that seemed to come from within the room, Chris still could't shake off the fear that was continuing to shoot up his spine; there was something majorly wrong, and Chris instinctively knew it. He'd always been able to tell when something was wrong, especially when it concerned Alex.

Pushing himself up off of the door with a huff, Chris suddenly had the most overwhelming want to get inside, to check out the room just to put his somewhat over dramatic fears about Alex laying dead somewhere to rest. Staring up and down the length of the wood, Chris came to the rather annoying realisation that he had no way of actually getting inside; key cards didn't fit every door, and the receptionist would know that he was lying if he went down there claiming that he'd lost his own room key. Wiping his hand down his face with growing aggravation, Chris had another look around, pacing to the end of the corridor to see whether or not he could find someone who'd be able to unwittingly help him.

His luck was in.

Giving a half smile when he saw a cleaner approaching him from the opposite end of the corridor, Chris leaned up against the wall easily, trying to create the facade of calmness as the cleaner entered the room three doors down from him. He wasn't sure though whether it was working or not; his hands were beginning to shake out of nerves, and he could feel his throat tightening up with every passing second. Watching as the cleaner came out of the room, Chris gave out a breath to relax himself before he walked down, bracing his hand against the wall as the cleaner looked up at him in curiousity.

"Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help. I managed to leave my room key in my friends room, and he forgot to give me his own so that I could go and get it. Would you be able to open the door for me so that I could retrieve it?"

On the inside, Chris may have been trembling with fear and nerves, but the lie slipped off his tongue with comparitive ease, and he let out a triumphant grin when the cleaner, after a few moments of thought, nodded her head briefly, before reaching into her trolley of equipment to pull out a battered key card. Handing it over, Chris promised that he'd return it to her as soon as he was done before he walked back up towards Alex's room, his fear suddenly rolling back over him in thick waves as he reached his hand out to swipe the card.

The light turned green, and Chris walked back down to return the card to the patiently waiting woman before waiting outside of the room. He hesitated; he didn't know what awaited him on the other side of the door, and the knowledge that it could be something meaningless, or incredibly bad, tied his stomach up in knots.

Waiting with growing nerves until the cleaner had walked past him and continued on further down the corridor towards the rest of the rooms, Chris let out a shaky sigh, his hands visibly trembling as he reached for the handle. Slowly pulling it down, he opened the door up just a crack, instantly noticing that it was dark inside. This fear ramped up slightly; he hadn't seen Alex anywhere else he'd looked, which meant he had to be in there, so why on earth would the light be switched off?

Pushing the door open a little bit more, Chris cleared his throat, knocking on the wood gently to try and gain anyone's attention if they were in there. The rapping of his hand echoed ominously inside the room, and Chris had to swallow down his fears as he tried to speak, finding it almost impossible against the dryness of his mouth.

"Hello? Alex, are you in dude?"

Taking a step into the room, Chris held his breath, trying to listen out for even the faintest sound which would suggest that Alex was in. Nothing. It was dead silent except for the delicate stepping of Chris' feet against the carpet and what almost sounded to Chris like the softest of breathing. Running his hand up the wall, Chris switched on the light, his eyes being blinded by the garish brightness as he let out a huffed groan; he supposed that it was a lesson for the future not to stay up drinking until gone Midnight the night before.

Blinking a couple of times to let his eyes adjust to the sudden influx of light, Chris gingerly took a couple of steps forward, peering his head around the doorframe for the kitchen. There was no-one in there, but there was no evidence to indicate that anyone had actually been in there at all that day. Continuing further into the room, Chris could hear the low thudding of his heartbeat gradually picking up speed as he inspected the bathroom. Again, there were no signs of life; the towels were slightly damp, and the shower curtain was stuck to the tiled wall, which suggested that somebody had been in there at some point though.

Letting out a sigh, Chris turned towards the closed bedroom door. Just the simple fact that every other door in the room had been left wide open and the bedroom door hadn't was enough to make alarm bells begin to ring in Chris' ears, and the fear he'd been trying to hold back as he'd explored the room began to hit him hard once more as he twisted the door handle, finding that the door was locked. Why the hell the door would be locked, Chris didn't know, but it instantly made the panic roil around in his gut. Frantically looking around, he found a small key sitting on the cabinet just next to the door, and Chris figured logically that it was the one that would open the door for him.

Putting the key in the door, his suspicions were confirmed when the lock clicked quietly, and Chris put the key back down where it was before standing in front of the door. Every instinct in his body was beginning to scream and shout at him that there was something seriously wrong, and that was just putting Chris on edge; his intuition never usually led him astray when something felt this bad, especially when it came to Alex. Chris always knew when something was up with him, when he'd hurt himself or when he'd done something stupid, and it was this knowledge of his best friend that made him worry that little bit more as he very nervously undid the door.

It was dark, and as Chris glanced around the room trying to find a light switch, he could make out what almost looked to be a shadow on the floor next to what he was assuming was the bed. It seemed way too big to be some discarded clothing, and Chris could have sworn when he focused in on it through the darkness of the room that it was barely moving about. His heart frantically pounding away in his chest, Chris desperately felt around the wall for the damned light switch, his entire arm shaking with fear and adrenaline as he finally turned it on.

"Shit!"

Chris briefly froze in place as shock ran through his entire body. There, laying on the floor next to the bed in a crumpled heap, was Alex, completely unconscious, his chest and ribs softly rising and falling with every shallow and silent breath. His eyes rushing around the floor next to Alex and on the bed, Chris could see dark puddles and spots of red decorating the sheets and carpet, and in that second, the anger that was boiling in Chris was threatening to explode as he gazed back down at Alex's battered body.

However, despite all of his rage, his overwhelming concern and panic for Alex's condition took priority, and Chris darted forwards, dropping down to his knees by Alex's stomach as he reached out his hand, placing it firmly on Alex's shoulder as he shook him softly, trying to rouse him. As he did so, Chris eyes became glued to Alex's downturned face, and he cupped his other hand under Alex's cheek, gently twisting his head so that he could get a better look at him.

As the sight of Alex's face came into view, Chris visibly winced as he cursed loudly, his attempts to bring Alex round growing more and more frantic by the second as the severity of Alex's condition was revealed. There were thick purple and black bruises wrapped around his throat and jaw, and the beginnings of two black eyes underneath the swelling of his cheeks. Dried streaks of blood covered most of the bottom half of Alex's face that had come from what Chris was pretty adamant was a broken nose judging by the nasty looking dip in the middle of it, and his lip had been nastily split open again, fresh spots of blood beading delicately along the torn skin. He looked more like a car-crash victim than someone who'd been beaten up, and that did nothing to soothe the desperate fear and worry that was crashing over Chris, his eyes welling up slightly as his iron grip on his emotions unravelled.

"Alex, come on dude, work with me here. Just give me a sign that you can hear me, okay? Please Alex, I'm begging you here man, just do something, anything! Please!"

Chris' voice broke off into a half choked gasp as he shook Alex's shoulder with growing force, his fingertips biting into the skin just slightly. Changing Alex's position in case he ended up being sick, Chris manouvered himself behind Alex, lifting Alex's head up carefully to rest it on his knee as he cast a glance down the length of Alex's back, feeling the emotional wave of fury and protection surge over him again even stronger than before. From the base of Alex's spine to the back of his already abused throat, there were welted stripes of deep black bruising, almost all of the edges split and torn as dribbles of blood continued to run over the heaily swollen and damaged skin.

Casting his gaze back around the room, Chris' eyes became locked onto a thin leather belt that lay strewn on the floor, and Chris instantly knew exactly what had happened to Alex; he'd been viciously whipped to within an inch of his life, and the red mark on the base of his back told Chris that Alex had had no way of escape from the torture that had been inflicted on him. Even as the anger flared up his spine, Chris couldn't help the desperate guilt and sadness that shook him to the core; if he'd gone with Alex the night before, or actually taken the leap of faith to ask Alex to stay the night with him, then this might not of happened, and that was something that tore Chris up inside.

Chris ran his hand softly down the length of Alex's ribs, frantically praying that they hadn't been too seriously hurt during the assault, but the deep cuts and scratches from what must of been the metal belt buckle suggested otherwise. As he gently laid the palm of his hand against Alex's chest, Chris could feel the vibrations of Alex's heart beat pulse through his fingers, and although at any other time, Chris would have absolutely killed for that kind of intimate contact, Chris couldn't focus on his own desires when Alex was as badly injured as he was.

Chris' fingers dug just a little bit sharper into Alex's shoulder as he continued to shake him, and Chris felt an overwhelming rush of relief run through him when Alex flinched at the touch, a rasped hiss of pain coming from him as he curled up on himself slightly. It was at that moment that Chris noticed the way that Alex was instinctively clutching his previously injured hand into his body, and as he watched the blue-tinged fingers tremble violently, Chris couldn't stop himself from reaching down to clasp his hand softly over Alex's, having to bit his lip hard with guilt at the way that Alex tried to move his hand away unsuccessfully as a scared whimper left his throat, streaks of tears beginning to roll down his face from his still shut eyes.

"Alex," Chris soothed, tears welling up further in his own eyes at the tension that still wracked Alex's body as Alex tried frantically and failed to dislodge his hand from Chris' secure grip again. "Alex, it's me. I swear on my life I'm not going to hurt you, okay? It's just you and me, and I really need you to stay calm for me, please? I just want to look at your hand, okay?"

Chris let out a sad half-smile when Alex barely relaxed into him, his entire body shaking with held-back sobs of agony as the tears continued to stream down his face. Lacing his fingers delicately through Alex's other hand, Chris gave a soft squeeze of thanks as he lifted Alex's injured hand up slightly into his line of sight, letting out a huff of sympathy at the state of his hand.

Besides the light blue tinge that his fingertips had taken on, his hand was heavily bruised and freshly swollen, and as Chris inspected it carefully, he noticed that 3 of Alex's knuckles were out of line with the others; they were clearly dislocated, Chris thought as the anger bubbled up again briefly. As he ran his thumb softly across the top of Alex's hand, Alex let out another sharp whimper of pain, squeezing down weakly on Chris' intertwined fingers as he let out a hiccuped sob, his back pulsing in sheer, unadulterated agony from even the most gentle of movements.

Although the condition of Alex's hand was one of the last things Chris could honestly care about in that moment of time when compared to the rest of Alex's body, he prayed that by showing just a little bit of care, Alex would trust him enough to let him help him out; his attempts were rewarded when Alex leaned back further into Chris' stomach, giving another weak squeeze to Chris' interlaced finger as he coughed and wretched violently, still struggling frantically to get some air into his lungs.

Alex whimpered and cried out softly in pain, and Chris automatically ran his hand down the length of Alex's ribs as delicately as possible, before stopping to rest his palm against Alex's abdomen. His fingertips began to rub small gentle circles into the tense muscles, and Chris couldn't help but give a sigh when Alex flinched in fear again, balling up as best as he could in order to protect himself. Chris reluctantly let go of Alex's hand as he let his fingers run soothingly through Alex's blood-matted hair, desperately trying to think of things that he could do.

The tension slowly began to leave Alex's body, and his head lolled listlessly on Chris' knee as his breathing became very laboured and shallow; Chris instantly panicked, brushing the backs of his fingers down Alex's bruised and bloody cheek as he picked up his attempts to wake him up properly before anything worse happened to him.

"Alex, I need you to open your eyes for me, okay?" Chris asked firmly, but his voice was filled with concern and worry as his fingertips continued to stroke over Alex's face, trying hard not to cause him any further pain or discomfort.

Chris held his breath for a few seconds, frantically pleading that Alex would listen to him. Alex's uninjured hand trembled viciously as he ran it over the floor towards his stomach, and Chris immediately picked up on his implicit beg, leaning slighty over him so that he could re-lace their fingers together. Giving Alex's hand a soft squeeze of encouragement and reassurance, Chris gave a sigh of relief when he noticed Alex's eyes flicker just a little bit. They barely opened before Alex screwed them shut again, groaning at the extremely horrid brightness that invaded his sensitive eyes.

"That's good Alex, that's really good," Chris praised warmly, his thumb massaging the soft skin of Alex's hand as he intertwined their fingers tighter. "Now come on, you've got to try that again, okay?"

Alex's eyes opened again, and Chris watched as he blinked a few times to try and adjust to the light. His eyes were glazed over and dilated, and they almost looked like they were swimming around in his head as he let them slip shut for a tense few seconds before reopening them. He was clearly concussed; Chris knew concussions like the back of his hand after the amount he'd suffered during his career, and he could tell without a shadow of a doubt that Alex obviously had a bad one. To be honest though, he wasn't really surprised considering the extent of the bruising and swelling to his face.

Quickly flicking through his mind, Chris tried to think of the procedure that was needed to keep Alex awake for long enough until he could feel comfortable letting him go to sleep. As he did so, he realised that this was the perfect opportunity to try and get a little bit of information out of Alex; sure, it might not work depending on just how messed up his memory was, but it was a chance that Chris couldn't afford to miss as he cupped the side of Alex's face gently.

"Right Alex, do you know what the day is?"

Chris watched tentatively as Alex's face drew down into a slight frown, his breathing raspy and soft as he tried to speak. It took a few attempts before any sound actually came out Alex's mouth, and even then it was practically a whisper that had Chris bending right down close to Alex's face to be able to hear him.

"Monday? Friday? I don't know."

Alex's words were heavily slurred and barely coherent, but he just about answered anyway. Chris gave their fingers a squeeze of reassurance, feeling slightly more relieved now that Alex was just about able to respond to him, even if it did sound like he was horribly drunk. Waiting a few moments as Alex's eyes briefly drifted shut again, Chris kept quiet until Alex had half focused his gaze on his again before he pressed on with his next question.

"Okay, that's fine. Do you know what my name is?"

"Chris." There was absolutely no delay in Alex's answer this time, and Chris couldn't help but notice the sudden sadness that entered Alex's eyes as more tears slowly began to run down Alex's face. "Y'not real... Just a dream..."

Chris could've almost sworn that he felt his heart break at the flurry of emotion that rolled over Alex as he let out a half-choked sob of agony, his gaze turning downwards as he kept muttering "not real" under his breath, his words running together in a childish kind of fashion that Chris knew was due to the concussion.

Chris' answer stuck in his throat as his mouth ran dry, tears welling up in his own eyes as his own control evaporated further. Giving Alex's hand a squeeze, Chris was suddenly overwhelmed by his desire to prove to Alex that this was more than just a dream; taking a deep breath, Chris leaned down over Alex once more, placing a soft, loving kiss on Alex's bloodied lips. There was nothing sexual about it; it was just a pure, simple kiss that revealed everything about the depth and strength of Chris' feelings for Alex, one that was more than platonic affection, but had all of Chris' emotions poured into it as he felt Alex's lips mold to the shape of his own, gently returning the gesture.

Alex was almost becoming convinced that he was dead and had gone to heaven when he felt the warmth of Chris' mouth against his own; Chris' lips were just like Alex had dreamt, soft and smooth as they pressed tenderly against his own rough and torn ones. All of the pain that Alex had been feeling melted away in that very instant, and all Alex could feel was the heat of Chris' skin, the gentle caress of Chris' fingers laced through his own, and those tear-shot blue eyes staring into the very core of his damaged and broken soul.

After a few moments, Chris reluctantly pulled away, his breath warm and damp against Alex's face as he let out the sigh he'd unwittingly been holding back during the kiss. Alex was staring up at Chris glassy-eyed, but Chris couldn't miss the pure shock and disbelief that flashed through Alex's expression. Running his thumb across his bottom lip, Chris wanted nothing more than to do it again, to kiss the life out of Alex and soothe away all of his pain, hurt and misery, but he knew now wasn't the time.

If anything, a pang of guilt briefly ran through him; he shouldn't of done that. Even though there was the possibility that Alex wouldn't remember it whatsoever judging by the state he was in, he'd just taken advantage of him, and Chris couldn't help but feel temporarily annoyed with himself as self-anger began to burn in his gut. It wasn't until he realised that Alex was giving him a hazy, lopsided smile that the fire was instantly quenched, and Chris almost felt his heart stop briefly at the unparalleled depth of emotion swimming around Alex's glazed eyes. Feeling his cheeks start to burn red with embarrassment, Chris suddenly realised what he was meant to be doing, and he gave a slight cough to clear his rather dry throat.

"Okay, good," Chris mumbled awkwardly, and he could've sworn that he heard the faintest huff of laughter leave Alex before he let out another sharp whimper of pain, Chris hand instantly running through his hair again to soothe him. "Now, I need you to tell me the truth Alex, okay? Promise me."

Chris bit down on his lip as Alex weakly nodded his head, instantly coughing and wretching in dizzy nausea from the movement as his head throbbed viciously. Chris took a deep breath of courage, squeezing down on Alex's hand once more as he tried to pull together all of his strength to be able to finally ask Alex what he desperately wanted to know.

"Who did this to you, Alex? Please, just give me their name, because they need to be stopped before they do anything like this again. Please Alex, for your own sake, just tell me who hurt you."

Chris could've almost sworn that his heart stopped beating whilst he waited for Alex to respond to his beg for information. Alex's face had paled a few shades as he began to shake softly, tears beginning to roll down his face again as he let his eyes drift shut once more. A suffocating silence descended on the room as Chris watched Alex struggle with his own fears and terror to be able to answer him, his quiet sobs of pain and agony starting to come back again as he turned his head down to the floor, unable to look Chris in the eye as he finally drew together every last ounce of strength he possessed to open his mouth one last time.

"AJ..."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So, I had a little bit of spare time to myself what with college beginning to wrap up for another year, so I decided to make the most of the time to get some more done on this! Hopefully, you'll all enjoy it :_)_ **

**As always, any and all reviews are highly appreciated, so feel free to leave your opinions :)**

**Unfortunately, I will never own any of the guys who decide to pop their heads up, and that's including the rather sexy Guns :(**

**Enjoy guys! :)**_  
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><p><em>"Don't you fucking hide from me Alex Shelley! Get your fucking ass out here this damn second, or I swear to fucking God that I'm going to break your fucking worthless neck!" AJ roared, anger cascading from him as he kicked at the bathroom door hard, hearing the softest of breathing coming from within.<em>

_Alex was frozen to the spot, the only movement being the violent tremors that were pulsating in the pit of his stomach. Tears were pricking at his eyes as he wiped away the small crimson river that was trickling from his lip, the blood filling his mouth with a sickly copper taste. He could barely move his jaw, and as he ran his fingertips softly over his skin, he couldn't help but hiss in pain from the deeply swollen bruise that was beginning to form. He hadn't been in there long; he'd fled after he'd seen the vicious mood that AJ was in, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that it would mean bad news for him if he even spoke one word out of place. _

_Since the second AJ had arrived back at their room, Alex could feel the anger and irritation crashing from him in thick waves, and once AJ had kicked a hole into the door, picking up the closest thing to him and throwing it hard at the opposite wall, Alex knew that this wasn't going to end well. AJ's temper had started to shorten quite dramatically since he'd been passed over for the title, and Alex was now beginning to recognise the signs for when he was likely to be in for a more violent beating than normal; Alex flinched at the sound of the vase shattering against the wall, and he couldn't help but cower in fear when AJ turned his eyes towards him, blistering anger scrawled across his face._

_"Who the fuck said you could look at me?" AJ had screamed venomously, his entire body trembling with fury as he picked up a book that had been left on the side, unleashing every inch of his strength as he lobbed it straight at Alex._

_Alex had no time to move or even react when the book came flying towards him, and he let out a strangled yelp when it hit him hard square in the face. Pain immediately exploded through his jaw and cheek, and as Alex instinctively cupped his hand to his face in a futile attempt to stop the wave of numbing heat that was running through his mouth, he could feel something beginning to drip from his already puffy bottom lip. _

_Alex could see AJ storming over towards him, and in that instant, Alex panicked. He broke the biggest rule that he possibly could; he turned his back on AJ, running straight to the bathroom when he came within arm's length. AJ's hand gripped tight around Alex's shirt, yanking him back towards him as AJ swung his fist wildly, trying to connect with Alex, but Alex was somehow able to shrug his shirt off, and he used the opportunity to disappear inside the bathroom before slamming the door shut and locking it frantically, his hands violently shaking as he tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall._

_That had led to now. The heavy pounding and shaking on the door hadn't let up for even a second since Alex had entered the bathroom, and Alex knew that as time went on, it was only going to get more worse until AJ literally broke the door off of its hinges to get at him; that was something that honestly scared the shit out of Alex. The only other option he had was to willingly leave his safe haven and face the wrath of AJ before he got too angry; he'd still face absolute hell, but AJ was less likely to break something like he had done last time. It took weeks for Alex's collarbone to heal up after his last fully fledged beating, and Alex didn't - he couldn't - dare to risk it again._

_Trying to bury all his fear and self doubt, Alex reluctantly stepped towards the door, his hand visibly shaking with fear as he rested it on the handle. His heart was thudding in his chest, temporarily drowning out the sound of AJ's enraged banging on the door; the last thing Alex wanted was to go out there and face AJ, but what other choice did he have? There was no other way of leaving the room, and the longer he left it, the worse and worse AJ would become until he would practically murder Alex for disobeying him; that was something that had Alex shivering in pure unadulterated fear as he took a deep breath, unlocking the door._

_The lock had barely clicked when the door was swung open forcefully, almost being pulled out of the doorframe as AJ stood there, glaring at Alex with such anger and malice that Alex was almost wishing he could die on the spot just to avoid what he knew was coming. Alex was frozen, unable to move a muscle as AJ marched towards him, kicking the door shut behind him to make sure that Alex had absolutely no form of escape from what he deserved. A hand wrapped itself viciously tight around Alex's throat as AJ backed him up hard into the sink, smashing his head off of the wall._

_"Now, we'll see what happens when you _really_ manage to piss me off, you pathetic cunt!"_

Alex awoke with a start, his breathing fast and heavy as tears welled in his eyes. Blinking rapidly, the nightmare gradually began to dissipate from his mind, but that didn't make Alex feel any safer or more calm as warm streaks began to run down his face. His entire body was wracked with agonising pain, and as Alex tried to move even slightly to find a more comfortable position, he let out a small cry, a hiccuped sob threading itself through his throat. He'd never felt anything more excruciating as his back throbbed mercilessly, his throat still heavily swollen and tight from the abuse he'd been forced to endure.

Opening his eyes fully, panic began to pulse through Alex when he realised he wasn't in his room; this room was way too clean. There was no broken furniture or splinters of wood and glass littering the floor. His gaze swimming around, his breath caught in his throat when he finally saw that he was laying on a bed; he couldn't remember being on a bed. In fact, he couldn't remember anything but white hot pain and desperate fear, then everything going black. He could briefly visualise a time when he could've sworn he saw a shadow hanging over the top of him, felt something warm and soft pressing against his lips and a hand running gently through his hair, but he couldn't tell if it was a dream or not. He assumed it was, but looking around this completely foreign room, he couldn't be entirely sure.

His head pounded as he tried to make sense of what was happening to him, and as the pressure in his head reached fever-point, he coughed and wretched violently, bile rushing up his throat and filling his mouth as he tried to stop himself from being violently sick. His ribs protested vehemently at the abrupt movement, and Alex couldn't help but let out another sharp whimper of pain as he started to sob in agony. Nothing seemed to fit together in his head, everything was a blurred mess of pain and darkness, and this confusion and panic scared the shit out of Alex.

He didn't know what the fuck was going on, and when he heard the soft padding of feet across the floor, he frantically curled up on himself, his arms wrapped weakly around his head to protect himself from whatever onslaught he was going to be subjected to next. It wouldn't have been the first time that AJ had given him to somebody else for the night so that they could have whatever sick fun they wanted to have with him before returning him, battered, raped and abused to AJ the next morning for the humiliating torture to continue, and as a hazy shadow came into his line of view, Alex presumed the worse, his entire body tense in anticipation of the strike he knew was going to come.

"Alex, hey, calm down a little bit. You're totally safe, it's just me, okay? It's just me."

As the soft, concerned voice entered his ears, Alex did anything but calm down. It couldn't be Chris, it just couldn't be; it was all just a sick dream. This was nothing more than just a cruel, horrific trick to lull him into a false sense of security before the real beating came, and Alex couldn't help but curl up on himself further when the blurry figure came and sat down on the bed next to him, his sobs and cries of agony becoming more and more desperate. A hand came to rest gently on his shoulder, and Alex screamed in fear, flinching so damn violently that Chris was almost convinced he was going to have a heart attack as Alex began to hyperventilate, his throat closing up on him as he started to panic.

"Alex, woah! Relax, okay? There's nobody else here, it's just you and me, I'm not lying to you I swear. You're in my room now. I...I couldn't leave you there, not with the state you're in."

Even with all of the panic and fear that was racing through him, Alex couldn't help but find comfort in the voice that was sounding more and more like Chris, more and more real, through all of the noise and thudding that was beating through his ears. Still not daring to let his guard down in case it all turned out to be nothing more than a joke, Alex let his eyes open just a crack. Everything was blurred and hazy, and the light made him feel incredibly sick, but as he gathered together all of his energy to focus on the shadow in front of him, Chris' outline began to clear until Alex was positive that what he was seeing was no longer a dream. Upon the realisation that it was truly Chris sitting in front of him and not just a figment of his imagination, Alex completely broke down into sobs of agonised relief, all of the tension leaving his broken and battered body as he gave up fighting.

Tears welled up in Chris' own eyes at the state that Alex was in, and he couldn't stop himself from reaching over to run his fingers delicately through Alex's hair to try and soothe him. He let out a sad sigh when he realised that Alex was so far gone in his pain and torment that he didn't even have the strength to flinch or show any reaction to his touch other than to sob and cry hysterically, the tears continuing to stream down his face as he shook violently.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay, I'm not going to let you go back there, no matter what."

Chris hoped that his words would help Alex calm down a little bit now that Alex would start to realise he wasn't in his and AJ's room, but as Alex carried on shaking and sobbing like he hadn't heard a single word that Chris said, Chris let out a sigh, his fingers teasing softly through Alex's blood-matted hair. It seemd like Alex was definitely reacting to his presence though; his body had relaxed as much as it could considering the severity of Alex's injuries, and his sobs had begun to come a lot less frequently. When Alex turned his glassy gaze on him, Chris couldn't help but give him a slight smile of reassurance, his thumb straying from its position to stroke tenderly over Alex's bruised cheek.

They both stayed there for what seemed like hours, Alex's sobs gradually becoming quieter and quieter until they eventually stopped as Chris' fingers continued their comforting rhythm against the side of Alex's head. Silence descended over the room, only broken by Alex's shallow, stuttered breaths as he tried to control the pain that was pounding through his entire body relentlessly, and Chris, after one last gentle rub of Alex's face, stood up before disappearing into another room.

Alex just stayed there, barely able to register Chris' movement but still immediately feeling it anyway; his safety net, his unwavering protection had suddenly been removed, and all of that fear and panic he'd been trying to release was starting to roll back over him, but before he could take hold once more, Chris returned, a glass of water and a box of tablets in one hand, and a cloth in the other.

At the sight of Chris' fingers curled around the glass, Alex instinctively tried to flex his own hand, letting out a sharp hiss at the burning pain that exploded in his knuckles and fingers. He cradled it slightly into his chest, still unable to prevent himself from naturally protecting himself against what he was still scared could happen. He tried to remember what had happened to his hand to make it as agonisingly sore as it was, and as the broken memories of AJ roughly twisting and slamming his fist into his hand came flashing back into his mind, Alex couldn't help but tense up again as his hand began to tremble from the pain that was throbbing through it.

Chris sat back down, placing the items on the cabinet next to the bed as he looked down over Alex's body. The bruises were starting to darken further now, and Chris couldn't help but wince at the sheer state of them as they turned deep shades of purple and black. The heavy bleeding from his back and his nose had stopped as well, staining most of the unbruised parts of Alex's body a disturbing shade of red, but Chris was ready to change that. It all just depended on how much Alex was willing to trust him so that he could wash Alex down. Noticing that Alex's attention was all preoccupied with his broken hand, Chris let out another sigh as he clasped Alex's shoulder softly, dismayed but not at all surprised at the flinch Alex gave in return.

"3 of your fingers were pretty badly dislocated, I had to pop them back in whilst you were sleeping. I'm pretty sure that you've really done some major damage to your hand too, so I'm guessing that whatever AJ did was nasty."

Alex froze. Chris knew. But how the hell did he know? Alex had been so damn careful not to reveal anything to anybody, even to Chris, so knowing that Chris knew it was AJ was enough to make Alex panic. Chris was now going to end up going after AJ, and if Chris ended up getting hurt because of something he'd said, Alex wasn't sure what he'd do to himself. Chris saw Alex's reaction to his mention of AJ's name, and he mentally began to worry. His own fears beginning to grow, Chris decided to take a big risk.

"You don't remember telling me, do you?" He asked softly.

Alex just laid there, staring at Chris with a slight frown pulling at his features as he went over everything that had happened to him. He could remember fragments of the beating, he could remember the pain and the darkness that was creeping up on him, then after that kick to the face, absolutely nothing until he woke up in Chris' bed. He briefly remembered his seconds of lucidity that he was now becoming convinced wasn't a dream, but there was nothing else in the black void that seemed to hang over his head. After a few tense moments, Alex softly shook his head, immediately wishing he hadn't when a thick wave of dizziness and nausea washed over him, making him feel like he was going to throw up.

Chris' face fell. Alex couldn't remember anything. He couldn't remember revealing AJ's identity to him, and that meant just one thing to Chris; Alex most likely couldn't remember the kiss either, and that painful bit of knowledge made Chris' heart clench in his chest and his gut knot up as he briefly gazed down at the bed. He _had_ taken advantage of Alex purely to placate his own desires, and that made the self-loathing and anger that Chris had experienced beforehand temporarily flare up, before he reigned his control back in and focused at the problem on hand.

"Well, I found you in your room, totally knocked out on the floor by the bed. I was able to wake you up, and you were totally out of it, not much worse than you are now to be perfectly honest. I was trying to gauge how bad your memory was fucked up, and I knew that at any other time you'd refuse to tell me, so I asked you who it was who's been doing this to you, and you told me. You said it was AJ."

Confusion struck Alex through all of the pain and fear that was still ripping through his body, and Alex couldn't help but drop his gaze down to the bed out of shame. He knew that Chris would never lie to him about anything, certainly nothing this important, and the images that Alex could now see running rampant through Chris' mind about him being beaten to within an inch of his life by AJ were enough to make the tears start to roll down his face once more. Even to his best friend, he felt utterly humiliated; it was a feeling that possessed Alex long ago, one that he was sure was never going to leave him.

Chris instantly noticed the tears that were running down Alex's face again, and his breath caught in his throat at the distant, glazed look in Alex's eyes as Alex completely withdrew into himself, quiet sobs being threaded through his swollen throat. Chris knew that Alex was suffering, and he knew that some of it was obviously down to the fact that Chris finally had an identity for the man who'd been causing Alex all of his pain and misery; he detested the idea of making Alex feel so wretched and depressed, and Chris immediately decided to change his tact in getting Alex to calm down and relax even a little bit around him.

"Alex, I'm going to need you to sit up for me so I can have a look at your face and clean up the blood a little. D'you reckon you can do that for me, or are you gonna need a little bit of help moving?"

After a few minutes, the words seemed to sink into Alex's brain, and Alex looked up at Chris with something close to fearful questioning. Why would Chris want to take care of him now that he knew what had been happening to him? It had been drummed into him for months that he was a dirty, worthless slut, and it had become so far ingrained into him that Alex couldn't help but think it about himself almost constantly; the idea that someone cared for him, let alone would willingly want to touch him, was something that sent up alarm bells in Alex's mind.

Any time he dared to trust somebody for even a second, that trust was thrown straight back in his face. He'd always trusted Chris with his life though, even since the moment they'd first met, and it was this adoration in his best friend that conflicted with his dire experiences of believing people to be nice and protective. Those were the people that usually tended to end up being the worst to him; after all, that's what he'd thought about AJ when they'd first gotten together, and he'd revealed his true colours to be the most evil, abusive bastard on the face of the earth.

Alex's entire body going tense on him, he took a deep breath before bracing his hands on the mattress, trying to muster the strength to move. As he put all of his weight onto his broken hand though, he buckled, letting out a sharp whimper of pain as he crashed back down onto the bed. His eyes screwed shut in pain, he didn't even register the arm that had crept around his waist, nor the hand that clasped his shoulder softly.

It was only when he felt himself being moved that Alex instinctively began to panic as his own darkened memories began to assault his mind mercilessly, his breath coming in heavy and fast gasps as his gaze swam about in his head, the tears of worry and fear continuing to roll down his face. His good hand beginning to lash out and claw at whatever he could reach out of sheer adrenaline, Alex heard a slight hiss coming from Chris, and in that instant he was brought back to reality with a crash.

The nightmarish haze of his flashback finally lifting from in front of his eyes, he tried to focus in a little bit on Chris through the tears and the blurriness that tainted his vision. As the fuzziness began to die away, he noticed 4 long red scratch marks down Chris' left cheek, and he immediately began to fear for his safety. Fighting back against whatever was going to happen usually resulted in him getting an even worse beating than normal; still scared about the temper that Chris had displayed the day beforehand on the way back from the hospital, Alex couldn't help but curl up on himself, violent tremors beginning to rip through his body as he let out a choked sob of pain and terror, steeling himself for the strike he knew without a shadow of a doubt was going to be coming.

It didn't.

Chris' hand softly cupped Alex's cheek, his thumb tenderly stroking away the stray tears rolling down his face. Alex took a few deep breaths, trying his best to release the fear and panic that had tensed his body and failing rather miserably; his entire body shook out of pure exhaustion, pain and adrenaline, and his eyes drifted close for a brief few moments, almost like he was on the verge of passing out again. Chris let out a sad sigh at the sorry state Alex was in, mentally berating himself for even thinking of touching him in that way whilst he was still so on edge and agonisingly vulnerable. The deep scratches on his face stung like fuck, but Chris didn't care about them; they weren't as important as taking care of Alex at that moment in time, and they never would be.

"I'm sorry Alex," Chris' voice was laced with deep regret and guilt. "I didn't mean to scare you like that. I just wanted to make sure that you didn't injure your hand any worse.

A ghost of a smile passed over Alex's face before it disappeared completely, but Chris was content with that; returning a warm grin of his own, his fingertips briefly played with the tips of Alex's hair before he withdrew his hand, reaching for the box and glass on the table next to him. Pulling out a strip of tablets, Chris popped one out into his hand, before offering it to Alex.

Alex looked at it with something akin to sceptical fear; he'd had drugs physically forced down his throat before to apparently ease his pain and tension, and all they'd done was lead to a night of absolute torture as AJ took advantage of his lethargic state for his own amusement. Quickly reminding himself as best as he could that Chris wasn't like that, he accepted the chalky white pill, slowly swallowing the tablet down to avoid overworking his incredibly bruised and swollen throat, before following it up with a few delicate sips of the water. The water did nothing to soothe Alex's mouth and throat, and as he gulped a mouthful down, he briefly spluttered and coughed from the pain it caused, before recovering himself and handing both back over to Chris, who gave him a smile of comforting reassurance in return.

Alex sat there awkwardly, his gaze drawn down to the bed out of discomfort, shame and worry. He didn't have the strength to be able to look Chris in the eye at that moment in time; he didn't want to see the disgust that he was adamant would be there. Nothing was further from the truth though. Chris let out a sigh at Alex's actions, his own eyes sparkling with sadness and deep concern as he grabbed the damp cloth off of the side. Turning back to face Alex, he hesitated; he didn't want to just reach out and touch him, especially considering the scratches he received in return last time, but at the same time he just couldn't help himself. Small, friendly gestures were really the only Chris had of putting over his affection and care, and he highly doubted that that would change in a hurry.

Reaching out his hand, Chris curled his fingers gently underneath Alex's chin, lifting his head up just enough so that Chris could make eye contact with him. The fear and panic that flashed prominently through Alex's eyes at the touch was enough to make Chris' heart clench up again, and it was only made worse when Alex let his eyes fall shut, trying and failing to turn his head out of Chris' grasp as he let out a quiet sob, tears starting to well and roll ever so slightly down his bruised cheeks. He didn't deserve this kind of adoration and attention. He didn't deserve to be looked upon; he was dirty and worthless, and that's all he ever would be. He didn't deserve Chris.

"Oh Alex," Chris whispered softly, his own iron-clad control beginning to break as he put the cloth back down on the bed. "Come here dude."

With those few words, the floodgates opened, and Alex leaned forward into Chris, burying his face into the curve of Chris' neck as he broke down completely. It took Chris a split second to react, wrapping his arms as carefully round Alex as he could to prevent hurting him further as Alex sobbed desperately, his entire body shaking as he released all of the pent up pain, hurt and anger that had been torturing him for months.

Chris let out a deep sigh, closing his own eyes to hold back the emotion he could feel welling up inside him as he rubbed his hand up and down Alex's back soothingly. Shifting slightly, Chris lowered one of his arms so that it wrapped around Alex's waist as Chris drew him even closer to himself, tightening his grip against the uncontrollable cries that wracked Alex's body.

Curling his hand gently around Alex's shoulder, Chris rested his head against Alex's, feeling Alex's hot, sticky breaths brush against his face. In any other situation, Chris would have killed for this kind of contact with Alex; Alex definitely wasn't one for displays of affection or emotion, but Chris couldn't blame him in the slightest for wanting some kind of release. Alex had to have been bottling things up for so long, Chris thought sadly, that it almost had to be a matter of time before everything caught up on him. Chris was just thankful that he was there for support; he didn't want to think about the sorts of things Alex would have done to himself if he'd been alone and had this breakdown.

"It's okay Alex. I swear to you that things are going to change. I'm not letting him come anywhere near you again, no matter what it takes."

Chris wasn't sure if Alex could hear him through the sounds of his sobs, but he didn't expect any kind of verbal response from his words; however, he knew that Alex had heard him when Alex let out a teary sigh against his neck, relaxing further into his body as his crying gradually began to calm. Chris didn't move though; he wasn't going to be the first to break the contact that Alex obviously wanted, so he waited, his hand softly running through Alex's hair until Alex shifted slightly in his grip, indicating that it was time to let him go.

Reluctantly, Chris withdrew his arms from around Alex's back, but even as Alex leaned back slightly so that he could look at Chris, Chris' hand didn't stop its soothing teasing through Alex's hair, his fingers occasionally straying to stroke behind Alex's ear and down the length of his neck. Alex looked a right state; his heavily bruised face was blotchy and damp, and his eyes were bloodshot and red from the tears that were still welling and pooling in the corners of his eyes, but that wasn't what drew Chris' attention.

What drew Chris' attention was the unparalleled depth of emotion that was swimming in Alex's glassy stare as he gazed at Chris' sadly, and when Alex's eyes met his, Chris' gut knotted up painfully, and he couldn't do anything but stare back as his breath hitched in his throat. Alex looked both lost and desperate, but what he was desperate for, Chris didn't know. However, as Chris went to question Alex, he was immediately cut off by the way that Alex's head tilted and leaned into his slightly, and Chris knew exactly what Alex was asking from him.

All he wanted was a moment of pure love and adoration to see him through whatever else happened to him, and despite his guilty reservations about their earlier forgotten kiss pounding through Chris' head, Chris didn't have the heart to deny him otherwise, not then. Chris' hand drifting to cup the back of Alex's neck, Chris let his thumb run tenderly across Alex's cheek, wiping away the stray tears as he looked directly into his eyes for the first time that day.

"Are you sure Alex? I don't want you to think you have to do this, because you don't."

Alex's eyes briefly dropped to the bed as Alex let out a deep, shaky sigh, but after a few seonds, he found the courage to stare at Chris again. Swallowing down all of the nerves and fear that was clawing at his pained throat, Alex closed the distance between them just slightly.

"Yeah," Alex whispered sadly, a ghost of a smile flicking his lips. "I'm sure. Just... give me something worth living for."

Chris' heart splintered at the sheer brokenness of Alex's rasped words, and as he watched the warm tears of hollow pleading run down Alex's face once more, Chris couldn't deny Alex even if he wanted to. Letting one of his hands find Alex's on the bed, Chris interlaced their fingers, giving a squeeze of reassurance and comfort that was immediately reciprocated by Alex without a second thought. Giving out a shallow sigh, Chris's head dropped just slightly as he moved closer to Alex, their mouths coming within millimetres of touching as Chris' felt Alex's breath bathe his face in warmth.

Taking a deep breath, Chris closed the last of the gap between them, pressing his lips very softly against Alex's. Alex instantly responded, his lips molding to Chris' own as he returned the slow burning kiss. Alex's broken hand crept from the bed to rest tentatively on Chris' thigh, and Chris couldn't help but deepen the kiss further at Alex's touch, his own hand trailing from the back of Alex's neck to cup his cheek, his thumb drifting around to rest on Alex's chin.

It felt like heaven to Alex as he lost himself in the swirl of emotions that were beginning to build inside him, his lips opening just a little bit to gain better purchase on Chris' mouth as he gave a blissful sigh, his fingers twining themselves further with Chris'. Chris' lips were warm and inviting, just like Alex had always dreamed them to be like on those bittersweet nights, and as they moved against his own, the tension completely left Alex's body. It had been months since he had been kissed with so much love and meaning, and the surge of feeling that welled up within him were almost enough to make him burst into tears once more.

Sinking deeper into the kiss, Alex could feel the tip of Chris' tongue draw across his bottom lip slowly. It was such a stark contrast to what he had become use to over the past 8 months; Chris was loving and giving in his attention, whereas AJ was rough and brutal, not allowing Alex to get any form of adoration or enjoyment out of anything they did together. However, as the seconds passed, AJ slipped further and further from his mind as he opened himself up emotionally, almost feeling naked as Chris' lips pressed softly with his own.

Alex's hand began to shake slightly out of nerves and fear as he let his lips fall open just slightly, and Chris immediately gave his hand another gentle squeeze, his thumb massaging small circles into the tense flesh to try and relax him as Chris slid his tongue leisurely into the heat of Alex's mouth, determined to give Alex something to remember. Alex froze out of instinct when Chris' tongue entered his mouth, but after a few moments of Chris' reassurance, Alex began to visibly calm down and fall further into Chris, Chris' thumb pressing undemandingly on Alex's chin to get him to open his mouth slightly more; Alex did, and he was immediately rewarded when Chris smiled against his lips, the greatest gesture that Alex had ever felt in his life as he tried to commit every detail of Chris' mouth and lips to memory.

Chris' tongue brushed against Alex's, and the jolt of heat and excitement that ran through Alex's body was one that had him starting to grin slightly in return, his own tongue beginning to play luxuriously with Chris' as Chris pulled him deeper into the kiss. Despite the comparative innocence of the kiss, Alex could feel the electricty and connection between them, and he couldn't help but devote a few seconds to imagining what it would be like to sleep with Chris. It would be passionate and breathtaking, an act of pure love between two lovers, and just the thought of it was enough to make Alex feel content and happy for the first time in months.

Neither one of them wanted to break away, but eventually the need for air began to interfere, and after one last tender kiss to Alex's slightly swollen lips, Chris, very reluctantly, pulled away. Chris gave a smile when Alex's hand automatically went up to his mouth, his thumb wiping incredibly softly and slowly across his bottom lip, as though to savor every last taste and feel of Chris' lips on his own. Unable to help himself, Chris couldn't stop himself from repeating Alex's actions, loving the sense memory of Alex's mouth pressing against his as Alex gave himsle fup to him, even if it was only for a short while.

Quite surprisingly to Alex, none of the fear and panic that he'd been expecting to roll back over him once they'd finished did, and he shot Chris a devastatingly heartbreaking smile, his eyes sparkling with tears of both worthiness and disbelief that he'd actually done it as he squeezed down on their interlaced fingers. Chris immediately did the same, his heart melting at the look of sheer relaxed happiness that Alex gave him. It was such a difference to the pain and suffering that had been in Alex's stare mere minutes beforehand, and Chris got the feeling that he'd fulfilled Alex's wishes of giving him something worth living for.

Enjoying the afterglow of their connection for a few more moments, Chris suddenly remembered what it was that he was going to do, and he sheepishly picked up the cloth beside them, holding it up in front of Alex's eyes as he continued to stroke his thumb over Alex's knuckles. Alex's gaze briefly dropped to his broken hand that was still resting on Chris' thigh before he looked back up at Chris, awaiting his instructions.

"You're gonna need to tip your head back for me so that I can check your nose out whilst I clean you up. That sound okay to you, Alex?"

Swallowing down the lump in his throat at the sheer level of affection in Chris' voice, Alex nodded his head just slightly to prevent himself from feeling sick. Chris' hand on the back of his head to stabilise him so that he didn't fall backwards onto the bed from the movement, Alex tipped his head back, gazing at Chris fondly down the length of his nose as Chris moved closer.

"Right, I'm going to sort you out, then we are going to sit down, and have an honest and open talk about what's been going on, okay? I just want to know the truth about what's been happening, otherwise I'm not going to be able to help you. Is that okay?"

Alex froze up slightly at the idea of having to vocalise every little detail of what had happened to him over the past 8 months; he didn't like the thought of Chris being disgusted or angry at him for the sheer level of brutality and torture he'd been forced to endure by AJ, but as the very real memory of their kiss came back to him for the first of what would probably be millions of times, the tension slowly left Alex's body. Giving Chris a slight smile, Alex nodded his head again, loving the rush of warmth and serenity that washed over him as Chris gave him a bright, comforting grin in return, squeezing down on their intertwined fingers.

Letting out a sigh as the damp cloth touched the bruised and bloodied skin of his face, Alex couldn't help but feel relaxed, even happy, for the first time in a long while. Maybe this feeling wouldn't last, Alex thought realistically, but it was just enough to make him feel real again, and that was all that truly mattered.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I apologise hugely for the delay in this chapter, for things are now all fixed, so I decided to take advantage to post up the next chapter of this! I hope you all enjoy!**

**Thank you very much for all of the reviews I've recieved so far, I'm incredibly grateful for them! Remember, any and all reviews are highly appreciated!**

**Annoyingly, I will never own anyone who decides to pop their heads up in this fic :(**

**Enjoy guys! :)**

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><p>Alex let out a slight hiss of pain as the damp cloth was pressed softly and carefully against his upper back. As Chris went to move his hand to start to wash away the vast volume of dried blood, Alex failed to stifle a whimper, flinching away from Chris' touch as his hand tightened its death grip on Chris' thigh. Chris gave a sigh, feeling guilty about the level of pain that he knew Alex was going to have to go through, and he reached his free hand around Alex's tense body to lace over the top of Alex's, giving him a gentle squeeze of comfort and reassurance.<p>

Alex was nestled between Chris' legs, one of Chris' feet lazily stroking up and down Alex's calf in a soothing sort of way. There was a considerately made cup of black coffee sitting on the cabinet beside the bed; it was something that had always managed to calm and relax Alex, regardless of whatever had happened to him, and considering Alex was taking some much needed painkillers, it was the closest thing Alex was going to be able to get to some form of liquid comfort, and Chris didn't think he'd be able to deny Alex anything that he truly needed at that moment in time.

Chris had taken the time to make the coffee after Alex had gritted his teeth as Chris had washed and examined his face, Chris knowing that it had to be absolutely agonising for him to go through considering how swollen and painful his nose and cheek looked, even to him. Alex's hand had grasped onto Chris' thigh so hard whilst he was cleaning him up as carefully as he could that Chris wasn't at all surprised to see the start of faint, fingertip bruises on his skin, and when Alex looked at him with something akin to fear at what he'd accidently done, Chris had just given him a warm smile in return, telling him not to worry about it. He did kind of deserve it after all for having to give Alex a little bit of pain; what was it to recieve a bit back?

The thick bruising on Alex's face looked vicious, and the horrible swelling around his nose and eyes suggested to Chris that Alex had indeed had his nose broken, especially when he saw the nasty dip in the middle of it. Alex's lip had been split open again as well, pretty deeply by the looks of things, and as the blood had been cleaned up, Chris could make out what seemed to be the outline of a trainer print on Alex's jaw and cheek. When he'd asked Alex if he could remember what AJ had done to him, it had taken Alex a few minutes to admit that he couldn't remember a single thing after being pushed onto the floor by AJ, and the anger briefly flared up in Chris' gut again at Alex's admittance. AJ was definitely going to pay for this.

Waiting a brief few seconds until the tension began to leave Alex's body, Chris tried again; softly turning over Alex's hand, he intertwined their fingers palm to palm, giving another gentle squeeze. Alex let out a sigh as he returned the gesture without hesitation, and he bit down hard on his split bottom lip to hold back his whimpers and hisses of pain as Chris, incredibly nervously and carefully, began to move the cloth attentively across Alex's neck and shoulderblades.

As tiny pink-hued streaks and drops of blood stained water began to run down Alex's back before being absorbed by Chris' jeans and the bedcovers beneath them, the deep bruises that had previously been hidden became visible, and Chris couln't help but wince at the sheer state of them. Unable to prevent himself, he cursed under his breath, trying to keep his voice quiet in an attempt not to gain Alex's attention; of course, it didn't work. Alex tensed up again at Chris' muttered words, and he couldn't help but have the slightest urge to ask to see what Chris was so taken aback by. He quickly dismissed the thought though; the very last thing he ever wanted to do was to see the evidence and have to accept without a shadow of a doubt that what had happened to him actually real.

Chris could see everything though, and he couldn't stop himself from dropping the cloth onto the bed beside them. Thick black and blue stripes emblazoned Alex's flesh, the edges split and weeping as fresh beads of blood formed in the deep cuts, dribbling down Alex's back. His neck and shoulders - and most likely the rest of his back, Chris concluded rather logically - was heavily swollen and tender, the skin between each frenzied, nasty bruise flushed an angry red and radiating so much heat against Chris' hand that Chris honestly believed that Alex could've been seconds away from bursting into flames. Chris' mind flashed back to the leather belt he'd seen in Alex's room, and the rage he'd been trying to hold back burned up in his gut fiercely.

So help him, he was going to fucking murder AJ when the time was right. As much as it pained Chris to admit it though, the right time wasn't then, and wouldn't come around for a good little while yet.

Instead, his thoughts immediately switched back to Alex, and he focused all of his pent up energy and emotion on putting Alex at ease and making sure that he was okay. Snaking his arm around Alex's waist, Chris let his fingertips massage delicate circles into the tense muscle of Alex's abdomen, feeling the way that Alex instinctively flinched away for a brief moment before visibly forcing himself to calm down, relaxing into Chris' touch. Leaning forward slightly to avoid putting any pressure on Alex's obviously excruciatingly painful back, Chris placed a tender kiss on the unmarked skin on the back of Alex's neck, his eyes drifting shut as he tightened his grip on Alex's hand just a little bit further.

Chris heard Alex's shaky, tear-filled sigh as he molded himself as close to Chris' body as he physically could, and Chris' heart clenched in his chest at the tears that he already knew had to be welling up in Alex's eyes. Whether they were tears of pain or of anguish, Chris couldn't be sure, but he knew in that very instant that he would do anything to stop those tears from forming again in the future, just to make Alex smile again. He saw Alex's broken hand come up to wipe furiously across his face, almost like he was ashamed to show himself as being as devastatingly weak and vulnerable as he was at that point in time, and Chris reluctantly pulled back from the kiss with a deep sigh.

"If you need to cry Alex, just cry. Bottling it up won't make it feel any better, it'll just make it worse, and you know that better than most people. We all need a little bit of a release sometimes, and I'd rather you express it this way than in a more self-destructive way. I won't think any differently of you; it doesn't make you weak or pathetic. It just shows that you've been strong for way too long now."

Chris paused for a brief few seconds, desperately praying that his words would have the effect that he wanted; he didn't want Alex containing all of the emotions that had to be rampaging through his body; It would be way too unhealthy for his fragile mental condition. Alex gave out a slight, bitter snort, and Chris cocked his head in confusion, rubbing his thumb softly over Alex's knuckles to see whether it would get Alex to talk to him. When after a few minutes Alex hadn't given him a reply, Chris began to get worried, especially when he saw the tension that was creeping back into Alex's body.

"You know that whatever it is, you can tell me Alex. I don't want you to think that you have to hide anything from me, okay?"

The silence that fell over the room was suffocating as Chris leaned his head forward to rest it on Alex's shoulder, and Chris wasn't at all surprised when he saw the tears beginning to well up further in Alex's eyes. He watched with curiosity as Alex's gaze dropped down to the arm that was curled up into his lap out of Chris' view, Alex's hand releasing its grip on Chris' as he gently ran the tips of his fingers up and down the hidden skin. Chris was practically hypnotised by the movement of Alex's hand, so much so that he almost missed Alex's raspy, emotional whisper as he started to murmer under his breath.

"I was never strong. I've always been such a coward. It took all of this just to realise how pathetic I really am. I tried everything I could to escape for even just a little while, but I never could."

Alex briefly broke off, his entire body starting to shake with pent up emotion and sadness as he lost all of his nerve, finding it impossible to continue. The tears that he'd desperately been trying to hold back were beginning to overflow and roll down his bruised face as he took a few deep, shaky breaths, trying to find the courage that he needed to press on. His words still carried that drunken tinge to them, leaving Chris in no doubts that Alex had obviously suffered one fuck of a concussion from what he was assuming was a nasty kick to the face, and it took Alex a few attempts to be able to form some kind of coherency. His shoulders flooded with tension, Chris softly rubbed his thumb across Alex's knuckles in soothing encouragement, trying to help him relax a little bit so that he had could continue; it looked like it worked when Alex visibly forced himself to calm down, focusing all of his weakened, battered energy on saying what he needed to say.

"No matter what I did, I always ended up back there with him. I've come so close so many times to just wanting to disappear off the face of the earth, to make sure I never returned, but he always found me. He always brought me back, just to put me through hell again."

As Alex's heavily slurred words trailed off into a hiccuped sob, he slowly uncurled his arm before turning it over, giving Chris a clear view of it; as Chris' eyes drew across the length of Alex's forearm, he couldn't help but hold his breath as he felt his own control break down. There across Alex's arm and down towards his hand were thin, uniformed white scars, some considerably deeper and nastier looking than others. Chris' gaze dropping to Alex's wrist, he could feel his vision becoming blurred at the frantic, fresh red cuts that couldn't have been more than a few days old that stared back up at him ominously. There was absolutely no doubt as to what had caused those marks on Alex's skin; he'd have been too naive and stupid not to know what Alex had done to himself.

In that second, Chris wanted nothing more than to wrap Alex up in a hug and tell him that everything would be okay, but he was too shocked and upset with himself for not noticing earlier that he couldn't bring himself to do anything. Alex dropped his head down out of sheer shame and hurt, the tears in his eyes running down his bruised cheeks as he let out another frantic sob, all of his defences breaking down as he was reduced to a crying, shaking wreck.

"I just want it to stop. I can't do this anymore."

Chris' heart froze in his chest as Alex's confession, his gut twisting into knots as Alex's words ran through his head on replay. He could barely bring himself to believe what he had just heard, but the way that Alex had completely broken down told him that Alex wasn't lying to him. The tears in his own eyes welling up and threatening to spill over, Chris moved his hand, ghosting his fingertips down Alex's scarred arm before lacing his fingers as best as he could through Alex's broken hand. Twisting his head just slightly, Chris presed a soft, tender kiss into Alex's hairline just above his ear, trying to show every last emotion and feeling for him into the gesture. He poured every little part of his soul into the more simple of kisses, trying as hard as he could to erase every last suicidal and self-destuctive thought from Alex's mind.

After Alex had very reluctantly revealed to him one of the ways that his inner turmoil had been so badly released in the past, Chris would be damned if he let Alex stay completely absorbed in that dark state. He'd always wondered why Alex had worn so many armbands in the ring, why he was never seen out of long-sleeve jumpers for days on end, and the new knowledge he had of Alex's attempts at escaping his obviously overwhelming feelings and pain was enough to make him want to hunt down AJ and beat him so damn bloody and violently that he'd never walk again, let alone wrestle. He swore on his life that he was going to kill AJ for making Alex want to end things that way.

He was broken from his dark, revenge fuelled thoughts when he heard Alex let out a half-choked hiccup of a sob, his chest rising and falling haphazardly as his hand tightened its grip on Chris' fingers to an almost agonisingly level. Giving a sad smile, Chris squeezed his hand back, trying his hardest to reassure and comfort Alex as he pressed his body up against Alex's back, wrapping himself around him in an act of pure love and friendship, his hand continuing to rub up and down Alex's abdomen in an attempt to soothe him.

Neither one of them could even bear the thoughts of breaking the intimate contact between them, not when Alex leaned back, his body naturally molding further into Chris' as he let out a sigh, desperate sobs running through him as the tears rolled down his bruised and swollen face. Even as the cries ran their long course and Alex eventually silenced himself to nothing, Chris still held him tight in his arms, hoping that he could convey to Alex just how much he meant to him, just how deep his feelings and emotions for Alex cut into his very soul.

If he was totally honest, it hurt like hell to hear Alex admit to the most darkest of thoughts, to tell him that he'd spent so much time contemplating how to end it all and harm himself just to try and find some kind of release from all of the pain that AJ had inflicted on him, but he was proud of Alex for finding even the tiniest bit of strength in himself to be able to trust Chris enough to confess to it.

He knew that had to be one of the hardest things that Alex had possibly ever had to say, and as much as it pained him to admit it, he was glad he was there to hear it. Although it tore his heart straight in two to hear his best friend talk that way, Chris was grateful that he knew it. It just meant that he'd have to keep an eye on Alex to make sure that he didn't descend into such a state that he'd try anything again whilst he was under his watch.

Alex turned his head just slightly so that he could look at Chris out of the corner of his eye, thoroughly confused and puzzled by his actions. He couldn't bring himself to understand why Chris wasn't currently screaming and shouting at him for what he'd admitted to wanting to do for so many months, and the fact that Chris was actually sitting there trying to comfort him for it was something that made Alex's stomach twist up painfully.

He could barely work out why he had been inclined to trust Chris to tell him that he'd been cutting himself, that he'd been actively debating the idea of letting everything end for the past couple of months; sure, they were best friends, and Alex could no longer deny the fact to himself that he loved Chris to death, but that couldn't have been enough to break down the barriers he'd learnt to build up, could it?

It had been shown to him time and time again what happened if he dared to trust somebody; he wasn't worthy of any kind of love. He was dirty. He was used and abused, nothing more than a pathetic, broken down slut who AJ owned. He didn't belong to himself, or anyone else other than the one that he had at times in the distant past called his lover. He barely even had an identity anymore, so why was Chris trying to treat him any differently?

Maybe Chris was just pitying him, looking at him as some kind of charity case to save for some kind of ego boost? He dismissed the thought shakily; Chris would never take advantage of him that way, would he? The self doubt and questioning began to filter through into his mind, and his brain was starting to work overtime as he analysed every little thing that Chris had done for him since Alex had woken up; surely, there was no way that that level of sincerity and care could be faked, right?

Alex couldn't be entirely sure; he cursed the fearful distrust that AJ had allowed to be created in him of any type of kind, protective act. The old Alex would have trusted Chris with his life, and if he was perfectly honest with himself, the new Alex wanted to do the same thing as well, so why was it so difficult for him to take Chris' affectionate and adoring care at face value for what it was? Taking a deep breath, Alex desperately tried to shake all of the damaging thoughts out of his head. Chris was the only person he had on the face of the earth that was worth fighting for; the very last thing he wanted to do was to drive him away.

The worst thing that could happen to Alex at that moment in time was to be left alone to wallow in his self-misery and pain; Alex knew what that would inevitably lead to, and he knew now that Chris would know what would happen as well. He couldn't deal with the idea of Chris begging and pleading with him to stop doing something that he wanted - no, needed - to do just because Alex had somehow managed to push him further away from him; he wasn't sure he'd be able to deal with it.

Chris finally made eye contact with Alex, and the level of emotion in Chris' gaze made Alex's heart clench up so damn tight that Alex couldn't stop himself from breaking the connection between them, his head dropping down out of pure shame and hurt as his eyes teared up slightly once more. Almost immediately, Chris cupped his hand gently underneath Alex's chin, his thumb beginning to tenderly stroke across the lower half of Alex's cheek in an attempt to soothe him. Although Chris couldn't begin to understand the thoughts and feelings that had to be warring through Alex's tired body, he knew that he had to prove to Alex that nothing was going to change between them because of what had happened to him, what he'd resorted to in a desperate attempt to make things disappear for even a little while.

Lifting Alex's head up, Chris watched sadly as Alex closed his eyes, unable to look at Chris at that second, afraid of what he'd see there staring back at him. Letting out a deep breath, Chris closed the gap between them, pressing a soft kiss to Alex's split lips. Tears began to roll down Alex's face once more as he pressed back tentatively against Chris' undemanding affection, and his heart began to speed up in his chest at the sheer level of love and unguarded emotion that Chris was pouring into every little inch of the kiss. There was nothing sexual or raw about it, it was just a pure, chaste kiss that said everything about their friendship and more. It was almost like a lovers kiss, Alex mused sadly as a lump formed in his throat, their intertwined fingers linking tighter.

It almost seemed like an eternity wrapped up in each other, but after what had only been a couple of minutes, Chris, very reluctantly, pulled back, not wanting to push his luck any further. His gut knotted up upon seeing the tears that were running down Alex's face, and he softly wiped his thumb across Alex's face to clear them away, smiling at the way that Alex practically nuzzled his cheek into Chris' hand out of the want for even just a moment of love and adoration after the intensity of everything that he'd admitted to barely minutes beforehand.

"What you've been doing to yourself, it bothers me a hell of a lot," Chris confessed quietly, watching guiltily at the way Alex dropped his eyes back down to the bed. "But, I'm so damn proud of you for trusting me enough to tell me. I know that it's going to take a long time to sort all of this out, but we will make this better, okay?"  
>Alex stared back up at Chris, confusion and what almost looked to be the tiniest flicker of hope flashing through his eyes.<p>

"We?" He whispered raspily, his voice scared and uneven as he desperately prayed that he hadn't misheard Chris' words.

Chris gave out a slight laugh, a broad smile plastering itself across his face. "Of course 'we' you dunce. What, did you really think I'd let you struggle through this alone? You know that I wouldn't be able to do that to you, not ever, and especially not now."

As Chris' words sunk into the haze around Alex's head, Alex gave a faint, ghost of a smile. He squeezed down on Chris' hand in a silent thanks, and was relieved beyond anything when Chris immediately returned the gesture, his thumb continuing to stroke softly across the top of Alex's knuckles. Leaning forward, Chris pressed another quick kiss to Alex's lips, his eyes sparkling with such depth and strength of emotion that Alex could feel his heart balling up in his chest as the tears that had been running down his face slowly began to dry up and end. Pulling away after a few seconds, Chris repositioned himself behind Alex's back, picking up the cloth that had previously been discarded on the bed beside them both.

"I apologise in advance, but this is probably going to hurt like a bitch." Chris half joked, the backs of his fingers running along the length of Alex's thigh as a way of saying sorry, the damp cloth leaving little lines of water across Alex's leg, making him shiver slightly. "Just let me know when you're ready, okay?"

Alex let out a deep, shaky sigh, the muscle in his thigh twitching and rippling uncontrollably underneath Chris' touch and occasionally making his breath just start to hitch in his throat; Chris noticed this, and he couldn't help but imagine how responsive Alex would be beneath him in bed whilst they were making love. The images that were beginning to run rampant through his brain as he visualised them moving together in ecstasy was making it incredibly hard for him to stay rooted to reality to hear Alex's response, and he coughed a couple of times out of embarrassment when he felt just a little bit of heat beginning to build in his stomach.

He watched completely entranced as Alex's heavily bruised shoulders rose and fell with each breath that he took, and he eventually realised that he had to stop stroking Alex's thigh, otherwise Alex probably wouldn't be able to gather together the wherewithall to be able to answer him either. He forced himself to stop, and he noticed rather amusedly at the way that Alex wriggled slightly in place a couple of times, more as if to hide something than to actually make himself anymore comfortable.

"Yeah, I'm ready." Alex finally answered, his voice incredibly strained and nervous, and Chris realised that he most likely wasn't the only one who'd struggled with the visions he'd had as well.

Alex steeled himself, his entire body going rigid in anticipation as Chris pressed the damp cloth to Alex's back, just below the cleaner skin where he'd previously finished washing off the blood that still seemed to cover every inch of Alex's bruised and battered flesh. At Chris' touch, Alex instinctively flinched, unable to stop his natural reactions as he bit down on his bottom lip hard to stop himself from calling out in pain. His back was so ultra sensative and excruciatingly sore that it was unreal, and as the feeling was starting to come back into it, the throbs of agony running through it were enough to make Alex feel violently sick as the bile roiled in his stomach.

Chris had noticed Alex's flinch, and he briefly paused, not sure whether or not to trust Alex's judgement about whether he was okay; he squeezed down on their interlaced hands, and after a short delay that hadn't previously been there, Alex responded in turn, and Chris took this as a wary signal to continue incredibly carefully.

Despite the softness and tentativeness of his actions, it was slow progress for Chris. With every few strokes of the cloth, he found himself stopping out of guilt and concern for the level of pain that Alex was feeling, and each time, it was taking longer and longer for Alex to reassure him that he was still fine with what they were doing. On the last break, it had taken nearly two minutes before Alex could muster up the strength to respond to Chris' squeeze, and it had been so weak that Chris wasn't entirely sure if he'd actually felt it or if it was a figment of hs imagination.

Occasionally, he'd run over a particularly tender part where the buckle had torn into Alex's skin or left a deep puncture mark on his ribs, and Alex had yelped in agony, biting down on his lip so hard as he jumped in fear that he'd managed to split it open again, a small trickle of blood running haphazardly down his chin.

Tears of sheer, unadulterated pain had begun to roll down Alex's face as he tried to maintain a facade of strength and courage, but it was definitely starting to get too much for him, and Chris knew it. Wracking his brains, Chris frantically tried to think of a way that could serve as a worthwhile distraction for Alex, just a way of taking his mind off of things until Chris had finished cleaning him up. After a couple of minutes of thought, Chris suddenly came up with an idea.

Although he was wary of subjecting Alex to any more questions regarding AJ and what had been happening to him, especially considering the fragile mental state he was in after revealing to Chris what he had done less than half an hour beforehand, he figured it was a risk that was worth taking. At least he would be there for support and reassurance, and he'd willingly stop if things looked like they were becoming too tough or unbearable for Alex. Clearing his throat nervously, he tried to think of the best way of starting his interrogation, before deciding that the best option would be just to come out with what he wanted to know.

"So, how long?" Chris asked softly.

Alex instinctively froze up, worried about what Chris' intentions were as he swallowed down the lump that was beginning to form in his throat. His heart thudding in his chest, he knew exactly what Chris was trying to do, and although at that moment in time he wanted nothing more than to forget about absolutely everything, he knew that things wouldn't go that way.

"How long what?" Alex answered nervously, his voice holding a very prominent tremor of fear that almost made Chris buckle and want to do nothing more than to hold Alex in his arms again.  
>"You and AJ."<p>

Alex visibly paled, his hand shaking in Chris' despite Chris' attempts to soothe him with a gentle squeeze. He didn't think he could deal with Chris knowing anymore information about his and AJ's relationship, already knowing that the anger had to be stewing up in Chris' gut considering the condition that he was in. He briefly debated the idea of lying to Chris, but he knew that he couldn't lie to Chris; he'd never been able to lie to him about anything in the past, and he didn't think he'd be able to start now.

"Nearly 9 months." Alex admitted nervously, a pained, hurt tone edging his words as he gave a depressed sigh, his head dropping down out of shame and sadness. Letting his eyes drift shut, he let his mind roll back over the months, remembering every beating and abusive action that AJ had inflicted upon him. As Alex was drawn further and further from reality, being consumed within his memories and daydreams about the torture and torment that AJ had put him through, he flinched violently when he felt a hand run up and down his thigh again.

"Jesus Christ Alex, it's been as long as that?"

When Alex didn't respond with anything more than a stiff nod of the head, Chris couldn't stop himself from cursing angrily, making Alex tense up in fear of the nasty temper that he knew Chris possessed. Chris saw Alex's reaction, and he took a deep, deliberate breath, trying his hardest to dispel the rage that was ripping through him hard and fast as his hand stopped on Alex's leg, giving him a soft squeeze on his upper thigh. If he was being totally honest with himself, he wanted nothing more than to break something, to absolutely explode and commit acts of unreasonably forceful violence on somebody, preferably AJ, but he couldn't.

He knew that he couldn't let rip in front of Alex like he truly wanted to, so as much as it physically hurt him to do so, he had to squash down all of that anger and fury in his gut. He couldn't subject Alex to that kind of behaviour, not whilst knowing just how vulnerable and scared he was at that precise moment in time; that would be cruel beyond belief, and he knew that he couldn't afford to push Alex away from him with one selfish act. He was all that Alex had left.

An uneasy silence fell over the room as Chris watched Alex fight to regain his composure; composure that Chris guiltily knew that he was about to shatter with his next question. He honestly debated the idea of just shutting up and letting Alex relax; he hated the idea of making him distressed, which was what he had been doing, he admitted self-consciously, but considering how much it appeared that Alex was willing to trust him at that moment in time, he wasn't about to let the opportunity pass him by to get some more information about their obviously messed up and abusive relationship.

Chris' hand moving from Alex's thigh to briefly brush across his half-exposed hip before he threaded their fingers back together, he gave Alex's broken hand the softest squeeze he could to avoid causing him any more physical hurt than neccessary as he pressed the damp cloth back to the lower half of Alex's back. Moving his hand, Alex flinched as he let out a breathy yelp of pain, his entire body going tense, and Chris realised that he had better get his questioning over and done with before Alex utterly cracked under the stress, something that he knew had a high possibility of occuring.

"So," Chris started off nervously, "How did you and AJ get together in the first place? I wouldn't have thought of AJ as being your type."

Alex completely froze. Out of all the questions that Chris could have asked him, that was possibly the worst one in existance. Looking back on it now, he knew exactly what had happened their first time, but he'd been naive and stupid, believing it to be something different entirely. The circumstances didn't help matters either; Alex was in a less than fit state to fight AJ off like he'd wished he'd done for months afterwards, but how on earth was he supposed to admit all of this to Chris? Even though he'd discovered during the course of the night that nothing he could say could scare or push him away, Alex was truly and utterly terrified that if he confessed to how they'd gotten together, Chris would be so disgusted with him that he'd turn his back on him; Alex didn't think he'd be able to survive if Chris abandoned him because of what AJ had done to him that first night together.

As the silence drew on longer and longer and the gradually worsening tremors began to run through Alex's body, Chris began to get worried. He knew that he'd potentially crossed a major line, but he couldn't help himself; now though, he was starting to wish that he'd never asked Alex. Guilt pulsing through him, he gave Alex's hand another soft squeeze, leaning forward to place a tender kiss on the back of Alex's neck.

"It's okay Alex, if you don't want to answer, you don't have to. I'm sorry if I crossed the line, I was just interested, that's all, don't worry about it."

Alex gave out a slight sigh of relief, his entire body starting to lose the tension that had previously paralysed it. He wanted nothing more than to admit everything to Chris, to tell him exactly what AJ had done to him that night. The haunting memories of AJ plying him off with booze and drugs until he was in no fit state to defend himself before raping him in his hotel room, calling it nothing more than the rough fuck that they both needed, was something that made the nausea rise up in his throat, and he had to hold his breath briefly to make sure that he wasn't violently sick.

It wouldn't have been the first time he'd thrown up after reliving the experiences of their first time together; he just wished he'd been smart enough to realise what AJ had done to him and fled the next morning, not given him the benefit of the doubt and stayed with him until he'd developed into the monster he now was. Chris watched concerned as Alex tried and failed to calm himself down, and he brushed another kiss onto the back of his neck, rubbing his cheek into Alex's soft, dark hair; he loved the intimacy of the act, and the feel of Alex's hair against his face was one that made his heart ball up in his chest from its sheer simplicity. Chris had always been able to derive the greatest of pleasure from the most simple and trivial of loving gestures.

After a few more minutes, Chris gave one last wipe across Alex's lower back before leaning backwards slightly to inspect the state of Alex's flesh. Without the glaze of red to cover it, the vicious bruises stood out more vibrantly, almost as if they'd been painted on. The cuts and puncture wounds were starting to scab over, and Chris knew that it had to be extremely uncomfortable for Alex; Alex had never had a high pain threshold, and this was only going to test it to the limit. Looking back down at the cloth in his hands, Chris couldn't help but briefly wince at the disturbing shades of pink and red that had dyed it, and the knowledge that it had all come from Alex's attack was enough to make the anger that was suppressed and boiling inside of him to start to bubble up even more.

"Okay, and we're all done," Chris told Alex, watching the way that Alex let out a deep sigh of relief, his shoulders releasing all of their tension. "I'm just gonna go clean up, and then I'll be back, okay?"

When Alex squeezed his hand weakly in a silent answer, Chris put his other hand on Alex's shoulder, encouraging him to move forward slightly to give Chris room to move. Once Alex had done so, Chris swung his legs around to hang over the edge of the bed, effectively sitting himself next to Alex. Gazing over, he noticed with a frown the way that Alex's eyes were glued to the bed out of shame and hurt, tears welling up in them slightly and his hand softly shaking in its place on his leg.

He looked the picture of pure pain and misery, and Chris instinctively knew in that moment that whatever he did to AJ would be worth it just to make him relax and smile for him, even one more time. Reaching over, Chris curled his fingers underneath Alex's chin, lifting and turning his head so that he was looking over at him. Alex initially shut his eyes out of sheer instinct and wary distrust of Chris' actions, but as Chris' thumb softly ran across the bottom half of his cheek, Alex built up the courage to open his eyes and stare staright into Chris' concerned face.

"I mean it," Chris whispered softly, "We will fix all of this, okay? Me and you, Alex, it'll just be me and you, and I swear on my life that I won't let you back there again. You'll stay with me from now on, and I promise that if AJ comes anywhere near you, I will make him pay for even daring to lay a finger on you."

Leaning forward to press a tender kiss to Alex's cheek, Chris couldn't help but give a sigh when he saw the faint, ghost of a smile that painted itself across Alex's lips. Content that Alex was reasonably okay - well, as okay as he could possibly be at that precise second in time, which wasn't really very okay at all - Chris stood up, stretching his arms above his head until his back popped and shaking the pins and needles out of his legs. Giving Alex's hand one last squeeze, Chris turned to start walking towards the bathroom when he was cut off by Alex's hand grabbing his wrist almost convusively. Cocking an eyebrow, he turned to stare at Alex, curiosity and concern written all over his face at the look of sheer desperation on Alex's face.

"Please don't leave me."

Chris' heart clenched up in his chest at the brokenness of Alex's words, and as the tears welled up further in Alex's eyes, Chris felt his own control dissolve further. Letting out a sigh, he knew that he'd never be able to deny Alex, especially not then, not considering just how hurt and miserable he was. Giving Alex a warm, reassuring smile in return, Chris walked back over towards the bed, dropping the damp cloth down onto the bedside cabinet beside them as he sat back down next to Alex.

Snaking his arms around Alex's waist, Chris wasn't at all surprised when Alex leaned into him straight away, burying his face into the curve of his neck as his shoulders flooded with tension and he started to shake again. Chris could feel the warm drops start to hit his collarbone as soft sobs began to wrack Alex's body, and Chris tightened his grip around Alex, wrapping him up a loving, tender hug that told everything about the nature of their relationship. As Alex continued to cry gently into Chris' neck, Chris dropped a kiss into Alex's hairline, the anger bubbling up inside of him at the sheer state that Alex was in.

By God, AJ was going to pay, and Chris could almost guarantee it.

* * *

><p>The alarm clock started to beep incessantly from its place on the bedside cabinet, grabbing AJ's attention straight away. As the noise continued, AJ's already frayed temper snapped, and he sat up from his position on the bed, glaring at the offending item before throwing it into the wall with a satisfying crunch. He didn't give a shit about what the hotel staff would say to him when they found out about the state of his room; he needed some way of releasing the pure, unadulterated fury that was blazing through him, threatening to explode.<p>

A few pieces of shrapnel littered the floor, matching the rest of the debris from his rage-filled wrecking spree mere minutes beforehand. Shards of glass and smashed mirror were scattered in glittering heaps, the furniture splintered in broken piles. It looked more like the work of a hurricane than that of a human, but that's just what AJ was. A swirling wind of pure, blistering anger, and all of it directed at one person.

Flopping back down onto the pillows, he rubbed his hands down his face, a frustrated cry echoing around the walls as he thought back over the attack on Alex mere hours before, a red mist slowly descending through his already aggravated mind. He was absolutely seething, pissed beyond all recognition, there was no other way to describe it.

He'd come back to his hotel room after his meeting, expecting to find Alex exactly where he'd left him; in an unconscious heap on the floor. Instead, he'd been greeted by absolutely nothing. Alex wasn't there. Alex shouldn't have even been able to move after the vicious beating he'd inflicted upon him earlier, and the fact that the door had obviously been opened all led to one conclusion in his mind.

Alex wouldn't have been able to flee by himself; AJ had drilled it so deeply into Alex's brain what would happen if he decided to disobey him that he knew Alex would've been way too scared to leave. No, Alex must have been moved without realising it, when Alex was obviously in no fit condition to be able to argue back against whoever had chosen to retrieve him; there was only one person, AJ thought furiously, who'd have the nerve or the courage to be able to find Alex and get him to trust him enough to be able to get him out of the room.

Chris.

He should've known that his pathetic slut would be incapable of keeping his mouth shut, and bringing in Sabin just made it that much harder to accomplish his goal of finally breaking him. Today was most obviously a prime example of this, Chris jumping feet first into his business, and to prove what? That he was some knight in shining armour? That he could play the hero? That his weak, disgusting Alex was actually worth something?

He shook his head, violently punching the covers as his thoughts drifted back to Alex. Coming so close to achieving his target, being able to taste the terror in the air just made him crave that control more. Inflicting pain and eliciting fear were his addictions, and Alex was his insatiable fix, the temporary quench for that dominating thirst. Clearly replaying the screams and sobs, the bloody hysterics, it made him desperate to do it again. It urged him to cross the line and subject his lover to horrors ten times stronger, ten times worse than anything he'd unleashed before.

If Alex had thought that being violently attacked and whipped to within an inch of his life was the furthest AJ would go, then he was truly in for one hell of a nightmare when AJ finally got his hands back on him. AJ had barely shown Alex anything that he was truly capable of yet, not when he got into one of his darker, more vicious moods. They didn't happen very often, but when they did, you could guarantee that the person responsible for bringing out that side of him would pay with their blood. A sadistic, venomous laugh left his lips as his mind flickered with images, each more sickening, more torturous than the one that preceded it.

Chris was the least of his concerns right now, despite knowing that it would now be practically impossible to pry Alex from his sights. He had ways and means of getting distractions out of the way long enough to deal with the challenge at hand. If that meant forcibly eliminating Chris from the equation, then he had no qualms about doing just that.

Once he'd gotten Chris out of the picture, that would leave Alex all alone. No one to protect him, no one to save him, and definitely no one to care about whatever AJ decided to do to him. No, this was the ultimate disobedient act from Alex, and as such, he needed the ultimate punishment to show him what happened when he decided to step out of line and ignore AJ's orders. If Alex thought that he'd seen the dark side of AJ, then he certainly hadn't seen anything yet, not in the slightest.

He'd only just started playing his game. Soon, Alex was going to learn exactly what it meant to cross him, AJ thought menacingly, and it was going to be so much fun.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So, here's the next part guys, I hope you all enjoy it :)**

**As always, all reviews and comments are highly appreciated and deeply welcomed, so feel free to share any opinions!**

**Unfortunately, I shall never own anyone who decides to poke their heads up :(**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>The taping was in full swing when Chris and Alex left the sanctuary of the locker room, the previously deserted corridors now a hive of activity and adrenaline. It had been almost silent when they'd arrived earlier, only the faint sounds of some of the undercard rookies practising their moves breaking the eery quiet.<p>

Usually, Chris was one of the last people to arrive at the tapings, but he'd put Alex first; he didn't want to subject Alex to any questions or interrogations, and he sure as hell wanted to make sure that they didn't bump into AJ. It wasn't neccessarily because Chris didn't know what he'd do to AJ if he got his hands on him, it was more because he didn't want to risk Alex and AJ coming into close proximity with each other. He didn't have the slightest clue how Alex would react to AJ's presence, but he was fucking sure that he didn't want to have to find out.

Chris ran his hand discreetly down Alex's arm, trying to get him to relax a little bit. Ever since they'd arrived earlier that morning, Alex looked like he was on the verge of suffering a panic attack, his eyes constantly darting around as if searching out somebody that could be a threat. Chris knew that was probably true; Alex had been utterly paranoid about AJ's location ever since he'd woken up in Chris' arms that morning, convinced that AJ was lurking around a corner somewhere, ready to corner and attack him for even daring to disobey him the way that he had.

That was something that scared the shit out of Alex. He knew, almost from the second that he'd found himself in Chris' room the day beforehand, that he was going to be in absolute hell once AJ got his hands on him. He'd broken the biggest rule he could, and the idea of AJ making him pay for it was one that had Alex shaking in pure, unadulterated fear as he relived the beating from the day before. That beating was absolutely nothing compared to what AJ was capable of, and that knowledge was enough to have Alex fearing for his life. He didn't think he'd be able to survive if AJ attacked him that viciously, and even if he did, the pain and suffering he'd be feeling would be enough to make him want to end it all anyway.

Alex kept his head down; the gasps and whispers from the other guys and technicians hanging around backstage making him feel tense as they made no attempt to avert their eyes from the deep purple bruises marring his face and neck. Despite this, they had the decency to keep their distance, not wanting to aggravate the awkwardness of the situation any further. Upon noticing just how rigid and nervous Alex had become, Chris threw his arm around Alex's shoulders in a gesture that woudn't have looked out of place amongst friends, but one that both men knew had a deeper meaning to it. Alex initially flinched violently from the contact, his breath coming in short, sharp bursts until he visibly forced himself to calm down, trying and failing miserably to relax into Chris' affection.

Chris watched as Alex almost froze to the spot, barely able to move himself even an inch forward, and he instantly began to regret bringing Alex with him. They'd talked about it before they'd left the hotel that morning, about the possibility of Alex staying at the room where Chris knew AJ wouldn't be, but Alex had immediately shut down the idea. Alex was so vulnerable and scared that Chris couldn't find the heart to leave him alone, not when Alex pleaded with him not to. The look of sheer desperation and fear in Alex's face as he stared through watery, tear-shot eyes at Chris was enough to make Chris' heart clench up in his chest, and he'd acquiested to Alex's begging, swearing on his life that he'd protect him whilst they were at the Impact Zone.

The stream of people dwindled down to a mere trickle as they stood by the Gorilla position, Chris bouncing briskly on the balls of his feet as he tried to mentally prepare himself for his upcoming match; he was failing miserably. No matter how much he tried to focus on the run-through he was due to have with Joe for one of their matches, he couldn't tear his mind away from Alex or AJ for more than a few seconds, and after a few minutes, Chris gave up completely, settling instead on doing a few basic stretches to get himself warmed up. He watched Alex out of the corner of his eye, and a sly smile plastered itself across Chris' face when he noticed the way that Alex was staring at him with something akin to lust as he bent and moved fluidly through his exercises.

Finishing his warm-up, Chris started to jog up and down on the spot lazily as he turned to stare concerned at Alex. Alex looked the picture of complete and utter fear; his entire body was tense and shaking softly, his eyes darting around in a panic and his breath picking up speed whenever someone passed by him too close. He honestly looked like he was seconds away from either bolting or fainting, and Chris didn't want either of those to happen.

It had come close to that earlier when Chris had taken Alex along to the medical room to get a new bandage for his badly broken hand. Stepping into the room, Alex had come so close to freaking out on him that Chris was almost certain that Alex was going to pass out from the terror that rolled over him in thick waves. The lecture he recieved off of the trainer hadn't helped matters much either; Alex had paled up considerably, and the tears that had begun to well in his eyes as the medic had a right go at him was enough to make Chris' gut knot up painfully.

Alex was obviously used to having to put up with that kind of behaviour, and the instinctive way he lowered his head and didn't maintain any kind of eye contact whilst the trainer was talking, only answering his questions with the occasional 'yes sir,' spoke huge volumes to Chris. AJ had him so damn scared and petrified that Alex couldn't stop himself from acting that way around anybody, and Chris mentally added it to the list of things he was going to utterly murder AJ about.

Stilling for a moment, Chris placed firm hands on Alex's shoulders, gently massaging the fabric-clad skin beneath his fingers as he leaned into him; their foreheads rested against each other lightly as he gazed into watery brown eyes, the guilt building with each passing moment. Cupping Alex's chin, he tenderly brushed his thumb across the bottom half of Alex's cheek, taking in a deep breath as he tried to think of the best way to comfort and reassure him that everything would be alright whilst he was gone.

Alex's eyes drifted shut as he tried his hardest to hold back the tears that threatened to spill, and as he let out a teary sigh, Chris wanted nothing more than to kiss away all of Alex's fears, to make him feel loved and adored. But he couldn't. Not there. It wasn't the place for that kind of show of affection, and Chris wouldn't make Alex feel any more uncomfortable than he already did.

Instead, Chris settled for snaking his arm as carefully as possible around Alex, extremely mindful of the severe state of Alex's back as he wrapped Alex up in a tight hug. Alex immediately buried his face into the curve of Chris' neck as he responded to the gesture without any hesitation, and Chris let out a sigh when he felt the tremors that were running the entire length of Alex's body.

He heard Alex give a deep, abrupt sniff, and he knew that Alex was desperately trying to hold everything together to stop himself from literally breaking down and bursting into tears in the middle of the backstage area. Giving Alex a soft squeeze, Chris leaned his head forward, resting it softly on Alex's shoulder as he gave Alex's cheek a tender, discreet kiss to try and soothe him. It seemed to have some kind of effect on him when he felt Alex sigh against his chest, the shaking slowly beginning to stop.

"I know you hate this as much as I do, but I've not really got a choice. I'll try to wrap it up as fast as possible, then we'll go back to the hotel, okay? You'll be fine, just try and relax. I'll be back soon."

The sound of machine guns filled the air as Chris let out a low sigh, reluctantly pulling away from Alex; after one last long lingering look that begged Alex to relax and try not to get too worried or upset, Chris looked around the area before disappearing up the ramp to the ring. The faint sound of the crowds cheers reverberated around the backstage area, temporarily drowning out the low drumming of Alex's increasing heartbeat as he loosely cradled his arms around his aching ribs.

He was alone. He was all alone. Chris wasn't there, right beside him like he had been for the last 24 hours, and that it turn just made Alex feel even worse. His safety net had been removed, and now he felt like he was free-falling as he tried to reign in his hysteria. Deciding that it would be a good idea to attempt to distract himself from the rush of emotion and fear that was threatening to overwhelm him, Alex turned towards the monitor.

He watched wistfully as Chris played up to the crowds, jumping up onto each turnbuckle and giving the Guns pose before climbing back down and pacing the length of the ring in anticipation. Alex let out a sigh at the cheers and calls that Chris was getting, knowing that he should have been right there beside him to soak it all up. He missed not being in the ring, not wrestling side by side with his best friend and the man that he loved most in the world, and most importantly, he missed putting on one hell of a show for the fans; they were the people they did it all for after all. He watched as Joe came down to the ring in his trademark style, glaring at Chris the entire way as he slid into the ring.

After a few moments of taunting, the bell was rung and the match was underway. Alex watched almost entranced at the moves that Chris was pulling off on Joe, the athleticism and the grace that Chris was displaying for the world to see in his innovative manouevres, and he briefly cast a disparaging thought on his own wrestling abilities. Sure, he had the technical skills, and the talent to match, but it wasn't what the fans really cared about.

AJ had drummed it into his skull that he was nothing more than a cheap sideshow to Chris' acrobatic, spot monkey, that a cripple had more skill than him in one little finger and that he should just give up now to spare himself the embarrassment of getting fired and continuing to humiliate himself like he was. It had hurt Alex a lot more than he'd ever let on to hear AJ say that to him; wrestling was his life, and he couldn't give it up. Other than Chris, it was all he had left.

Watching the action in the ring, Alex watched as Chris attempted his springboard DDT, and he couldn't help but curse out loud when Joe botched his positioning and Chris crashed down on his arm awkwardly. The look of pain that painted itself across Chris' face was plain as day to see, and Alex winced when Chris shook it out as best as he could as he stood up, his left arm hanging limp and useless against his stomach as he fought on to continue the match. Alex could clearly see the strain that it was having on Chris to wrestle with only one good arm, and when Joe pulled Chris back for a wrist lock, Alex knew in his gut that Chris' screams of pain were real. He saw the referee duck in to ask Chris how he was, and he noticed the way that Chris shook his head warily, mouthing something to him that made Joe loosen up the move slightly out of concern.

Shit.

AJ smirked as he leaned back against the wall, his eyes boring holes in the back of Alex's head from his position in the adjoining corridor as he watched Alex stare at the small monitor, obviously concerned about Chris' state. It was way too cute, AJ briefly thought as he spotted the way that Alex looked at the screen, his hand coming up to wipe across his face, almost as if he was truly worried or something. When AJ noticed that Alex's worry was genuine, the anger that he'd been trying to hold back in his gut threatened to explode.

He'd been waiting for this, observing for the perfect moment to make himself known. It had taken a shit lot of patience on AJ's part to stop himself from running out there and taking back possession of what was rightfully his, but he'd managed to restrain himself. He'd almost blown his cover when Chris had spared a glance in his general direction before he walked up the ramp, but he'd been fortunate enough that the glance was fleeting.

The blistering fury that shone in AJ's eyes as he continued to watch Alex's every movement was so strong that if anybody had caught sight of it at that precise moment in time, they'd most likely have run for the hills and never tried to return. It had been brewing, festering up inside AJ since the day before when he'd come back to his room and found that Alex had somehow gotten out and escaped after the vicious beating he had taken. Alex shouldn't have even been able to move, AJ thought sinisterly, and the fact that Alex had had the audacity not to come back was enough for Alex to seal his fate.

Alex needed to pay for disobeying AJ in the worst way possible, and by fuck, AJ was going to make him pay in blood for what he'd done. Alex was obviously becoming too cocky, too arrogant to think he had to listen to AJ's threats, and he needed that completely snapped out of him. He needed to be broken in the most horrific way imaginable, and that was exactly what AJ was planning on doing. Alex was going to learn exactly what it meant to cross AJ, and it wouldn't be something he ever forgot.

Scanning his eyes around the vicinity, he stood poised like a snake, ready to uncoil on his unsuspecting victim. Timing it to perfection, he waited until the area emptied of all irrelevant people before cockily sauntering towards the unaware Alex; a sadistic smirk was painted on his lips, his steel blue eyes blazing with disturbed determination as the anger he'd previously held back began to boil and bubble to the surface. This was the beginning of the end for Alex, AJ thought menacingly, and not even Chris would be able to put Alex back together once AJ was finished with him. Alex was ripe and ready for the taking, and nobody was going to stop him from carrying out his ultimate goal of destroying him so far that he'd never be able to recover from it. Unfortunately, Alex was too absorbed in watching Chris fight back weakly against Joe with his one good arm to realise his own problem.

Until it was too late.

A possessive hand wrapped itself around Alex's neck like a vice, a panicked breath trapping itself in Alex's throat as he was spun around; blue, cold eyes met brown, terror-filled ones as the situation finally sunk in for Alex and he began to struggle against the hold that AJ had on him. Quick as a flash, AJ threw Alex hard back first against the wall, keeping a viciously tight grip around the already bruised skin of Alex's throat, his fingertips biting at the sensitive flesh as his free hand clamped over Alex's mouth, stifling the shout for help that Alex tried to give as he chuckled darkly.

If anything, Alex's yelling only made AJ even angrier than he was before, and he briefly let go of Alex's mouth to slap him hard across the face, Alex giving out a breathy yelp of pain as the tears began to well in his eyes. Leaning his full body weight forward, AJ deliberately dug the point of his elbows hard into Alex's damaged, swollen ribs, eliciting a muffled scream of agony as the tears that Alex had been trying so hard to hold back began to stream down his face, his eyes wide in blind fear.

Alex was on the verge of passing out; the sickeningly intense pain in his ribs and excruciatingly painful back was setting his body on fire and making him feel like he was going to throw up from the bile that was roiling in his gut and burning his throat. The grasp around his neck tightening, he felt a wave of nausea run through him as the blood rushed to his head, the blinding throbs made worse with each precious oxygen-restricting wheeze. AJ just shook his head, pushing him harder into the wall as he gave Alex another nasty, sharp slap around the face, getting angry with the fact that Alex wouldn't surrender to him.

Forget _needing_ to be broken, Alex _deserved_ to be broken, AJ thought violently, watching with a sick glee at the dribble of blood that began to run from Alex's bottom lip and down his chin. A twisted smile tugged at AJ's lips with every whimper that came from the quickly weakening Alex as he further increased the grip around Alex's throat, noticing the way that Alex panicked and tried to fight back to no avail.

AJ leaned forward, his nose pressed invasively against Alex's cheek as Alex let out a hiss of fear and terror, desperately trying to create some distance between the two of them. AJ's already short temper began to fray and split further, and he bit down hard on Alex's earlobe. Alex immediatelt froze, the tears of pain rolling down his face coming harder and faster as AJ pulled Alex off of the wall, wrapping his arms around him as he began to drag him backwards towards one of the empty locker rooms further down the corridor.

Alex saw what AJ was trying to do, and his frantic struggle for freedom only became more desperate. Kicking the heel of his foot back into AJ's leg to try and gain some space, Alex was spun around, his head driven straight into the solid concrete wall with a sickening thud as AJ's temper snapped.

All of the fight immediately abandoned Alex's body as his gaze went fuzzy and black around the edges from the vicious shot to the head he had just taken, and he could barely defend himself when AJ's fist curled around the side of his cheek to slam hard into his jaw, making him whimper and call out in pain as the blood flowed almost profusely from the deep split in his lip. Dragging Alex's almost dead weight down the corridor, AJ reached the room, and wasted no time in flinging Alex into the room, watching the way that the back of Alex's head smacked off of one of the metal lockers before he fell onto his back with a cry of pain.

Slamming the door shut behind him, AJ pulled one of the chairs over to barracade it, preventing anybody from entering or leaving without his permission. Alex could barely move, the tears streaming down his face as AJ approached him, his voice laced with an eerily psychotic calmness as he growled fiercly, venom practically dripping off each word that formed in the panic-filled atmosphere.

"My dear Alex, I think you and I need to have a long, hard chat, don't you?"

* * *

><p>"Take a couple of painkillers when you get back to the hotel, make sure you rest it up a bit, and I'm pretty sure you'll be fine in a few days or so. I don't think you've done any major damage to your shoulder, but it's not worth taking the risk, so I'm advising against wrestling tomorrow. Is that fine with you?"<p>

Chris stared up at the trainer as he finished wrapping the bandage around the top of his arm and shoulder, giving a slight hiss of pain when the trainer had to move and manipulate his arm into position.

"Yeah that's cool. I wanted a day off without any pay anyway," Chris replied sarcastically, his voice tight and strained under the pressure of the pain that was starting to wear through the adrenaline he'd been working from during the match.

He wasn't entirely sure how the fuck he'd managed to botch up his springboard DDT so badly to require a nice long visit to the medical room. Scratch that, Chris thought wearily, he knew exactly why he'd messed up. He hadn't been able to focus the entire match, and as such, he'd been knocked off of his game at the time when he needed to bring it, and bring it hard. His mind had been completely preoccupied with just one person, much like it had been before the match ever started.

Ever since the moment that Chris had reluctantly had to leave Alex backstage for the match, he hadn't been able to keep his mind off of him for more than a few seconds at a time as he wrestled his way through his fight with Joe. He'd been concerned, wishing that he'd found somebody for Alex to hang around with, or hell, even beginning to play with the possibility of having brung Alex down to ringside so that he could keep an eye on him, but he hadn't. Stupidly, he chastised himself, he'd left him all alone. Completely alone, in the middle of the backstage area where AJ could have all the chance in the world of getting hold of him.

That had been another thing. When he'd landed wrong and his shoulder had taken all of the impact of the move, it hadn't been his arm that he'd worried about. At that moment in time, his stomach had knotted up painfully, and he'd become paranoid that something was wrong. Deeply and terribly wrong. He'd always been able to tell instinctively when things were wrong with Alex; they were so in tune with each other that it was truly scary, and the fear and worry had begun to bubble and boil to the surface almost instantly after he'd gotten injured.

He'd wanted nothing more than to go backstage and find Alex, just to put his panic and concern to rest, but that hadn't happened. Instead, he'd been coralled by the trainer almost the second the bell had rung to signify the end of the match, who'd insisted on taking him back to the medical room for a proper examination. Despite Chris' protests, he hadn't been able to escape. That had led to now, where Chris had spent over half an hour being patched up. It had done nothing for the fear that was roiling in his gut about Alex; if anything, his paranoia and concerns had been getting worse, to the point where Chris was almost tempted to knock the trainer out just to get away and search for him.

The trainer finished up his wrapping, turning his back to Chris as he waved a hand at him dismissively, telling him in no uncertain terms that he could finally leave if he wanted to. Chris didn't need to be told twice; sliding off of the bed, he strode across the room, opening the door and leaving so damn fast that it was unreal.

Immediately, Chris set off towards the backstage area where he had left Alex earlier, praying to God that he'd still be there. He knew that Alex was probably worrying about Chris' shoulder injury, and Chris wanted to get to him as soon as possible to soothe him before they left back for the hotel. If Chris was totally honest with himself, he needed to see Alex to calm himself down too. It had unnerved him, not having Alex within eye sight or touching distance like he had been for the last 24 hours, and the sooner that Chris could see Alex again, the better it would be for him.

Strolling down the corridor, Chris generally ignored the questions and calls from the other wrestlers who were hanging around backstage, not really interested in getting into a conversation with any of them at that moment in time. Talking to them meant it taking longer for him to reach Alex, and that wasn't something he was prepared to do right then; not when he was as on edge and nervous as he was. Despite hoping that his fears would eventually go away and his brain would kick in to tell him he was over reacting, it hadn't, and as the seconds passed, Chris could feel his heart beating faster and faster as his imagination conjured up images of Alex being beaten to within an inch of his life by AJ somewhere.

Finally reaching the backstage area behind the curtains, Chris froze, turning his head around and looking in all different directions as the fear and worry began to rush through him harder. Alex wasn't there. In fact, apart from Storm and Roode who were preparing for their match, it was completely empty. Alarm bells began to ring in Chris' ears; there was definitely something wrong. Alex was so damn vulnerable and terrified that there was no way he'd have gone off by himself, not considering just how fearful he was of AJ getting his hands on him. He wouldn't have been at all surprised if Alex had spent most of the match staring at the monitor for reassurance, so the fact that he was nowhere to be seen was something that concerned Chris deeply.

Shaking his head to try and reign in his growing panic, Chris turned and jogged up to Storm and Roode, noticing the way they both looked at him with curiosity. Swallowing down the lump in his throat, he opened his mouth to speak before briefly pausing. He wasn't entirely sure what to ask; whether they'd seen Alex, or whether they'd seen AJ anywhere close by. The idea that AJ could've been in the near vicinity, could have gotten into close proximity with Alex and done something to him was one that had the anger racing through Chris' blood. Eventually, he settled on a priority.

"Hey guys, I don't suppose you've seen Alex anywhere, have you? He was back here before my match, and I was wondering if you'd seen him move somewhere else?"

Chris watched nervously as Storm and Roode turned to face each other, their eyebrows raised as they spoke quietly amongst each other for a brief few moments. Staring back at Chris, Chris felt the urge to scream in pure frustration when Storm shook his head.

"Sorry Sabes, can't say we have seen him anywhere around recently. Why, are ya looking for him or something?"

Chris decided to ingore the question, instead answering with another question of his own as he tried to hold back the worry that was threatening to overwhelm him; after all, he didn't need anyone else knowing about the situation that Alex had found himself in recently.

"Have you seen AJ anywhere?"

Again, the tag team partners looked at each other for a brief few seconds, before Roode gave out a short, sharp laugh that made the fear crawl over Chris' skin.

"Seen him? No. Have I heard him? God yes. He locked himself in one of the locker rooms down there with some poor rookie who obviously pissed him off earlier. He was screaming and shouting abuse at him like no-one's business. They probably fucked up on his drink or something, you know what interns are like."

"Yeah," Storm pitched in. "I don't know what they did to annoy him, but he was giving them some serious shit in there. If that was me, I think I would've crapped myself considering just how pissed off he looked earlier when we banged into him. He was looking for Alex too, he must be a popul- Hey, where ya going Sabes?"

The second that Chris heard the phrase "AJ's looking for Alex," an overwhelming feeling of dread began to rush over Chris. His imagination was working overtime, and for some reason, he instinctively knew what had happened to Alex and why he wasn't anywhere to be found. Not even bothering to listen to the rest of Roode's rambling, Chris started to make his way frantically towards the locker rooms, ignoring the calls and questions from Storm, Roode and anyone who happened to pass by him about the condition of his shoulder.

He didn't give a shit about anyone else at that moment in time; he was entirely focused on Alex, and finding him before any damage was done was by far his number one priority. Deep down in his stomach though, Chris knew he was too late. His eyes scanning down the long corridor in a rush, he instantly honed in on the one closed door that he could spot. It made more sense; If AJ had done something to Alex, he'd be more likely to have done it in a room where people weren't likely to wander in and out whenever they wanted to. After all, that wouldn't keep things very undercover for AJ, would it?

Speak of the devil, Chris thought. Standing still, he leaned lazily against the wall, pulling his mobile phone out of his pocket and pretending to play around on it, when in reality, his gaze was firmly locked on the door that had just swung open. The anger in Chris' gut flared when AJ stolled out, and there was something about the disturbing smile on his face that made Chris uneasy. It almost looked like AJ was extremely happy about something he'd just done, and what that thing was, Chris had a horrible suspicion he knew.

Watching with blistering fury playing across his eyes, Chris was highly tempted to go straight up to AJ and knock him the fuck out before beating the shit out of him, but now definitely wasn't the time, not when he was still so unsure about Alex's whereabouts. Instead, Chris held fast, hearing the slight laugh that AJ gave out before closing the door and disappearing in the opposite direction down the corridor. Chris was glad about that; if AJ had had the nerve to walk straight past him, and god forbid try to talk to him, then Chris wouldn't have been responsible for his actions.

Waiting until AJ had left his view, Chris slipped his phone back into his pocket, making his way down the corridor to stand infront of the door where AJ had just been. An eery silence descended upon the backstage area at that point, something which only made the paranoia in Chris grow even worse as he leaned into the door, trying to listen for any sounds from inside. He froze; the only sound that was audible was what Chris was positive was the sound of somebody sobbing rather hysterically, and that made him panic. His hand shaking uncontrollably, he reached out to open up the door.

"Please don't be Alex, please don't be Alex," Chris whispered desperately under his breath as the door opened up, and he hesitated for a second or two before he could find the courage to actually enter and see.

The sight he saw when he finally entered was enough to break his heart and make the anger in him spiral rapidly out of control as he let out a growl of frustration, turning and kicking the wall beside the door. At that moment in time, he wanted nothing more than to explode, to destroy everything in sight and then go hunt down AJ and kick his face off, but he couldn't. Tears of anger and fear welling up in his eyes, he couldn't tear his gaze away from the curled up heap on the floor mere metres in front of him as the sound of gutwrenching sobs filled the entire room.

Alex's back was to Chris', but Chris could feel the fear, pain and shame rolling off of Alex in violent waves as he continued to cry and sob desperately, unaware that anyone else had even entered the room. Hs shirt had been ripped off and was caught a few feet from him on one of the benches, and the bruises and cuts that Chris had done such a thorough and careful job of cleaning up the day before were bleeding and raw once more.

Gazing further down Alex's body, Chris let out a curse when he saw that Alex's jeans and boxers were bunched up around his knees and thick streams of blood were running down the inside of his thigh before pooling on the floor next to him. In that instant, Chris knew without a shadow of a doubt what AJ had done to Alex, and the knowledge that AJ had so sadistically and viciously taken Alex and broken him in the most defiling and abusive of ways was enough to make Chris want to scream and shout before going and murdering AJ that second. But he couldn't. He had by far more important things to worry about.

Taking tentative steps towards Alex's curled up and violently shaking body, Chris anger only grew when he saw the bite marks and cuts that covered most of Alex's arms and chest, and when he saw a deep looking slash on the side of Alex's throat, right across his pulse point, it only served to increase Chris' worry about Alex's condition. He looked more like he'd been in a car wreck than someone who'd been attacked by another human being, but Chris knew what AJ was capable of, and when he noticed the thin leather belt from AJ's previous attack wrapped tight around Alex's wrists to prevent him from fighting back during the assault that had obviously taken place, he shook his head in saddened rage.

Walking around the bottom of Alex's legs, Chris got his first, half decent look at Alex since he'd stepped foot in the room, and the sight he was greeted with was enough for him to feel sick with panic and concern. The cuts and bites continued down the length of Alex's torso and onto the inside of his thighs where the blood was continuing to leak, and there were dark, handshaped bruises forming on Alex's hips, showing that he must have been pinned down with some considerable force by AJ for them to start appearing so quickly after the attack.

The part that upset Chris the most was the shiny, pearlescent strings that were dotted across Alex's stomach. Chris knew exactly what that was; he was a hot blooded, typical male, so he would've been blind not to know what it was, but Chris couldn't imagine Alex wanting to have willingly come. The hysterical state that Alex was in suggested that Alex had been forced, and considering that he was completely unable to fight back against AJ, it looked like he hadn't had any choice.

Shame and humiliation continued to roll off of Alex as he sobbed frantically, coming so damn close to hyperventilating that Chris was almost convinced that if Alex didn't calm down at that moment in time, he was going to end up making himself pass out. Chris went to reach out his hand, but he stopped; he didn't have anyway of calming Alex down, not this time. He was completely at a loss of what to do, and that ate at him more than anything. The fact that he couldn't work out anyway of soothing him from the vile attack he'd just went through was enough to make the tears of frustrated anger and sadness well up again in Chris' eyes.

The tears only increased their presence when Chris knelt down beside Alex and stared down at his face. Alex was still so consumed in reliving his hellish nightmare that he hadn't even realised that Chris was mere inches away from him, and that only concerned Chris further. As Chris gazed down at Alex's face, he felt the same anger he'd been desperately trying to hold back come flying back through him. The same thick sticky dots of cum were strung across Alex's bruised face, little speckles of blood breaking the chains that lay so primitively across his skin, and the idea that AJ had humiliated Alex in the worst possible way by marking him as his own property were enough to make Chris feel sick with helpless and uncontrollable rage.

There was a deep cut on Alex's forehead that trickled blood down the side of his face, and the glassy look in Alex's eyes as he continued to sob hysterically told Chris that Alex's concussion obviously had to have been made worse by a nasty shot to the face with something hard. One of his eyes was starting to go black and swollen too, and the split in Alex's bottom lip told Chris emphatically that the sexual assault wasn't the only type of beating that Alex had to have gone through at AJ's hands.

Letting out a deep sigh, Chris tried to think of what he could say to Alex to get him to calm down even a little bit, just enough to stop himself from being violently sick or passing out on him, but Chris' mind went completely blank, and everything that would normally come so naturally to him regarding talking to Alex went flying out of the window. Chris wasn't entirely sure why that was; it wasn't like he was disgusted or sickened by Alex, merely AJ for putting him through everything that he had without any remorse or thoughts for the consequences, so why couldn't he think of anything to say to him? Chris surmised that it was most likely shock at finding Alex like he had; that made more sense to him.

Looking back down, Chris was beyond surprised to find that Alex was staring straight at him, his eyes filled with shame and self-loathing as he gazed at Chris with something akin to fear and terror. Fear that Chris would abandon him, that he'd leave him because of what AJ had done to him. That was something that Alex didn't think he'd be able to survive. He'd rather kill himself than have to live without Chris right beside him; as it was, the thought of suicide just to escape the pain and the shame that was rippling through him was an incredibly strong and consuming one.

He felt completely destroyed and worthless, and he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to recover from the feeling of dirtiness that was crawling through his entire body, making him feel sick beyond belief. He could barely see Chris sitting in front of him; all he could see was AJ violently raping him, and when he felt a hand on his wrist, Alex screamed in fear, flinching so viciously that it made his entire battered and weakened body hurt.

"Hey, it's okay," Chris whispered desperately, watching as the tears fell down Alex's face faster and harder from even the smallest bit of contact he had made. "I'm just trying to undo your wrists. Do you think you can work with me on that one?"

Alex couldn't respond. He couldn't bring himself to utter even a single word; talking would bring him back to reality, and reality brought hell with it. He wasn't ready to face everything that had happened to him, he didn't think he ever would be ready to face what AJ had done to him so violently and maliciously, and keeping silent about it meant that he wouldn't have to make it real.

Keeping quiet meant that no-one would ever have to hear the full extent of what AJ tried to do, even if it did rip him to pieces from the inside out. Even if it did end up killing him like he knew it probably would. He'd never wanted to die as much as he wanted to right then, and he knew that feeling would never go away until it destroyed him completely; and he knew that Chris could never know that.

Alex watched silently except for his hysterical sobs as Chris battled with the thin leather belt that had been tied surprisingly tight around Alex's wrists; the blood that was streaming down his arm from the cuts that AJ had made weren't helping matters much. Eventually though, the pressure around his wrists loosened quite dramatically as Chris finally got the belt undone, throwing it across the room before leaning over to inspect that state of Alex's wrists. He winced; thick stripes of black bruising wrapped around both wrists as they dropped to the floor, Alex not even able to find the strength to shake the pins and needles out of them, and the horrible blue shade that Alex's broken hand had taken on suggested that some serious damage had obviously been done to it.

Once it was undone, Chris just sat there on the floor next to Alex's shaking, abused body. He ran a hand roughly through his hair as he willed the tears that continued to bud in his eyes to go the fuck away, but of course they didn't; he wasn't sure they'd ever go away, and when he gazed back down the length of Alex's skin, taking in each and every bruise and cut that covered him from AJ's assault, Chris was entirely helpless to stop them from trickling down his cheeks out of pure rage and guilt.

He'd broken his promise. He'd sworn on his life to Alex that AJ would never lay a finger on him again for as long as he lived, and yet AJ had. AJ had managed to pry Alex away and beat him so damn bloody before raping him that Alex couldn't even speak to him. Whether that was out of trauma or because he was upset with Chris for not protecting him, Chris wasn't sure he wanted to know, but he put it down to the former; the hysterical, desperate state that Alex was in spoke volumes, emphatically answering that question for him.

Maintaining eye contact with Alex, Chris reached out his hand towards Alex's, but when Chris went to lace his fingers through Alex's broken hand, Alex screamed out in almost agonising pain, pulling his hand back into his chest as he screwed his eyes shut, trying to stop the nausea from overwhelming him as he continued to sob frantically. Chris raised an eyebrow as he frowned, intense worry and concern washing over him; Alex had never flinched away from him like that, unless it was an injury that he'd sustained. Chris suddenly froze, realising he hadn't even checked Alex's hand for any kind of affliction after the beating.

"Alex, did he do something to your hand?"

Alex nodded his head, still not able to speak to Chris and tell him exactly what AJ had done to him. Chris tried again; reaching forward, he gently cupped Alex's hand in his own before turning it over. Alex's fingers were curled into his palm, covering up whatever AJ had done to him, but Chris could see the egdes of what looked like a burn marring the sensitive flesh of Alex's hand, and he instinctively panicked.

"Alex, can you please uncurl your fingers for me?" When Alex shook his head, the tears streaming down his face as he sobbed desperately, Chris let out a deep sigh. "Please Alex, I know that he's hurt you, I can see the burn. I need to look at it, it'll only get worse if it doesn't get treated soon. Please Alex? Please don't make me beg."

It initially appeared as if Alex hadn't heard him as he continued to shake his head with each heartwrenching sob, but Chris watched as Alex, incredibly reluctantly, uncurled his fingers, revealing his palm to Chris.

"Holy shit Alex!"

Chris covered his mouth with his other hand to try and prevent himself from being violently sick as Alex's palm came into view. Straight into the centre of Alex's hand was a deep, nasty looking cigarette burn, the middle raw and weeping profusely. It was all embedded with ash and debris, and when Chris gathered himself together to take a better look at it, he could see it had burnt straight through the muscle and tissue in Alex's hand, revealing a segment of bone. No wonder why Alex looked like he was going to pass out from the pain if that was only one of the things that AJ had put him through, Chris thought sadly.

Chris wanted to ask Alex what else AJ had done to him, but Alex looked like he was mere seconds away from passing out or being horribly sick as he continued to sob and cry like there was nobody else in the room, and Chris couldn't find it in his heart to subject Alex to anymore pain; the idea of making Alex relive it anymore than he alreafy was was enough to make the self-anger and rage build up inside Chris as he bent down closer to Alex's face. Reaching out his hand, he laced it through Alex's hair softly, rubbing his palm against the side of Alex's head, being sure not to touch the nasty looking gash just above his hairline.

"This ends tonight Alex," Chris whispered, his voice breaking off into a gasp as he tried to hold back all of the emotions that threatened to overcome him. "I swear on my life. AJ pays tonight."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So, here's the next chapter! Hope you guys all enjoy! :)**

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><p>Chris Sabin was a man on a mission. As he fast approached Alex and AJ's room, there was only thing on his mind. Revenge. He was ready; scratch that, he corrected himself, he was more than ready to give AJ everything that he deserved and more, and his attack on Alex mere hours beforehand had lit the fuse underneath the enraged fire he'd become. Now that fire was ready to burn, and by fuck, would it burn on AJ.<p>

As far as Chris was concerned, AJ was already a dead man for what he'd been doing. In fact, he was worse than a dead man. Now, Chris thought sinisterly, he was going to hell, and Chris was going to be the one to send him there, piece by worthless piece. The fire had consumed Chris pretty quickly since he'd left the room and Alex, and with every step closer he got to kicking AJ's ass, the anger had grown into near uncontrollable rage. At this rate, Chris was going to break AJ's door down and commit murder.

Chris wasn't normally a violent man by any nature. Actually, he was far from it; typically, he was one of the most laid back and relaxed people anyone could find on the face of the earth about most shit, but AJ had crossed the line. He'd crossed the line the second Alex had admitted to him what AJ had been doing to him over the past 8 months; he'd well and truly pissed on that line when Chris had found Alex in the locker room earier, beaten and raped so violently to within an inch of his life that Alex still hadn't been able to utter a word to him up until the moment he'd left to hunt out AJ.

Now, the time had come to teach AJ exactly what happened when you fucked with the one thing that Chris loved more than life itself.

Chris' thoughts went back to Alex, and he briefly paused in his place, once again questioning for the millionth time since he'd left the room whether or not he could actually do this. His self doubts had been continuously attacking him ever since he'd started on his way to AJ's room, and they were beginning to make him second-guess himself. Sure, he was pissed, seething beyond all recognition that AJ would dare to lay a single finger on Alex after everything that Alex had had to go through at his hands, but even the most intense anger on the face of the earth couldn't dampen the major worry and concern that he had about Alex's condition.

There was no doubt about it; AJ had well and truly broken Alex. He had reduced the once bright and vibrant man to less than a shell of his former self, and Chris wasn't entirely sure that he had enough in him this time to be able to pull him back out of it unscathed. Chris just prayed that Alex wasn't doing anything too stupid or self-destructive whilst he was gone; the idea of Alex harming himself again because Chris had been too preoccupied going after AJ to look after him was one that ate Chris up inside, and Chris desperately hoped that Alex was just sleeping or relaxing like he had been when Chris had left the room.

It had taken all of Chris' strength to get Alex back to the room after AJ's attack; Alex was so hysterical and fragile, so beaten and broken down that he could barely move himself more than an inch without breaking down into sobs of agony and shame. Chris couldn't begin to understand the torrent of emotions that had to be rushing through Alex since the rape and beating, but he knew that Alex was suffering; that he'd continue to suffer for a long time yet, and the knowledge that Chris didn't have any way of soothing or reassuring him like he had done previously was something that upset Chris more than anything.

It had taken a while for them to get back to the hotel; Alex was practically out on his feet the entire duration of the walk, not that Chris really blamed him for being that way after everything he'd gone through. When they'd finally gotten back to the room, Alex had almost collapsed into a heap on the floor, and if it wasn't for Chris keeping a tight grip around his waist for support whilst Alex had been walking, he had no doubt in his mind that Alex would've been curled up in a heap on the floor, more scared and vulnerable than Chris had ever seen him.

Chris had led him straight to the bathroom, instinctively getting the impression that Alex would want to wash himself clean after the attack; he knew he'd guessed correctly when Alex immediately, his hand shaking so bad that Chris was surprised he could grab anything, turned the tap on as hot as it would physically go before trying to strip out of his clothes. Watching Alex fumble and struggle miserably, Chris had wanted nothing more than to help him, but as he'd reached out his hand towards Alex, Alex had flinched, backing himself into the wall as he gave a half-choked scream of fear that had utterly destroyed Chris.

Realising that even touching Alex could cause more harm than good at that precise moment in time, Chris had had to supress the urge to assist him as much as it hurt him, and he'd watched as Alex divested himself of his clothing, before stepping carefully into the shower. Chris had left the room shortly after that, wanting to give Alex the privacy and respect that he deserved, and after a few minutes of restless pacing, he just sat on the bed that the two of them had shared the night before.

It was such an intensely bittersweet moment for Chris; remembering with fondness the feel of Alex wrapped up in his arms that morning, skin to skin and Alex being more innocent and beautiful than Chris could ever remember him being, it had made such a heartwrenching sight, one that he was sure would be ingrained into his brain for years to come. Yet now, he was too scared to even attempt to touch Alex after the reaction he'd given him in the bathroom, scared of hurting Alex in the most unimaginable ways thanks to what AJ had done to him. It was a thought that had Chris cursing AJ and the anger building up inside of him.

He wasn't blind; he knew that Alex was pushing him away from him, and Chris on some level could completely understand why that was. He couldn't begin to imagine the sorts of things that AJ had done to Alex that Chris had yet to uncover, but if it was anything like AJ had done to him in the past, then he knew that Alex would need some time to recover himself, to pick himself up and deal with things himself before letting anyone else in to gather the rest of the pieces and put him back together again. Alex, despite his mind and his body being battered and bruised after months of abuse, was still one stubborn son of a bitch when it came to his pride, and he still wanted to prove to himself that he wasn't as reliant on Chris as Chris knew that he was.

After nearly half an hour of tortured introspection and worrying about Alex's mental state, Chris had started to become concerned that Alex had yet to come out of the shower. All that he could hear was the sound of the water hitting the floor, it was almost as if Alex wasn't even in there anymore. Chris was about to start questioning the lack of noise when his brain threw up a worryingly possible scenario. Cursing himself when he had remembered about all of the razor blades and bottles of painkillers that Alex had free access to, Chris had walked straight across the room towards the bathroom in a panic.

Giving a quick knock on the door, Chris had opened it and peeked his head around the frame, his eyes immediately searching out Alex; the sight that had greeted him was one that broke his heart and made his hatred for AJ burn even brighter than before. Alex was sat on the floor of the shower, his back flat against the tiles and his knees curled into his chest as he sobbed hysterically. He was so absorbed into his nightmarish world that he hadn't even noticed that Chris was now in the room, let alone acknowledge him.

Sitting in front of him was one of Chris' razors, the blades scattered around the shower; Alex had obviously broken the plastic covering to get to them, Chris had thought sadly. His left arm was drenched in blood, and Chris could see that Alex had cut his arm up rather badly, the multiple, frenzied lacerations hanging perilously close to the veins and arteries of his wrist and elbow. In his right hand was the culprit, a bloodstained razor blade that was held between violently shaking fingers as Alex pressed it to the pulse point on his wrist, completely oblivious to the fact that Chris had entered the room and was standing there watching him.

Chris was almost frozen to the spot as he watched Alex draw the blade slowly across his wrist, a thick line of blood quickly following before running almost profusely down his skin and dripping off of his fingers onto the floor, being washed away down the drain. Chris could see that the cut was deep; not deep enough to kill himself, Chris thought thankfully, but still nasty enough to leave one fuck of a scar. It unnerved Chris as to just how methodical and clinical the whole process was, how Alex hadn't even flinched or looked to be in any visible kind of pain after inflicting such brutal damage upon himself, but Chris knew instinctively that Alex had to be screaming on the inside.

The darkened, teary light that had flashed across Alex's eyes as he lifted his head up slightly to stare distantly across the room suggested that Chris had been right in his assumptions, and as Alex's mask fell for just a few brief seconds, Chris could see just how deep the pain and suffering that Alex was feeling ran as he let out a quiet hiss, cradling his arm into his chest. The blood continued to run down his skin, staining the floor of the shower a disturbing shade of red, but Alex's grip on the razor never released. It was almost like he was trying to gather together the motivation and the wherewithall to make the next cut, and Chris immediately wanted to make Alex stop before he did irreversible damage.

Chris had eventually found the strength to move, tentatively walking over towards Alex's violently shaking and huddled body. Turning off the scorching water that had flushed Alex's skin an angry red between the thick bruises, Alex had looked up at Chris, and the sheer pain and desperation in his tearshot eyes had made Chris's breath hitch and the tears well up in his own eyes. He knew in that second that the look that Alex had given him was going to haunt him for the rest of his life as he tried to will the tears down; someone needed to be strong for Alex, and that person was going to be him. He couldn't afford to let his defences shatter again.

Chris had kneeled down in front of Alex, not caring that his jeans were getting damp as he moved the broken razor and the rest of the blades out of Alex's reach. Chris found himself hesitating for a few moments, at a loss as to what to actually do, before he held his hand out slowly. He wasn't demanding or telling Alex to do or give him anything; he was waiting for Alex to be ready to give it over by himself. As much as Chris disliked Alex harming himself, he couldn't rip away what was obviously some kind of security blanket for him, even if it was a horribly self-destructive one. What he didn't want, however, was for that protection to overwhelm Alex and cost him his life; Chris couldn't idly sit by and watch as Alex threw away his life with just one or two slashes.

As the tears streamed down his face, Alex had shakily handed over the bloodied blade, and Chris had given him a soft, warm smile in thanks. Alex hadn't returned the gesture, he had just leaned his head forward, resting it on Chris' shoulder as he sobbed frantically. Chris had immediately reacted, wrapping his arms around Alex in a tight hug, never wanting to let go. He could feel every inch of Alex's body pressed against his own, shaking without reservation as if Alex had lost all control over his actions, and as the hug had been tightened, Chris could feel his t-shirt becoming sticky and wet with the blood from Alex's arm.

As Chris thought back over the memory that haunted him of Alex drawing his own blood, his thoughts rapidly turned back to AJ, the one who was the cause of Alex's pain and suffering, and the anger flared up in his gut again as he started making his way back down the corridor towards AJ's room. The blood that still stained his shirt was splattered across his front ominously; it would have freaked Chris out at any other time to be wearing it, but this time, it only served to remind him of why he was doing this. He was doing this for Alex. He was doing this for every drop of blood and every single tear that AJ had made Alex shed over the course of the 8 months Alex had been subjected to the hell he'd been forced to endure.

Chris had been so caught up in his thoughts and thinking that he didn't even realise he was standing right outside of AJ's room, just staring at the wood as the rage and anger continued to build inside of him. He knew that AJ was in; he could hear the sound of the TV blazing in the background, and the occasional bark of laughter as AJ expressed his amusement at whatever was on. Just the idea of AJ giving out that same dark laugh to Alex when he was raping and beating him flashed through Chris' mind, and he became so worked up in his fury that his hands began to shake violently. AJ was a dead man.

Lifting his hand up, Chris took a deep breath, trying to work up the courage and eliminate all of the self-doubt over whether or not he could this. After a few minutes of listening to the sounds coming from within the room and envisioning those same noises during the attack earlier, Chris couldn't stand it any longer, and he knocked on the door hard and fast. He tried his best to calm down a little bit before AJ got to the door; the last thing he wanted was for someone to see him murder AJ, and if he could get some answers out of bastard, then he happily would.

"I told you! I fucking told you that you'd have no fucking choice but to crawl back to me on your hands and knees like the pathetic slut you are! I told you that even Sabin wouldn't want your worthless, whored out ass once I was fucking finished with you!"

At the sound of AJ's malicious tone, and the blistering anger he could hear in it through the door, Chris' own rage began to build up worse than it did beforehand. AJ obviously thought that it was Alex instead of him standing behind the door, Chris questioned, his face contorting in near uncontrollable fury when the true extent of what AJ was saying began to sink through the haze surrounding his mind. His hands balling into tight fists, Chris could hear the sound of footsteps approaching, before the handle was turned and the door was swung open.

The second AJ came into view, Chris froze in place. His eyes though were alive and dancing with all kinds of emotion, and if anyone else had caught the look in his eyes at that moment in time, they would have run for the hills and never come back. Chris watched as AJ's glare bled into a malevolent smile, and as AJ leaned against the door easily, his eyes lit up with a disturbing happiness, Chris knew that he was seconds away from exploding in the worst kind of way.

Unable to control the burning anger that was threatening to engulf him, Chris gave up trying to reign it in anymore. Reaching out his hand, he suddenly grabbed a tight grip on AJ's throat, slamming his back up against the door as he advanced menacingly, boxing AJ into the solid wood frame behind him. Shock and confusion overtook AJ's features as his hand came up to start clawing at his throat, trying to gain a little bit of space to breathe, but Chris wasn't having any of it. Leaning forward, Chris let his lips brush against AJ's ear as he snarled viciously, dangerously at him, loving the way that AJ continued to struggle in his hold.

"Why AJ, I do believe that we need to have a chat, don't you?"

After one last tight squeeze, Chris let go of AJ's throat, before pushing him into the room with unreserved strength. AJ stumbled backwards before landing on his ass on the floor with a soft thud, glaring at Chris with nearly the same level of malice that Chris was unleashing upon him. AJ went to stand up, but Chris pounced forward, kicking AJ with all of his power straight in the ribs. AJ let out a groan of pain, doubling over on himself as he cradled his stomach, but the anger in his eyes didn't let up.

"8 months," Chris whispered icily, his voice literally shaking with rage. "8 fucking months, huh?"

Before AJ even had a chance to answer, Chris launched forward with another vicious kick to the ribs, taking great pleasure in the way that AJ let out the slightest of whimpers that he looked to be desperately trying to hold in. Staring up at Chris through half pained eyes, AJ initially looked confused; it was only a split second later when that evil grin spread across his face and he let out a harsh bark of laughter that unnerved Chris to no end.

"Aw, poor Alex. Too beaten and injured to fight his own battles, so he sends you instead? I should have known, the worthless slut. How is he, by the way?"

The playfully malicious and sarcastic tone of AJ's voice and the look on his face as he said the words did nothing to quell the anger that was growing by the second within Chris, and Chris couldn't stop himself from giving AJ another hard kick to the stomach. The hiss of pain that AJ let out was considerably louder this time round, and Chris flexed his toes to bring back the feeling after the viciousness of the shot as he glared down at AJ furiously. His entire body was shaking with rage that was begging to be released, but Chris restrained himself as best as he could; remember, he told himself mentally, this was to get answers as well as to inflict the beating of a lifetime.

"First off, that worthless slut is my fucking best friend. Second, how fucking dare you. After what you fucking did to him, I should fucking wring your neck until you can't fucking breathe anymore."

A dark smile crossed AJ's face as he stared up at Chris through pain-hooded eyes, and there was something in the disturbing light that flashed through them as he let out a rasped huff of laughter that only served to increase the uneasiness that Chris felt. It was no wonder that Alex was so damn scared of him if he could play those kind of games, Chris briefly thought, but he was mentally stronger than Alex was at that moment in time, and even the reasonably psychotic way AJ was looking at him didn't distract him from what he was there to do.

"Well go on then Sabin, I fucking _dare_ you to," AJ goaded, the fire in his voice completely at odds with the strain in his words that Chris knew was down to the hard shots to the stomach he had already taken. After a few moments of silence, AJ's patience and playful nature turned nasty as he screamed viciously at Chris. "Come on Chris! Fucking do it!"

Oh, Chris was so damn tempted to give into AJ's demands and throttle the life out of him; he wanted nothing more than to strangle AJ to within an inch of his life just like the way he had done to Alex multiple times. Chris wanted to hurt him. He wanted to bruise him and make him bleed. He wanted to make him beg and plead for forgiveness just like he'd forced Alex to do so many times; but he couldn't. As much as he wanted to cause AJ the worse pain imaginable, he wasn't going to do that by sinking to AJ's level.

Chris' hands clenched and unclenched by his side as the violent anger raging inside of him crackled and exploded uncontrollably, and it took all of his now battered self-restraint not to give into AJ's attempts to rile him up. Giving into AJ would be the last thing he would ever do. Despite the knowledge of knowing that Alex had been forced to give up at his feet a million times over the course of AJ's sickening abuse, Chris knew that doing the same would be the worst way of defending Alex the way that Chris wanted to.

Besides, if he showed any kind of weakness to AJ during the course of his beating, then he knew that AJ would pick up on it and use it to manipulate him the way that he had done to Alex. Chris had to be strong. He couldn't allow AJ any opportunity to gain the upper hand at any point whatsoever; if he wanted the answers from AJ that he desperately craved, he had to remain in control at all times. Control was power, and despite the idea of AJ exerting that kind of control and domination over Alex, Chris knew he had no choice but to do exactly the same to get what he wanted out of AJ.

That same twisted smile came over AJ's face again as he regarded Chris icily, his hand rubbing down his side in an attempt to ease the pain a little bit from the kicks that Chris had given him. The slight grimace that crossed AJ's face as he touched a particularly tender area was enough to make Chris smile in spite of himself. Sure, he didn't want to be reduced to AJ's level, but it didn't mean that he couldn't enjoy exacting some well deserved revenge upon the bastard.

"I knew you couldn't do it. You're just as pathetic as that stupid whore," AJ spat out venomously. "He couldn't do it either, no matter how many times I gave him the chance. Hell I gave him the chance earlier to fight back and do you know what he did?" When Chris didn't answer him, AJ shouted at him again. "Do you know what he fucking did?"

Chris closed his eyes, rolling his neck to try and ease some of the tension that was crawling through his body. It was utterly killing him to hear the way that AJ was talking about Alex like he didn't mean a goddamn thing, but Chris knew he couldn't give into the anger flying around his system if he wanted to get the answers he needed. Letting out a deep breath, Chris opened his eyes, locking his gaze with AJ as he shook his head slowly. AJ gave a vicious smirk.

"Absolutely nothing. Didn't you know that?" AJ asked sarcastically, before he let out a knowing, malicious smile at the pain that painted itself across Chris' face. "Or won't he speak to you either?"

Chris completely snapped. Every ounce of self-restraint and control that he'd been trying to hold onto completely abandoned him as he let out a feral cry before kicking AJ violently hard square in his face. A satisfying crack echoed around the room as AJ's hand immediately went up to cup his nose, but Chris could already see the blood that was starting to stream profusely down his face. Upon remembering the all too vivid image of Alex doing exactly the same, his face stained red after AJ had broken his nose in the same way, Chris launched forward, unable to control himself.

Dropping to his knees, Chris wrapped his hand tight around AJ's throat as he pushed him roughly into the floor. AJ's hand immediately left his nose as he started to claw at the tight grip around his neck, but Chris grabbed hold of his wrist, twisting his arm in a direction it definitely wasn't supposed to go and pinning it to the floor as AJ let out an involuntary hiss of pain. For a split second, Chris could've sworn he saw fear fly across AJ's face as he tightened his grasp even further, delighting in the way that AJ gasped for breath.

He was running on pure emotion now. Tears of anger and anguish were sparkling in his eyes as he looked down at AJ; if looks could kill, AJ would've been beyond a dead man at that moment in time. Chris' chest rising and falling haphazardly as he tried to reign in the pain and sadness that he felt after everything that Alex had gone through at AJ's demonic hands, Chris leaned over AJ menacingly, loving the way that AJ naturally had to fight the instinct to recoil into the floor.

"What the fuck did you do to him?" Chris snarled viciously. When AJ hadn't replied after a couple of seconds, Chris' control evaporated further as he screamed into AJ's face frantically. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM?"

The tension in the room became absolutely suffocating as Chris waited nervously to hear AJ's answer. If he was totally honest with himself, he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know exactly what AJ did try to do to him, but he figured that by knowing all of the details, it would help him try to help Alex even a little bit more than he could now. Chris was cut from his thoughts as AJ let out a rasped bark of laughter, each hard breath and gasp for air strained as Chris tightened his grip before letting go just enough to let AJ speak; he wasn't going to let go completely, just enough to lull him into a false sense of security.

"You wanna know Sabin? Do you really wanna know?" AJ breathed out calmly, a slightly unnerving edge to his voice. His eyes had lit up maliciously as he spoke, almost as if he was reminiscing on what he had done to Alex mere hours before, and Chris was almost starting to regret asking, but he had no choice but to listen as AJ gave him the answers he was looking for.

"I was going to kill him. I was going to slit his throat from ear to ear whilst fucking the life out of him. But I didn't. Oh I wanted to, more than anything, but I thought it would be more fun to watch him kill himself instead."

As AJ finished the final words, Chris' mind flashed back to the deep cut that was embedded on the side of Alex's throat when he'd found him and how Alex was so damn petrified of Chris touching him anywhere near his neck, sobbing and begging hysterically when Chris' fingers even brushed against the soft flesh surrounding the bleeding wound, and in that instant Chris' face flooded full of pure hatred and despise for AJ.

"You fucking bastard," Chris whispered angrily. The tears he'd been desperately trying to hold back began to bud and well in the corners of his eyes, and Chris tried to will them back down with all the strength he had as he stared back down at AJ. Even looking at him was enough to make Chris feel violently sick, and that only became worse when AJ gave Chris a disturbed grin, knowing that Chris' defences were beginning to crack.

"Do you have any idea how good it sounded to hear him beg? To hear him scream and sob for his pathetic little life whilst I was raping him? Do you have any idea how good it felt to feel him completely and utterly break beneath me? To feel him utterly destroy himself? Because let me tell you Sabin, I'd do it again, and he'd fucking let me. And do you know why that is? Because he's a worthless, messed-up and whored out waste of skin and air who fucking deserves to crawl back into the gutter and fucking kill hims-."

AJ had barely spat out the final word when the wave of emotion rolling over Chris overwhelmed him completely, and Chris no longer had the strength or the desire to restrain himself from letting rip on AJ. Drawing his hand back, he launched forward with a violently hard punch to AJ's face, blood splattering up his knuckles as he reeled off shot after shot at AJ's head and throat. He was almost a man possessed as he ignored AJ's cries and calls of pain and forgiveness, every inch of his being entirely consumed by the fire that had engulfed him, demanding revenge for every little thing AJ had done over the course of the last 8 months.

Even as AJ went limp underneath him, completely unable to fight back from the viciously tight grip that Chris had around his throat, Chris couldn't stop. The red mist that had descended over his mind was blinding him from any kind of rational thought at that moment in time, and he didn't give a shit that he was perilously close to unleashing pure hell on AJ and potentially murdering him. Thick streaks of blood were running profusely from AJ's nose and lip, and there was a deep cut just above his left eye that Chris had made with one perfectly placed punch. AJ's entire face was black and blue, swollen beyond recognition as AJ gasped and begged for air, but Chris still couldn't bring himself to let up for even a second.

It was like he had evolved into an entirely different man. He'd become blinded by rage and thrist for revenge that it had completely overridden the rest of his senses, and it only became worse when AJ began to struggle in his hold, frantically fighting to get Chris off of him. Chris glared down at him, his eyes almost black with adrenaline as his entire body began to shake with the force of his exertion, and Chris couldn't help but give a smile at the tears of desperation that were threatening to spill from AJ's eyes as he stared back up at weakly.

"How does it feel, huh? How the fuck does it feel?" Chris whispered viciously into AJ's ear, loving the way that AJ instinctively flinched back from the venom in his words. "Does it feel good, huh? Does it feel good?"

AJ shook his head frantically, and there was no mistaking the fear in his eyes as the tears he was desperately trying to hold back throughout the lack of oxygen began to escape down his bruised and bloody face. Chris grinned at AJ maliciously, giving AJ's throat one last tight squeeze before releasing the hold. The way that AJ writhed and convulsed on the floor as he tried to gain some air back into his lungs was exactly identical to the way that Alex had reacted in his room the day before when he had woken up, and the vivid reminder was enough to bring Chris back to himself.

Chris' chest rose and feel haphazardly as he took deep, heavy breaths, trying to calm himself down as he looked down at AJ's broken body. All of a sudden, the image of AJ was replaced with Alex laying on the floor in front of him, begging and pleading for his forgiveness, and Chris found himself feeling impossibly sick. In that instant, he began to realise exactly what he had done, and the self-loathing and guilt that slowly replaced the anger and drive for revenge made him shut his eyes as the tears he himself had been trying to hold back budded in his eyes relentlessly.

He was no better than AJ.

What had initially started off as revenge for everything that AJ had put Alex through over the last 8 months had descended into nothing more than pure brutality for the fun of it. He had reduced himself to AJ's level, and for what? Sure, it felt good to exact some well deserved pain on the sick bastard, but at the end of the day, it didn't help to achieve anything. Alex was still going to suffer because of everything that AJ had done to him. Alex was still going to be the same broken, shell of a man, and even though Chris had been able to get some answers out of AJ during the course of the beating, there was nothing he could do to make Alex feel any better.

Suddenly, panic began to infiltrate Chris' mind. Alex could've been doing absolutely anything whilst he was here. Images began to flash before Chris' mind of Alex sitting in the shower cutting his arm again, of Alex overdosing on painkillers and lying dead in their room, and in that instant Chris could feel a bubble of hysteria rush through him. He needed to get out of there, and now. That deep pulsing feeling of dread and fear was beginning to roil about in the pit of his stomach, and that had only ever meant bad things as far as Alex was concerned. Very bad things. After all, Chris knew that Alex had gotten hurt even before he'd finished his match, why would this time be any different from before?

Not even bothering to look back down at the half conscious heap that lay before him on the floor, Chris turned and fled the room, his heart beat pounding in his chest. He could feel the bile rising in his throat, but whether that was because of his current panic or because he felt physically sick with himself for what he had done, he wasn't entirely sure. All he knew was that he needed to get back to Alex, and he needed to get back there right that second. He felt beyond angry with himself; why the fuck had he even thought that leaving Alex alone, in the fragile state he was in, was a good idea? If Alex had hurt himself because Chris was too preoccupied with some petty feud, then Chris didn't think he'd be able to forgive himself.

The corridors seemed to drag on forever as Chris walked briskly back in the direction of his and Alex's room, and Chris was almost starting to become convinced that every row of doors was merging together. He could only feel his panic and fear increasing with every step that he took, and after quickly looking around the vicinity to make sure there was no-one around, Chris couldn't stop himself from beginning to run full speed as fast as he could back to their room. It felt like he was on a bad acid trip, and that did nothing to stop the overwhelming feeling of dread that was continuing to push at his gut as he turned the corner, getting ever closer to the room.

How could he have been so damn stupid? He chastised himself angrily, his mind conjuring up even more disturbing images of the sorts of things that could've happened to Alex whilst he was gone. How could he let himself get so consumed in his irrational hatred for AJ that he couldn't see the importance of the man in front of him? Alex meant more to him than any revenge on AJ could ever do, and he was thoroughly pissed at himself for not realising that earlier.

He was almost beginning to wish that he hadn't gone after AJ, that he'd listened to his own fears and self-doubt and completely forgotten about exacting his petty revenge and stayed with Alex like he should have done from the beginning. Healing Alex was his priority, especially considering just how low and depressed Alex had revealed himself to be, and as he ran up the first flight of stairs back to the room, he was annoyed with himself for letting anything cloud that. Alex meant more to him than anything else in the world, and the fact that he had thrown that aside just to go after AJ made him question exactly who he was as a friend and protector, just what kind of person that actually made him.

The more he put some thought into it, the more he realised that he didn't actually recognise who the hell he was. The fact that he'd so easily thrown Alex aside when he needed him the most was something that sickened Chris to the core. The fact that he'd gotten so much pleasure out of choking the life out of AJ and reducing him to nothing more than a broken down heap on the floor - despite AJ deserving it more than anything - was something that honestly scared him. The idea that he could become so disconnected from reality, that he could sink to AJ's level and inflict that kind of violence on another person made him question whether or not it was actually safe for Alex to be around him if he could do that. If he could do that to AJ, what was to stop him doing that to Alex?

Chris paused at the top of the stairwell, completely exhausted from the effort of all of his exertions. The beating he'd given AJ had drained him both physically and mentally, and the journey back to the room had only tired him out further. Leaning back against the wall briefly, he bent forward, resting his hands on his knees as he tried to calm himself down. He was overreacting, right? Well, he certainly hoped that he was. He was almost desperately praying that he'd get back to the room to find Alex laying on the bed, asleep and relaxed for the first time in hours, but as the seconds passed, Chris was starting to become more and more paranoid about what Alex could've possibly done to himself, and after a few more moments of catching his breath, he proceeded up the rest of the steps, albeit at a slightly slower pace than he had been moving previously.

The stairs seemed to go on forever, but eventually, Chris stepped out onto the landing, and after swinging the door open, he started to walk down the corridor that lead to his and Alex's room. His legs felt heavy, and each step that he took seemed like it echoed between the walls as his heart beat only increased its speed. He was finding it hard to control his breathing, and by the time he was only a few doors down from the room, he almost felt like he was going to start hyperventilating from the fear and panic that was coursing through his system.

Reaching the door to their room, Chris grabbed the keycard out of his back pocket, fumbling with the plastic as his hands continued to shake violently. It took him a few attempts to gather together the co-ordination to actually swipe it through the reader, and Chris barely noticed when the light on the lock turned green, as blinded from it as he was in his panic. Eventaully, Chris noticed it, and he quickly swung the door open with a loud thud before stepping inside.

The room was dark, and there was no sign of anybody actually being in there as Chris instinctively walked straight into the bedroom. The bed was still fully made, and it became obvious that Alex hadn't been anywhere near it. That was something that concerned Chris deeply; Alex obviously hadn't been able to relax or sleep like Chris had hoped he would've been able to, and the idea that Alex had been awake and alert to all of his pain and suffering whilst Chris was out was something that made Chris feel involuntarily sick.

Walking further into the room, Chris could see a slither of light coming from a crack in the bathroom door, but there was still no sound. There was no indication that anybody was even in the room, and that was something that scared Chris as he slowly approached the bathroom, his heart thudding in his chest with each and every step. The door was open just a little bit, and when Chris got close enough, he could see a shadow cast across the floor and up the wall. The shadow wasn't moving.

Panic rolling over Chris in thick waves, he strode over to the door, giving it a push. It wouldn't open. It was stuck on something that was preventing it from opening more than a few inches, and that did nothing to quell the fear and dread that was continuing to build inside of Chris. Wedging his shoulder into the gap in the door that Chris had made, he tried to peer around into the bathroom, when he saw a sight that made his blood run cold.

A hand on the floor.

Chris panicked. His breath coming in short, sharp bursts, he focused all of his strength on getting the fucking door open; counting to three, he drove his shoulder into the wood with as much strength as he could muster. After 3 or 4 attempts, the door was opening wider now, and with every crack further that was revealed, Chris could see more of an arm lifelessly across the floor. The arm was stained with blood, and there was a puddle of red pooling on the floor, gradually getting bigger and bigger with each passing second.

The fingers was sickeningly pale, and there was absolutely no sign of movement; Chris could feel the tears budding in his eyes as his efforts became more frantic. Taking a deep breath, Chris could feel his hand shaking violently with fear as he gave one last hard shove at the door. Chris could've almost cried with relief when it opened just wide enough for him to get inside; Desperately begging with himself that he was dreaming, Chris stepped into the room, almost screaming in horror at the sight that greeted him.

"Alex!"


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Woo! I'm baaaaaaaaaaack! First off, I apologise immensely for not posting this sooner. I had so much happen over the last couple of months it was unreal, but I finally had the time to get this written! I seriously hope you all enjoy this! :)**

**A massive thank you to all the lovely people who left reviews in my absence! I'm glad you enjoy it so much! Remember, if you want to leave any reviews, whether bad or good, it will be greatly appreciated! :)**

**As always, I don't own anybody who pops their heads up during the course of this fic :(**

**Just a final warning: The end of this chapter does get very dark and intense, and does feature attempted suicide. You have been warned!**

**Hope you all enjoy! :)**

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><p>The billowing steam was scorching hot by the time Alex stepped into the shower, his skin immediately screaming under the mercilessly scolding torrent of water that rained down on him. Unable to stop his natural reactions, Alex flinched back slightly as the water hit the bruises developing down his ribs, giving out an involuntary hiss of pain as the tears welled up in his eyes. He could hear the softest of sighs coming from Chris, and he knew that Chris was desperately unhappy with what Alex was trying to do to himself, but he was respectful enough not to question Alex's decision. After all, what could Chris actually do? Chris, despite his best efforts, could never fully understand what AJ had done to him. He'd never understand just how much AJ had broken him.<p>

After a couple of minutes, he could see the shadow on the wall move as Chris headed towards the door, and as it clicked shut, Alex could feel the tension flood back through him. He was alone. Alone, he had time to reflect on everything that AJ had done, on just how much pain and suffering he could feel running through his entire body. As he turned to stare distantly into the tiles that lined the shower, he could still hear AJ's vicious taunts and screams of abuse echoing through his head clear as day. He could still hear the malicious laugh that AJ gave out whilst he was raping him, and as the ripple of water ran down the wall, he could've almost sworn that he could see AJ's face, staring straight back at him, that sick grin still plastered on his face.

Alex frantically turned away from the tiles, his breathing fast and heavy as the tears that he was desperately trying to hold back began to roll down his face. He could still feel the ghost of AJ's fingers touching his skin, AJ's hands running forcefully up the inside of his thighs, and Alex began to feel impossibly sick as he screwed his eyes shut, trying to stop the images that were assaulting him from every side. They didn't disappear; if anything, they came at him worse than before, viciously attacking him, and Alex felt completely helpless to stop them.

The pain that Alex could feel pulsing through his body throbbed relentlessly as the sense memories of AJ beating him, fucking him, cutting and biting him came roaring back. Alex's hand immediately came up to cup the side of his neck, covering up the deep cut embedded on the side as a strangled sob threaded itself through his swollen throat. He'd never felt so damn scared in his life. Looking around from side to side, Alex tried to find something, anything, that he could use to fight the invisible attackers that were surrounding him, boxing him in. He felt like he was trapped, no way out as the walls closed in around him.

Grabbing a wash cloth, he started to scrub frantically, desperate to erase the cheapness, the dirtiness that he felt crawl across him. He could feel goosebumps break out across his skin where AJ had touched him, where the AJ in his mind was still touching and stroking his skin, and Alex could feel the bile rising in his throat as he gave a choked sob, his scrubbing instinctively becoming more and more vicious as the fear and pain he felt became worse. No matter how hard, how red raw he rubbed his skin, he still couldn't rid himself of his memories, of the sickening feeling of worthlessness that coursed through his veins. He was never going to be cleansed. He was always going to be used. Filthy. Abused. A whore.

His hands now moving at an almost blurred pace, he threw the cloth to the floor in a fit of spontaneous panic upon the realisation that he couldn't get rid of AJ's vile touches; he could still feel them. He felt completely numb on the inside as a bubble of hysteria rapidly began to surface from underneath his marked and battered skin, and he started to hyperventilate, completely unable to regain control of the body that now felt entirely foreign to him.

His back resting flush against the damp tiles, he could feel the cold shivers of sweat running over him, a stark contrast to the scolding heat of the water that was continuing to rain down on him. His vision glazed over with fear and terror, he no longer had the strength to support himself anymore as he felt his legs give way beneath him. Sliding down, he curled his knees into his chest, burying his face as hysterical sobs echoed through the room.

He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't fight it. With each and every second that passed, he could feel himself sinking lower and lower as the want and urge to die became stronger and stronger. He needed to do something, _anything_, just to put a stop to the constant agony that his life had become. Lifting his head, he could barely feel the burning pain, the constant tears, anything through the unrelenting rainstorm; his skin had turned an angry red from the obsessive, frenetic scrubbing and the cascading water. Out of the corner of his eye, he could make out an object. A razor. Almost as if he was disconnected from his own actions, Alex couldn't stop himself from reaching out to grab it, pulling it into himself slowly.

He stared down at it vacantly, the tip of his finger almost caressing the plastic that held the blades in place as the light glinted and shone off of the metal. The tears streaming down his face, and his hand beginning to shake, he began to frantically pull and claw at the casing that contained the blades, desperately trying to reach them. That was what he needed. That was what would help him. He needed to feel that tiny bit of control that AJ could never take from him. He needed to feel pain inflicted by his own hand. He needed to bleed.

Eventually, the plastic broke apart in his hands. Almost wanting to sob with relief at the feel of the cold, heavy metal in his grasp, he carefully placed the plastic and the rest of the blades down on the floor of the shower, desperately praying that he'd kept quiet enough not to gain Chris' attention. At the thought of Chris, Alex briefly paused, the tears coming harder and faster as he devoted a few moments to the surge of emotion that rolled over him at the mere vision of Chris waiting for him on the other side of the door. Why would Chris ever love him now? How could Chris possibly care for a worthless, pathetic whore like him? He wasn't worth it. He didn't deserve Chris.

Through teary eyes, Alex gazed down at the single blade that was held between his violently shaking fingers, before slowly lowering it to rest against the flesh on his forearm. At the feel of the cold metal touching his boiling hot and overly sensitive skin, Alex winced, and he almost lost all of his nerve. Closing his eyes, Alex took some deep breaths to try and calm himself; he couldn't back out now. He needed to do this. He needed to be able to feel something more than the excruciating pain and shame that he felt crawling across every inch of his being. He pushed all thoughts of Chris to the back of his mind; if he thought about Chris now, there was no way he'd be able to do this. He couldn't afford to think for more than a few seconds, otherwise he'd end up chickening out.

Biting his bottom lip hard to stop himself from screaming out in pain, Alex pressed the blade hard into his arm before slowly drawing his hand across the skin. He could feel the flesh buckle under the metal, the blood beginning to bead and run down his arm, and he took a deep breath to compose himself before he opened his eyes and stared down at the wound. It was deep, the blood mixing with the water and rolling almost profusely down his skin before dripping off the tip of his fingers. It stung like fuck, and as the red hot pain began to engulf the cut, he could feel the tears come harder and fast as he let out a strangled sob.

Pushing aside the pain, he repeated the action again. And again. Almost every inch of his skin was stained a disturbing shade of red as the blood poured out of his arm and dripped onto the floor below, but Alex could no longer feel it. His entire arm had gone numb; it reflected just how numb he felt on the inside. There was no relief. There was no rush of calmness. There was nothing. It was almost like he was dead. He felt dead.

The blade came down again, more frantic and fast than beforehand as Alex sliced into his skin. He didn't care for just how close to his wrist he was getting; as far as he was concerned, this was a possible means to an end, and if that was the case, then that was that. The cuts became more frenzied, as the desire to feel something, _anything_, became stronger and stronger, but it felt as if Alex's body was refusing to co-operate with him. Eventually, Alex had to pause. The loss of blood was making him feel dizzy, and his hand was shaking so damn violently now that he was surprised he could even keep hold of the blade, let alone do anything with it.

Through choked, hiccuped sobs, Alex attempted to take a few deep breaths to calm himself down, but it wasn't working. He felt like he was going to start hyperventilating again when he realised that his desperate attempts to end it all weren't working. He was resigned to living a life full of pain and misery. Figuring he had nothing to lose, Alex pressed the blade down onto his wrist. He could just about make out a shadow out of the corner of his eye, watching him, but he couldn't give a shit as he drew the harsh metal across the soft flesh. He hadn't even finished making the cut before the blood spilled out, faster than before, and as the white hot agony shot through his hand, Alex couldn't stop himself from cradling his arm into his chest as he gave a deep hiss of pain.

The shadow slowly moved closer towards him, and as Alex focused through the tears and the water that was half blinding him, he could recognise exactly who was standing there watching him. The boiling hot water that had been pouring down over his beaten and battered body suddenly stopped, and the rush of cold air that followed the loss of heat made Alex shiver as he gave out a half-choked sob. Lifting his head up just slightly, he stared distantly at Chris, watching as Chris slowly dropped to his knees in front of him. His eyes were soft and sympathetic, and as they locked with Alex's, Alex couldn't help the wave of self-loathing and despair that he felt wash over him.

Would Chris get angry with him? Would Chris abandon him? Would Chris hate him? Alex could barely deal with what his life had become; he didn't think he'd be able to survive if Chris turned his back on him now when he needed him the most. He wouldn't be able to survive if Chris left him alone to suffer by himself. It would utterly destroy him, and Alex didn't think he'd be able to carry on if Chris wasn't there by his side to support and care for him. Chris was the only worthwhile thing that he had left. He couldn't lose him. Not now.

Alex watched as Chris paused for a few moments, almost as if he wasn't entirely sure as to what to do, before he slowly reached his hand out towards Alex, and Alex immediately knew exactly what it was that Chris was asking of him. Chris wasn't demanding him. Chris wasn't even telling him what to do, and Alex couldn't help but be thankful that Chris was obviously taking this a hell of a lot better than Alex had envisioned. The metal blade suddenly felt extremely heavy and cold in his hand, but Alex couldn't bring himself to let go of it. If he let go of it, then that meant he was surrendering to his only chance of ending his life the way he wanted to.

Tilting his head back against the rapidly cooling tiles behind him, Alex screwed his eyes shut, tears streaming down his face as he desperately tried to fight the voice in his mind, the one that told him to push away the figure in front of him, to carry out what he intended to do, to stop being such a coward. After a few minutes of silence, Alex shakily stretched out his hand towards Chris, the blade almost slipping from his grip before he dropped it into Chris' open hand. Never once taking his eyes off of Alex, Chris moved the blade out of Alex's reach, his heart thudding in his chest as he looked back into Alex's haunted stare.

Suddenly, the need for some kind of physical touch, the comfort that only being skin to skin with somebody could provide, completely overwhelmed Alex, and he collapsed forward, his head resting on Chris' shoulder. He grabbed desperately at Chris' t-shirt, burying his face into the soft flesh of Chris' neck as he sobbed hysterically, his entire body shaking as he gave up fighting the tension and the fear that he felt. He was so scared. For a terrifying second, Alex was convinced that Chris wasn't going to do anything, but his fears were laid to rest when Chris wrapped his arms tight around Alex's back, embracing him with every ounce of love and protection that he possessed as he rested his head softly against Alex's.

"Shhh," Chris whispered into Alex's ear, not caring if Alex could hear him over the sound of his continuous sobs. "Shhh, it's okay. Come on now, it's going to be okay..."

_No it won't be_, Alex replied silently. _No it won't be._

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><p>Alex rested his back flat against the wall, staring distantly across the room. He didn't want to make eye contact with Chris. He was terrified of what he'd see staring back at him. He was terrified of the anger, of the disgust that he was completely positive would be seeping out of every pore on Chris' skin. He felt utterly sickened with himself, so why would Chris feel any differently? Alex could feel Chris' eyes on him as he sat slumped back against the wall by the bathroom door, and he couldn't help but tense up slightly. How could Chris even stand to look at him after what AJ had done to him, after what <em>he<em> had done to himself?

It had confused Alex immensely when Chris had extended his hand towards him, offering to help him off of the floor of the shower. The look of sincerity and adoration in Chris' eyes as he had stared down at Alex, softly whispering to him that it would all be okay, that he still loved him, was something that had made Alex's heart clench up in his chest and the feeling of nausea rise up in his gut. Chris loved him. How _could_ Chris love him? How could he love a disgusting, dirty whore like _him_? He wasn't worthy of any kind of love. AJ had taken whatever fragile images of love he had and reduced them to utter tatters at his feet. Chris _couldn't_ love him. He just couldn't. He didn't deserve Chris' love.

Eventually, Alex had gathered together the strength to reach out towards Chris, his arm now sticky and thick with drying blood as Chris had helped him to his feet. For a few seconds, their eyes had met, and the tension that had filled the room had almost become suffocating. As the moments stretched by, Alex could feel the tears beginning to well up once more, and it almost physically hurt him when he dropped his gaze to the floor, desperately trying not to break down again. Chris had squeezed Alex's hand gently in response, before he had grabbed a towel and softly started to dry Alex off.

With every soft stroke of Chris' hands, Alex had been waiting for the shiver that always followed Chris' touch, the one that sent a warm feeling of contentment through him. It hadn't come. All he felt was empty. Chris' head had ducked down to place the gentlest of kisses on the back of Alex's neck, before he had nuzzled his cheek softly into the bruised, tense flesh. Alex couldn't respond to him. Alex couldn't feel Chris. He couldn't feel his warmth. He couldn't feel his affection. He couldn't feel anything. Alex heard Chris give out a sad sigh before he continued to dry his back, and it did nothing to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. He was hurting Chris, and that was something that killed him more than anything.

Even after about 20 minutes of the softest, most luxurious care that Chris could provide him with, Alex hadn't felt any better than he did when he had initially stepped into the shower, and as Chris' hand gently clasped his left wrist, careful of the deep cut in it, Alex had tensed up quite considerably. This was the lecture he had been fearing, the abuse that he knew was going to come. But it hadn't. After tenderly wiping his thumb over the still bleeding cut, Chris had turned towards the sink and grabbed a cloth before damping it down.

Turning back towards Alex, Chris had carefully and tentatively pressed the cloth against Alex's forearm, and Alex could see the guilt crossing Chris' face when Alex had flinched slightly, giving a quiet whimper of pain. Letting out a deep breath that Alex had presumed was to help calm himself down, Chris had started to wipe away the dried blood that had stained Alex's arm a sickening shade of red. As the blood had been cleaned away, the near shocking extent of what Alex had done to himself had become visible, the deep, frenzied cuts covering almost every inch of his flesh, and Chris' breath had hitched in his throat.

Looking back up at Alex sadly, Chris had leaned forward, pressing soft, tender kisses to each and every individual cut, and the agonising vulnerability that had painted itself across Alex's features had made Chris shut his eyes against threatening tears of his own. Alex had found himself shying away from the attention quite considerably; he didn't deserve that level of care and attention off of Chris. He didn't deserve anything that Chris was offering to him. He didn't deserve Chris. He didn't even deserve to live after what AJ had done to him. He didn't deserve anything.

That had led to now. Chris had given Alex a pair of boxers for him to wear, and after fumbling about with the clothing, his hands shaking so badly that he was surprised he could hold anything, Alex had eventually dressed himself. He had taken a deep breath to compose himself before he stepped out of his sanctuary, but not even the moment after he had left the room, Alex could feel all of that strength flee as he collapsed against the wall. He hadn't moved since. He couldn't bring himself to move.

In his own little bubble, he felt safe - well, as safe as he possibly could feel, which wasn't very much at all. He could still feel the ghost of AJ's fingers roaming greedily over his skin, and the goosebumps that had appeared in the shower came back tenfold as Alex began to scratch at his skin, desperate to get rid of the memories that were still attacking him. He gave out hisses of pain as his nails dug into the fresh cuts on his arm, but he didn't care for the blinding agony that was beginning to pulse through his arm. The adrenaline was beginning to build up inside of him as the flashbacks became more and more violent, and Alex's could feel his ties to reality being severed as he was absorbed further and further into the nightmarish world that his life had become.

Alex screamed out in pure unadulterated fear when he felt a hand clasp down softly over his own, flinching so damn violently that he ended up hitting his head hard on the door frame behind him. His entire body was viciously shaking with terror, and Alex started to hyperventilate once more as the replays in his mind hit a fever pitch, becoming so darkly intense that Alex almost felt as if he was there in that dirty little lockerroom again, being raped and beaten once more by AJ. He could barely hear anything over the maniacal laughter and taunts rushing through his ears; he definitely couldn't hear Chris calling out his name, desperately trying to pull Alex out of his flashback.

Chris could feel the tears welling up further in his eyes as he watched Alex beg and plead for AJ to stop, watched him frantically fight back against his attacker, and the knowledge that he didn't have anyway of soothing Alex like he had done beforehand was enough to make him feel horribly sick. Instead, he just sat there in front of Alex's fear frozen body, his hand clasped tightly over Alex's as a way for Alex to anchor himself to the present, and just waited for the flashback to run its course. It utterly killed Chris that he had no way of stopping the pain and torture that Alex was obviously suffering through, but he knew that even just being there for Alex when he came back around would be more than nothing.

Eventually, the cries and calls began to quieten as Alex slowly came back to himself, his breathing fast and shallow as the shaking that was ripping through his body increased its intensity. His eyes were glazed over, and it almost seemed to Chris as if he was staring straight through him, not actually seeing him, and that was something that concerned Chris more than anything. Feeling that Alex was coming to the end of his nightmare, Chris started to softly call Alex's name again, and he gave a faint smile when Alex turned to look at him, the sweat pouring off of him as he clutched convulsively at Chris' hand covering his own.

"I'm here Alex, I'm right here, I promise," Chris whispered, dropping a kiss into Alex's hair as he pulled Alex into him.

Alex was barely recognising the fact that Chris was touching him; he could barely feel Chris there at all. He felt like he was alone. Completely and utterly alone, like there was no-one there in the darkness that had surrounded him. He was completely and utterly traumatised, and he knew that there was absolutely nothing that Chris could do to help him feel any better. As the tremors that were wracking his body slowly came to an end, Alex became more aware of the fact that Chris was holding him, and that was something that helped to soothe him even just a little bit as he gradually began to relax into Chris' body, the tension leaving his body as he gave up fighting against the fear that he could feel.

His head slumped against Chris' chest, Alex could just about hear the quiet, steady rhythm of Chris' heartbeat vibrating through his ear; Alex desperately tried to draw some kind of comfort from it as he buried his face further into the warm, soft flesh of Chris' body, but he coudn't. It only made him feel horribly sick. Everything about Chris, his mind, body and soul, was so full of life and energy that it was unreal. As Alex focused in on the soft murmer of his own heartbeat thudding almost silently inside him, he didn't feel that same kind of spirit and exuberance. He felt dead. He deserved to be dead. He didn't deserve to live.

They stayed like that on the floor for what seemed like hours, Chris' arms wrapped firmly around Alex's still violently trembling body as he whispered words of love and adoration into his ear. Chris' fingertips were teasing through Alex's damp hair, occasionally straying to massage small, delicate circles into the slowly bruising flesh that ran down the length of Alex's neck and into the curve of his shoulder. He was careful not to touch the deep cut embedded into the side of Alex's throat; anytime Chris' fingers brushed anywhere close to it, Alex panicked, freaking out and tensing up uncontrollably, and that only served to increase Chris' concern and anger.

Chris could barely imagine what AJ had threatened to do to Alex for him to have such a vicious wound like that inflicted right on top of his pulse point, but he was pretty damn sure that he was going to find out when he eventually went to hunt down AJ and kick his face in. However, everytime he looked down at Alex, everytime he heard the softest of sobs and felt the shallowest of breaths brush against the crook of his neck, it became harder for Chris to reconcile himself to the idea of leaving Alex by himself just so that he could get some petty revenge.

Letting out a deep sigh, Chris gazed down at Alex guiltily, noticing with interest and a small amount of relief at the way Alex's eyes had closed and how his lips were slightly parted. Alex was asleep. It didn't really surprise Chris; he knew that Alex had to be physically and emotionally drained after AJ's attack, and it made his heart clench up in his chest that Alex apparently still trusted him enough, even after AJ had raped and beaten him, to fall asleep in his company and not feel the slightest bit worried.

Biting his lip softly, Chris' eyes kept flitting from Alex to the door and back again. Maybe this was the opportunity he needed? Alex was way too vulnerable to be left by himself when he was awake, but if he was asleep, then Chris could sneak off and potentially be back before Alex even had the chance to wake up and notice that he wasn't there. It wasn't something that Chris really wanted to do; what if Alex woke up and he needed him? What if Alex had yet another nightmare or flashback? However, the more he thought about it, the more he realised that this was probably going to be the only chance he would get.

Tucking Alex into him further, Chris very carefully hooked his arm underneath Alex's legs before picking the sleeping man up. It surprised Chris as to just how light and quite scarily thin Alex actually was; it almost felt like he hadn't been eating properly. If Chris moved his fingers just slightly along Alex's side, he was pretty damn sure that he could make out the indents where his ribs were; hell, the closer towards Alex's abdomen he traced his fingertips, he was almost fucking positive that he could make out where the breaks in Alex's ribs were failing to heal up. It made Chris' heart ball up tight in his chest and tears well up in his eyes when he realised that Alex was obviously suffering much, much worse than Chris had originally thought.

Guarding Alex as though he was some kind of precious cargo - well, in Chris' mind, he was - Chris carried Alex over to the bed, before very gently laying him down on the covers. Cradling the side of Alex's head as he carefully propped the pillows underneath it, Chris could feel the way that Alex almost seemed to instinctively nuzzle his head against the palm of Chris' hand; it made Chris smile slightly in spite of his discomfort and growing concern. It sent a warm glow of contentment through him that, even in his sleep, Alex still seemed to reach out towards him for some kind of comfort. The fact that Alex trusted him was what made everything he was doing worthwhile.

Positioning Alex on his back, his legs curled up slightly and his hand draped across his stomach in an almost protective manner, Chris moved to sit next to him on the edge of the bed. It was impossible for Chris to keep his eyes off of him; despite the tension and the tightness that still wracked Alex's body, Alex looked so relaxed and innocent; he was beautiful, and it killed Chris to know that AJ had tried, and possibly succeeded, in utterly destroying him for no reason.

Gently teasing his fingers through Alex's hair, he gave a smile at the way that Alex's lips twitched just slightly at the softness of his touch; after the incident in the bathroom where Alex hadn't been able to respond in any way to the care that Chris was trying to give him, it calmed Chris down to see that he could still have that effect on Alex, even after everything he had been through. Unable to resist, Chris leaned down, brushing feather-light kisses along the length of the vicious purple and black bruises that marred most of Alex's face, almost as if that overwhelming love alone could potentially get rid of them, before pressing his lips softly against Alex's own.

It almost felt as if time had stopped for Chris as his lips gently molded to Alex's, but after what had actually been a couple of minutes, Chris pulled away with a deep sigh, gazing down sadly at Alex's sleeping form. Stroking the backs of his fingers down the curve of Alex's neck, Chris softly traced the deep wound on the side of his throat that Alex hadn't allowed him access to; even in his sleep, he could feel Alex's muscles tense and tighten in fear. It was when Alex let out almost the faintest whimper as he curled up into himself slightly, Chris' fingers been dragged away from the mark in the process, that Chris' resolve and determination strengthened. AJ needed to pay. AJ needed to suffer just as much as he'd made Alex suffer.

Sending one last guilty look at the door to their room, Chris leaned down towards Alex again, pressing a gentle kiss into his hairline just next to the cut that lay above his right temple before pulling away reluctantly. Chris grabbed the hand that was laying on the bed next to Alex's stomach and, intertwining their fingers carefully to make sure he didn't disturb Alex from his sleep, he gave a gentle squeeze.

"I love you," Chris whispered, his words thick with the emotion that he was feeling. Wiping away the tears that were threatening to run down his face with his free hand, he softly squeezed Alex's hand again before he let go and stood up. "I'll be back soon."

Taking a deep breath, Chris finally drew his eyes away from Alex and stared intently at the door; he knew if he looked back down at Alex at that precise second in time, his resolve would crumble into dust, and he'd lay back down in the bed with him instead of carrying out what he felt needed to be done. His own thoughts and fears began to plague him once again; did he _really_ need to do this? Was it worth leaving Alex? How would he be able to live with himself if Alex got hurt whilst he was gone? Could he put Alex through all of that?

Closing his eyes tightly, Chris rolled his neck, pushing all of his thoughts to the back of his mind as much as he could before he started to walk across the room towards the door. There was no turning back now. He was doing this for Alex. He was doing this for _them_. Opening the door quietly, Chris slipped out into the corridor and closed the door silently behind him, never looking back for one second.

* * *

><p><em>It was gone midnight when Alex quietly entered his room, his nerves and fear running rampant through his entire body as he tried to slip in without drawing attention to himself. He was desperately hoping and praying to find AJ asleep on their double bed. One quick drink with his friends - one that, he knew, he wasn't supposed to have whatsoever considering the fact that AJ demanded he go straight back to their room after Impact had finished - after the tapings had grown into an impromptu party, the alcohol flowing freely as people tried to use the amber liquid to chase away the exhaustion. Alex had already spent too long in the bar; he was surprised that AJ hadn't come down and forcibly dragged him back upstairs. <em>

_He knew that he had broken the rules; he had disobeyed AJ in one of the worst ways possible. He had blatantly ignored his demands and, to make things so much more worse, hung out with other men willingly, something that AJ had drilled into Alex's head time and time again was a bad thing to do. That would be more than enough grounds for AJ to inflict a severe beating on him, no matter what Alex said and did to try and protect or defend himself. Lost in his thoughts and fears, he hadn't noticed that AJ was standing in the door of the kitchen, watching Alex with pure venom and disgust in his eyes, and Alex jumped out of his skin in terror when he heard the door slam shut._

_"Where the fuck have you been?" AJ whispered icily at Alex. Alex had come to know that tone of voice; it was the tone that he feared most of all, the one that made him cower in fear whenever he heard it. Grabbing the younger mans shoulder and spinning him around, AJ glared menacingly as Alex's panic-frozen body as he took a slow step forwards towards him. Alex instinctively stepped back. The dread was written all over his face as AJ stalked him methodically across the room, and when Alex felt something solid behind his back, that was when his heart beat tripled in speed as he tried not to hyperventilate. His back flush against the wall, he came nose to nose with AJ, fearful tremors making themselves known._

_Alex couldn't answer AJ; his words were stuck in the back of his throat, choking him as his breaths started to become shallow. AJ leaned in towards Alex's body, planting his hands on the wall either side of Alex's head. The way that AJ's fingers were drumming a faint rhythm right into his ear was something that scared him more than anything; that meant that AJ wanted an answer, and he wanted it_ _now. Panicking when AJ's eyes narrowed malevolently as the silence continued, his body gradually boxing Alex into the wall, Alex immediately groped for an excuse._

_"I g-got ask-k-ked by Dixie t-to stay behind a-a-and..." He hadn't even finished his sentence when AJ lunged forward, his forehead pressed hard against Alex's own so that Alex couldn't do anything to avoid the piercing rage that AJ locked onto him. Alex flinched violently, and he recoiled into the hard wall behind him as AJ glared at him viciously._

_"Bullshit Alex, stop lying to me! So who were you whoring yourself out to this time, huh?" AJ's tone was sinister, cold and dangerous, his eyes darkened with anger as he fixed his gaze with the visibly scared Alex._

_Alex didn't answer. He knew that it was completely worthless trying to defend himself now, and he resigned himself to his fate. The same fate that had happened everyday for over 8 months now. He hissed when he felt AJ's hands suddenly move off of the wall, gripping on his shoulders as AJ shoved him further back against the wall with unreserved strength. With every second of silence that passed, with every tear that began to fall down Alex's face as he realised what was going to happen, AJ's hold on him tightened to the point of bruising._

_AJ almost gave a disturbed grin at the way Alex looked to be resisting him; it was pathetic, he thought evilly. After a few more minutes of feeling Alex shake violently in his grasp, of watching the tears race down his cheeks, AJ just shook his head in disbelief, a dark laugh echoing around the room. Just as quickly as the laugh started, it stopped, and the whole atmosphere changed in the blink of an eye as he physically pulled Alex up straight, seething with rage. He roughly cupped his cheek, eliciting a whimper from the younger man._

_"Don't you dare fucking lie to me again, you worthless piece of shit! You belong to me, I own you!" He growled threateningly, drawing his hand back sharply before connecting with a stiff punch to the face, watching with a sick smirk as Alex crumpled to the floor, shaking with fear as tears rolled down his cheek. He bent down, wrapping a hand around his throat fiercely, delighting in the staggered breath that Alex fought to take. The grip around Alex's neck tightening dangerously, AJ roughly dragged him over to the bed in the middle of the room, ignoring Alex's begs and sobs for forgiveness as he threw him viciously on the top of the covers before pinning him down with his body._

_"And I'll make sure that you never fucking forget it," he whispered maliciously as he clawed at Alex's jeans, not caring for Alex's struggling and pleading as he got them undone before popping the button on his own..._

With a strangled cry of terror, Alex's eyes flew open, the sweat pouring down his face. He was practically hyperventilating as he tried to shake off the remnants of the nightmare that was assaulting his mind, every muscle in his body tensed and violently shaking as the tears began to well up in his eyes. He tried to relax himself as much as he could, but sharp stabs of agonising hurt began to ripple through him and he couldn't stop himself from letting out a pained whimper.

That dream had been way too much for him to handle. It was too much for him to suffer through after what AJ had done to him earlier that day. Every moment he was awake, he was subjected to the pain and humiliation, to the overwhelming fear and shame that flooded every inch of his mind; he couldn't deal with it happening when he was asleep as well. There seemed to be no respite from the torture that his life had ultimately become, and that was what scared Alex more than anything. At that moment in time, he was desperate to make it all stop; he was willing to do whatever it took to make all of the haunting nightmares and memories disappear, no matter how permanent it was. He just needed it to stop. He needed his life to stop.

It wasn't until Alex gradually came back to himself that he realised something was wrong. There was no whispers of comfort or reassurance. There were no warm arms enveloping his body to soothe away his pain and fear. There were no soft lips pressed to his skin to prove his worthiness, or to prove that he was loved. As those thoughts started to hit him, Alex suddenly began to feel cold, the tears he'd been desperately to try and hold back escaping down his bruised face as his stomach knotted up tight and his heart literally stopped beating within his chest.

Chris was gone.

Chris had abandoned him.

Chris had _left_.

Alex could no longer restrain the sobs that had already begun to rip through him, destroying every inch of his soul as he buried his face into the pillow, desperately praying that this was nothing more than a sick dream. However, as the minutes passed, and the suffocating silence continued, Alex realised that his worst fears had come true. Chris, the one man he thought would help him survive this, truly had been disgusted by him; so disgusted that he'd slipped out without a word. He couldn't even bear to be in the same room as him. He'd abandoned him. Chris hated him. Chris wanted him to suffer. Chris didn't care about him. Chris didn't care if Alex died. Chris didn't love him.

Alex let out another heart-breaking sob as he tried to fight through his fears, but try as he might, he couldn't. He felt completely sick to his stomach, struggling even to take in a breath as he gave up believing anymore. He just couldn't do this anymore. Chris was all that Alex had left, and he had thrown him to the roadside without a single care. It didn't surprise him, Alex thought darkly as the black, hollow depression and bleakness overwhelmed him further; if Alex didn't care whether he wanted to live, then why would Chris? Maybe Chris just wanted Alex to die, so that he wouldn't have to try and deal with him? After all, he was nothing more than a filthy, abused whore. Why _would_ Chris care what happened to him?

He felt numb. He felt more than numb; he felt dead. Completely dead. He couldn't feel the hysterical tears that were streaming down his face. He couldn't feel the dull, heavy murmer of his own heartbeat inside his chest. He couldn't feel anything. He didn't deserve to feel anything. He deserved to suffer, to be tortured by his pain, agony and fear for the rest of his life. In the sudden moment, Alex realised exactly what he had to do. He had to disappear. He had to make things stop. He had to make _life_ stop. His life. It just wasn't worth it anymore.

It was almost as if Alex had lost complete control of himself, his body on autopilot as he slowly sat up and swung his legs around so that he was perched on the edge of the bed. _Their_ bed. Alex took a deep breath in, and as he did, the soft scent that embodied Chris - the only trace of Chris he had left, that he could take with him - began to hit him, and he couldn't stop the loathing and despair he felt wash over him. He had driven Chris away; he didn't deserve Chris. He had _never_ deserved Chris.

Alex had barely even noticed himself stand up, his entire body flooded with tension and pain as he closed his eyes, desperately trying to will down the tears that were refusing to go away. His head hung low, unable to even look at himself out of sheer pain and shame, Alex slowly walked across the bedroom towards the door of the bathroom, feeling as if every part of his body was weighed down with lead as he dragged his feet lazily against the thick carpet. With every step he took, he could hear AJ's vicious and vile taunts reverberating through his mind, telling him that this was what he needed to do, telling him that he didn't deserve to live, that he was worthless and that no-one would care after he was gone.

As much as it physically killed him, Alex couldn't help but believe it. No-one would even notice. Not even Chris.

Pushing at the door to the bathroom, Alex stepped inside, flicking the light switch on and watching morosely as the room flooded with brightness. The air was still thick and cloyed with heat and damp from his shower earlier, and he couldn't help but instinctively look down towards the floor of the shower. There, smeared across the cold white tiles, were streaks and small pools of blood. His blood. He could feel the deep cuts on his arm and wrist beginning to throb as he thought back on what he had tried to do, on what _Chris_ had stopped him doing. He angrily pushed that thought away; if Chris didn't care about him, he certainly wasn't going to care for Chris.

Turning his head, Alex caught sight of himself in the mirror of the medicine cabinet, and he couldn't help but feel sick. Just looking at all of the thick black and purple bruises that covered his face, the knife wound on his neck, the bite marks that started at his shoulder and made their way down his chest and abdomen, he felt _beyond_ sick. He stared himself out in the mirror for a few more seconds, unable to tear himself away from the sheer pain and emptiness that was staring back at him, before reaching his hand up to slide open the cabinet. He saw what he was looking for almost immediately; his eyes were drawn, almost hypnotically, to the new, full bottle of pills that had been prescribed for him by the doctor. Wrapping his fingers around the plastic container, he slowly pulled it out before closing up the cupboard again.

Putting the toilet seat down, Alex sat down on it, gazing distantly at the tablets in his hand as his fingers began to shake just slightly from the fear. Could he really do this? Could he really take that last step? After all, it wasn't like there was anything to lose; the one person that had been worth living for had walked out and abandoned him in disgust. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Alex twisted the bottle top off, before setting it down carefully on the edge of the sink. All those small little white pills; there had to be a good hundred or so in there. That was going to be more than enough. After all, the whole reason he had been given those pills was to kill the pain.

Tipping a handful out into his left hand, Alex closed his eyes tight, the tears beginning to dribble down his cheek as he opened his mouth and swallowed them instantly; if he thought about it, he'd chicken out. The faster he did it, the better it would be for everybody. The texture and chalkiness of them made him gag and the bile roil in his stomach, but that didn't stop him as he swallowed another handful. And another. And another. He was beginning to pick up speed now; he gotten past his fears and just wanted to get it over and done with. It would be better for everybody that way.

Dropping the empty bottle onto the floor, Alex had to take a deep breath to prevent himself from being violently sick as his head thumped and pounded viciously inside his skull. Opening his eyes, his vision had started to blur around the edges and the room was starting to spin rather rapidly, but Alex wasn't content. It wasn't happening fast enough. He needed something to speed up the process, something that would ensure that he wouldn't have to live another second of the hell that his life had become. Blindly swatting his hand around behind his shoulder on the toilet system, he felt his fingers drag against something sharp, and he couldn't help the bitter smile that crossed his face.

It was the razor blade. The one that he'd destroyed earlier. The one that Chris had taken away. But Chris wasn't here to stop him this time. He could finally do what he'd started mere hours before.

Almost losing his balance as the drugs began to effect him body, Alex pulled the blade around from behind him and just stared at it. His hands were getting sweaty now, his skin clammy and cold, and he realised that he had to do it now before he was in no fit state to do so. He went to lean forward slightly over to block out the unbearable brightness of the light that was hitting his eyes, but he went with a rough lurch, falling off of the seat and landing on his knees. His senses were definitely starting to dull now; everything sounded distant and far away, although it was muffled. Everything was starting to look dark and faded. He couldn't even feel the floor beneath him with his fingertips.

It was time.

Leaning backwards slightly to regain his balance, Alex held the blade between his trembling fingertips before exposing his right wrist. This had to be done properly. There had to be no way back. Taking a deep, staggered breath in, he bit down hard on his bottom lip to stop himself screaming out before he drew the blade hard, fast and deep against his wrist; it was deeper than he'd ever dared go before. The blood immediately poured out of the vicious wound and streamed profusely onto the white tiles, almost as if someone had turned on a tap. However, Alex could barely feel the excruciating pain; to him, it felt like such a release that it was almost as if it was euphoric for him.

He could feel all of the pain, the terror, fear and shame leaving his body in a rush, and he almost sobbed as AJ's voice quietened down to nothing inside his mind. He needed it to stay that way. The blade almost slipping from his grip as he held it with his other hand, the fingers drenched in blood as the deep cut continued to weep severely, he repeated the devastating action across his left wrist as well. His vision going completely black as the pounding in his head reached fever pitch, Alex let the bloodied blade drop onto the tiles with an ominous rattle before he collapsed face down onto the floor, his entire body thick with sweat and blood as he shook uncontrollably.

The seconds ticked by, and the darkness that was enveloping Alex drew him in further and further, he let out a deep sigh as his eyes finally fluttered shut.

He never heard Chris scream his name 10 minutes later. He never felt the hands of paramedics on him as they desperately tried to treat him. He never heard AJ's laugh in his ears as he was taken to the hospital.

Finally, no more pain.


End file.
